there lived a pygmy who'd lost his dictionary and thus could not be sure how "forest" was spelled, but he was a wicked hand with a blowgun. The giant cats avoided him, and even the great crocodiles kept an evil eye peeled when he was in the area.
He needed a new dictionary real bad, as he wished to impress a native pygmy girl, who looked like a princess. She learnt her English from BBC radio short wave, hence her speech was full of crackle, whistle and distortion. When the blowgun hit a target, she responded with joy and wiggled her bottom oh so sexy.
The pygmy blowgun warrior (whose name was George) saw this as a great opportunity. He did not like that radio anyway, for the object of his affections had long paid it more attention than he had garnered with his blowgun hits. Thus he named his blowgun Google, for Google hits are good, and set off to hunt the mighty Jaguar in the jungle named Amazon.
"I am the mightiest warrior in the rain forest," he thought to himself, "and I cannot be defeated, for my Google is with me. Yea, though my Beatrice of the Bouncy Bottom worshipeth the false idol known as BBC, I shall fear no Evel Knievel, for how art the mighty fallen."
George, it must be noted, had a bit of a mental problem.
He was lucky.
He found Amazon, wincing painfully and groaning badly in a cave hidden deep in the jungle. He had already lost an arm to the Hubmaster who had been so pissed off with him.
So Pygmy aimed his blowgun at Amazon's left foot....
Amazon replied "Stop I missed keyword happy hour, which keywords can save me?"...
George being a little mental aimed his google towards the sound "happy hour" and discovered the word "beer." He said, "The keyword 'beer' is in need."
Since george found that the keyword "beer" made him drunk he decided he had enough courage to go and talk to the twin girls over at Yahoo, because they were always keeping up with the buzz around town.
"Beer?" Amazon said. His eyes then lit up. "Oh, beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I got Heineken, Corona, Singha, Redstripe...I got them all!" But George wasn't impressed. He looked around Amazon's cave and sure enough, there was beer everywhere, just like Amazon said.
"Wait a minute," George said. He was mind you, smarter than the average pygmy, hailing from The Kingdom Hub, and was the Rightful Heir to the Senior Editor himself. "If I click on one of these beers, won't you make a profit?"
Amazon said: "George no, no, no, don't aim your google at my beer!!! This is precious stuff you know, we may loose a few bottles." The Pigmy girl started wiggling her bottom oh so sexy, in anticipation of the google hit. George said: "If I don't hit a beer with my google, Alice here will stop wiggling her bottom and google chrome will be out of the question." Amazon asked for more time, took out his Iphone and called Obama for advice.
Grrring....grrring...grrring,..... Good evening Mr. President....., oh did i catch you at a wrong time?.......Michelle brewing what.......yes sir.......no sir....3 bags full sir.....
"No this is not the president", the husky voice replied. "This is Pamela Anderson".
but sinse george found the twin over at yahoo...and P.Anderson was really fake he wounder what else could happen in the Amazon rain forest...? could he find is way back home with his powerfull ,wonderfull beer...?
Suddenly remembering that it wasn't his beer, but that it belonged to his new found friend Amazon, he returned the beer to Amazon's cave and went off to look for his sexy little Pigmy girlfriend. He soon came upon an O Charleys restaurant in the middle of the jungle. In disbelief his eyes fell on his little, wiggly pigmy girlfriend having lunch with Amazon. Aha!
How long could she have waited after all. George should have proposed to her, the moment he saw her but he was still trying to decide between P. Anderson, the twins and her.
She snuggled up to Amazon, who had recently shaved her head when she came out of the rain forest closet.
At first George thought she was about to tell him about same sex marriage, but that was another thread. Then George took a closer look at Amazon and lost the thread of his thought entirely. He would have lost the thread of his clothing as well, but being a rather bold sort of pygmy and quite proud of his Google, he wasn't wearing any.
Looking again at his pigmy girl snuggled up with Amazon, he aimed his google into the air and blowed a dart. It flew over the tree tops and hit Cabingirl's hideout. George left for a new adventure and noticed that his google dart hit "time to say goodbye" on cabingirl's hub. He also noticed Pamela Anderson tied down through a small opening in a cabin. Cabingirl appeared and said "You may not go into Pamela's cave, this is forbidden!!" George took a long look at his google and said: "Not sure if I can resist..."
by IzzyM 9 years ago
Everyone I know here seems to have their Google traffic back. I don't know about Randy, he hasn't posted recently.I am taking a long hard look at my writing, and I guess it falls at every hurdle, somehow.Yet when I search Google for many topics, I see first page results that I should be able to...
by Benjamin 7 years ago
Has anybody had success with Amazon's affiliate sales? Tend to teach me a thing or two?Hey all,So as a college student and writer I'm always looking for ways to better express myself as well as make a little pocket change. I've had some success (but very little) in using Amazon's...
by Vic Dillinger 6 years ago
Recently, I, as well as hundreds of thousands of others was required by Amazon to submit a declaration that none of the sites I work for or on (in which I use my Amazon i.d.) specifically target children under 13 years of age. I did this, of course, because, hey, I like to comply with people...
by Alfreta Sailor 9 years ago
My question is how to add a widget to my page, not a capsule. On Amazon's page it shows that you canOn Amazon's site it shows that you can add widgets, such as an MP3 player, access to YouTube, etc. I have an affiliate account, so I have that under control. When you go to the Amazon...
by LaThing 8 years ago
Are certain States not allowed to participate in the Amazon's associates program?If yes, then which states and why not?
by Randy Godwin 10 years ago
I wish to completely disassociate my work from Google. They have shown themselves completely incapable of exhibiting any model of fairness or competency regarding providing accurate search capabilities for the internet user.I do not wish their ads displayed on any of my articles at any...
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