I want honesty here, If your University son had been away, and you thought he was straight, then he brought around his friend that you also imagined was straight,to be told that they were not straighht, not even slightly curved, but totally bent, and they planned on staying over, would you put them in separate Rooms. Suggest the Backpackers down the Road, Tell them B.S such as the spare Bed had been stolen, or very liberally give them your Bed.
I don't have a gay son, but if I did I haven't a clue what I would do.
But I know someone that was in this predicament. Yes it was the Back packers down the Road, and the friend was not allowed to visit.
lol Mandy! This reminds me of the odd occasion when I've asked my sons if there was any possibility of them being gay - with a hopeful look on my face
I have a couple of friends that are gay and although I like to think that I adore them anyway, I think the fact that they've got more dress sense than me, cry with me and seem to have a hormonal cycle that match mine - has something to do with it.
So saying - I wouldn't give a monkeys. I'b be the same as I have been when they've brought girls home in the wee small hours. As long as they keep their 'bidness' to themselves, don't involve me or my hearing I've left them to get on with ... things.
I'm one of those mummys that simply doesn't care what sexual preferences her kids have. I care about the whole of them. Gay, straight - monks or nuns. Not bothered in the slightest.
And its early in the morning to be trying to think AND write
I 2nd frog! as long as my sons are alive and well, their lifestyle isn't any of my business
Frogger and Dame scribe you are two great Mums.
because you look past the crap to see what really matters
Is my son happy healthy and loved ?
I would have them sleep in separate rooms.
So basically, I'd treat them the same as if they were hetero.
I would allow them to stay together. He would have to be very brave and honest to tell his parents. That deserves nothing but love.
At my parent's house, you aren't allowed to sleep in the same room unless you're married.
I've been with my boyfriend for four years, if we were to stay at my parent's house, we'd have to stay in separate rooms. My mom said she's sure that'll change once all the kids are older.
My OH and I had been living together for 7 years, and we still had separate rooms at my parents' house. Once I was pregnant, that changed. Finally.
lolol LGirl - being pregnant was undeniable proof that their attempts to prevent ... 'it' ... wasn't working.
They gave in
Every 20-something knows that it doesn't matter if they're put in separate rooms by the parents or not. They always sneak to one room or the other. It's a given. I think the parents know that.
As long as they don't make loud passionate noises all night keeping me awake, they can do what they like if they're over 16.
Oooh 16! I wish you were my mom, Cindy! hahaha I could never have a boyfriend over, not even if I was 40 and dating and stayed at my mom's house. She definitely requires a marriage certificate. I don't get it...but that's her strict rule. My ex-boyfriends never liked it, at all. The couch is pretty uncomfortable. lol I was lucky if they were even allowed to stay over, actually.
20-25 years from now, if this happened to me, I would treat them the same as however I'd treat a straight couple.
It all would depend on whether or not you let your children's boyfriends/girlfriends sleep in the same room. If doesn't matter their orientation.
Some parents don't mind and some do. I don't think I'd let my adult kids stay in the same room as their boyfriend or girlfriend if I had younger kids in the house. I'm not really sure, but this scenario is a longggggggg ways away for me (if I ever even do have kids)! ;)lol It's weird for me to even say 'my adult kids' when I don't even have a child yet!
You gotta love the Western World. My girl sleeping over in the same room with me at my folks house? For that, I employ the use of my Cosa Nostra friends' term, FORGETABOUTIT! She's gotta have a ring on her finger though. Or in the least, if I've whispered it to them that she's the proverbial, One for me. I hate saying corny stuff like, one for me. I might as well blow my brains out now.
Yup, reality hit lol
Lgirl - don't you think though - that being told 'no' or being prevented from doing ... something ... however subtle (or not) just makes you want to do 'it' all the more?
Not really, no. I was 20 when OH and I started living together, too old for that teenager rebellion thang (-:
I believe having your parents at least be comfortable and accepting of a childs sexuality is probably the most important. I see so many friends in the gay community that really struggle because their parents cannot accept who or why they are gay. My partner's parents can't accept him being gay and they do not want him to participate in family gatherings because he might influence others in the family. He has had no contact with them for ten years and I know it really bothers him, especially when he sees how my family all get along with each other. It's really sad.
This is so sad. It's hard for me to understand this kind of mentality. How hurtful is this? I'm in my seventies and have kept up with the times. I would never do this to a child of mine. Where's the LOVE?
The good thing is that when I brought my mother in to live with us after she had a stroke, the two of them have bonded so well. My mother provides all the love, comfort, and friendship he is missing from his own family.
HealthCare Basics wrote:
My backgfround says that all this is so wrong, however I no longer live with my old background, so I am having to accept that the gay people have rights, where in my own Country, they would not.
I have met a gay person, and he was very kind, helped me find a shop to buy some shoes even pick out the colour. What is Costa Nostra?, cannot find in word book.
In the scenario described the son would be putting his parents in a very unfair situation. What should happen is the son is honest with his parents about his life in advance of coming to visit with his boyfriend.
Give them time to digest it, discuss it, get used to the idea, etc. before you just show up with the BF.
Then, after they (hopefully) understand, let them know you're seeing someone and you'd like to bring them home, etc.
If all is well with the parents at this point then the sleeping arrangement should be inconsequential.
He means the Mafia. Watched too many bad American films, I think (-:
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