Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

1. 79

   marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

   These rhymes are getting perverse
   I'm laughing so hard til it hurts
   Just read Earnest's take
   To make your sides ache
   I can't breathe, I'll end up in a hearse!

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2. 79

   marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

   By the way, name's marco fratelli
   I'm not fat but I do have a belly
   They say I'm the man
   "So much better than..."
   But I've yet to appear on the telly

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3. 71

   earnestshubposted 16 years ago

   Marco! You are the man!
   I needed to join as your fan.
   We should buy us a pump
   make those 34's lump
   ..up to 36Ds if we can!

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4. 79

   marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

   Well, regarding the problem we're faced
   I believe you are acting in haste
   When it comes to the size
   Though it's good for the eyes
   Anything more than a handful's a waste

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5. 71

   earnestshubposted 16 years ago

   I laughed till I farted at that!
   I'm happy that we got to chat
   Tho I love a nice look
   if their writing was crook
   I'd rather be ogling a rat

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6. 71

   earnestshubposted 16 years ago

   The thing is, our wordscribe can write
   and if given a terrible fright
   she can rip out six pages
   that would take me ages
   while asleep in the middle of night!

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7. 0

   Donna Trebilcockposted 16 years ago

   Although I'm not quite up to speed
   This seems a good forum indeed
   Have patience with me
   it's my first time you see
   I'm not yet quite sure what I need

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8. 71

   earnestshubposted 16 years ago

   Your entry is simply divine
   a lot better thought out than mine!
   please join in the fray
   at least for today
   Your pretty, I'm old.. that's a crime!

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9. 79

   marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

   Same here, got the giggles so bad!
   But I'm gonna fetch my writing pad
   Cause this stuff is gold
   It'll never get old
   And wordscribe41 will be glad...
   
   That the topic's moved on from her breasts
   She was right in the size she suggests
   But for the sake of the rules
   Mentioning family jewels
   May lead to a couple protests!

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10. 0

    Donna Trebilcockposted 16 years ago

    Your response was witty and quick
    I believe it's done just the trick
    Tonight I was bored
    Now my faith's been restored
    My first compliment by limerick!

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    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Beautiful Donna your fast!
       you go on first
       I'll be last
       I cant wait to see
       what lights up your tree
       or what flys at the end of your mast!

       replyreport
11. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Your right Marco.. absolute fact!
    I am worried for wanting of tact
    we need speak of her scribing
    and not of her writhing
    and writhing around in the sack!

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12. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    Donna's my buddy from twitter
    She's cool, but I'm just a quitter
    She made so much fun
    My thread #colorpuns
    Laughed so hard I had to go use the sh!tter

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13. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    To all of you new to Hubpages
    It feels like it's taken me ages
    To give you a show
    Of what Web 2.0
    Can be like, see it really engages!

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14. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Marco! You just crack me up
    I thought I wuz havin a pup!
    I laughed so damn hard
    I flew out in the yard
    I'll go back in the lounge now I'm up!

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15. 0

    Donna Trebilcockposted 16 years ago

    Of #Colorpuns, I can't get enough
    Marco spouts out this gold off the cuff
    Like pinking your nose
    Or taking your boat for a rose
    He's whiting some serious stuff!

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    1. 79

       marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       And I'm black, what'd I miss? I'm amused!
       Aqua like the #colorpuns that you used
       This stuff is so swell
       I'll be denim to hell
       Turquoise as long to find ones underused!

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16. 70

    alekhouseposted 16 years ago

    These limericks have started to spiral
    It seems they've started a fire. All
    the hubbers are frantically
    writing romantically.
    Surely, this forum's gone viral

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    1. 79

       marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Hope the virus is not the Swine Flu
       If it was, wouldn't know what to do
       That things getting bad
       All the fun times we'd had
       Would just get flushed down in the loo

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17. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    A beautifully composed verse
    nurturing, not at all terse
    they're wonderfully crafted
    successfully drafted
    it make me look all the worse!

