I'd like feedback on my article: Bursitis in Our Bodies Do you Have It?

Jump to Last Post 1-2 of 2 discussions (5 posts)
  1. soups91 profile image61
    soups91posted 10 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Bursitis in Our Bodies     Do you Have It? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. tomsmithnow profile image88
      tomsmithnowposted 10 months agoin reply to this

      Welcome! I just read the first part of your article and found that the second and third paragraphs are the same as the 1st paragraph so I didn't read it all. In your first paragraph, where the sentence starts as, "Also, people w/arthritis...", you should omit the 2nd "and" and start a new sentence with, "It can get..." You have the word "health" capitalized. You should put a period after painless and start a new sentence, "When bursitis starts ..." Looks like you need to put more words in that sentence too before feel, it can feel, maybe. You should put a colon after "such as" with the list. Put a period after bursitis, and start the next sentence with, Also (put in a comma too). I noticed your shoulder paragraph started a sentence with the word "which" which you shouldn't do. There were other things I noticed, but this is just a start. Maybe have someone proofread your article for you first. Good luck!

    2. pen promulgates profile image51
      pen promulgatesposted 10 months ago

      Welcome to Hubpages.

      Firstly, you can rework your title and make it simpler. Something like 'How to Know If You Have Bursitis in Your Body'

      The article needs serious proofreading.
      Sentences are weird, long, grammatically incorrect, and difficult to understand.

      Your first sentence itself 'Almost anyone can get knee, hip, elbow bursitis although professions with a lot of repetitive motion, working above your head or on your knees will increase the chances of who gets it.' is long confusing, and incorrectly paraphrased.

      Rewrite as 'Almost anyone can get Bursitis in knee or hip, and elbows.'
      I can't comprehend what the second part of your sentence means.

      'the sac filled lubricating liquid called synovial fluid the reduces friction and irritation where the tendon meets the bone by secreting the lubricating synovial fluid through their lining called synovial membrane.' - very unclear in meaning and is grammatically incorrect.

      Write sentences in subject+verb+object form. That should make it simpler and clearer.

      Use apps like grammarly to pick up maximum errors.

      Reduce the outgoing links to two. (must be relevant to the topic).

      The amazon products must relate to the topic and you must write a description as to why you recommend buying it. You must recommend products you have used. Simply write in those lines.

      Hope these help.

      Good luck.

      1. soups91 profile image61
        soups91posted 10 months agoin reply to this

        thanks for the input I have edited

     
    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)