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18. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    No, there is only a few of us here
    it's just that we've thrown away fear
    we just write crazy things
    in circles or rings
    then quickly get in to gear
    
    Yous guys is good!
    of that I'm sure
    your limericks are the knees!
    I have to stop and go to bed
    It's late here in the freeze.
    Australia isn't always warm...
    its cold as friggin hell
    
    I'll say "goodnight and see you soon
    and just to wish you well
    
    Good night oh clever ones!

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    1. 0

       Lady_Eposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Lol.  Thought you were going to sleep
       and already counting sheep
       you must get some rest
       in your nice Australian Nest
       and stop giving Forums a Peep 

       replyreport
19. 0

    Lady_Eposted 16 years ago

    I’m Loving the tone of this thread
    Laughed so much, a few pounds I shed
    I should start cooking
    and some plates need washing
    but I’d rather have Gin n Tonic instead.

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20. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    I'm glad that I started this thing!
    My thanks to all hubbers who bring
    their rhymes to the table.
    It shows that we're able
    to bury our hatchets and sing

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21. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Paraglider your back. What a pleasure!
    you sure are a great man of leisure
    and a gracious gent too
    this is all up to you,
    you're a hubpages legend and treasure!

    replyreport
22. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    Earnest, dude, go to bed for pete's sake
    Sorry I didn't mean to keep you awake
    I see that you're over east
    That's 2 hours at least
    To make up, how much Berocca'd you take?

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23. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    On Saturday, maybe, but Sunday
    it's back to the grindstone. (Not Monday-
    in Islam the weekend
    starts on Friday). We tend
    to forget that, but this was a fun day.

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24. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    I'm here in ozzy me mate!
    I'm deliberately stayin up late
    I cant go to bed
    cos the lump I call "head"
    just keeps wizzin around like a plate!

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25. 0

    Donna Trebilcockposted 16 years ago

    And now I'll call it a night
    You know what, you guys are alright
    You all made me smile
    So this night's been worthwhile
    So until next time - sleep tight!

    replyreport
26. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    So, off to the bar for a Heineken.
    With limited choices I find I can
    be drawn to a bottle
    or three but a lot'll
    bring problems. So what? Re-align I can!

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27. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    It's me brain! It's a mess, it won't stop
    I should buy a new one at shop
    the functions it does
    just keeps me abuzz
    It's the neurons.... the bastards won't drop!

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28. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Paraglider, now don't drink to much
    and don't do that thing with your crutch
    if you maintain demeanor
    the night will be cleaner
    tomorrow you may not do much!

    replyreport
29. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    And better still - armed with a beer,
    the table I'll try'n commandeer
    is simply the ticket
    for watching the cricket.
    The Ashes are England's this year!!

    replyreport
30. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    Ok fellas, Marco's passed out
    You're so funny, you can do without
    All my sighing and yawning
    I'll be back in the morning
    And would be sure to give you guys a shout!
    
    Earnestshub go to bed, Paraglider
    I can see that you're sipping your cider
    It's not very wise
    To give England that prize
    But I don't care, I'm just an outsider

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31. 60

    BadHubbitposted 16 years ago

    Ah weel, nou this forum be fun
    PG leuk whit yer limerick’s daen
    Whaur be the fechtin
    Thae ordinar wad been
    That auld crabbit feelin be aw gaun!

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32. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    Ah'm no goanny lapse inti Lallans
    ra glesca-speak's merr o a balance
    between aa that's sensible
    syne comprehensible.
    (Yon thing oan ra bed's caad a valance)

    replyreport
33. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Youse guys has gone and got uppity
    the talkins gone all odd an muppety
    but I'm glad that your back
    I just got out of the sack
    so me brain is still a bit fluppety.

    replyreport
34. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    The Poms may do Ozzies over
    the buggers are sittin in clover
    with Wayney no more
    poor Freddy too sore
    it's like watching a dog herd a drover!

    replyreport
35. 70

    alekhouseposted 16 years ago

    All lipsticks today I lament
    They're cherry or chocolate or mint.
    They slip and they slide
    The colors all glide
    and cover your mouth with a glint.
    
    Your boyfriend's afraid to come near
    that slippery ole lipstick, I fear.
    If he tries for a kiss
    he surely will miss
    and end up with only a smear.

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36. 69

    lrohnerposted 16 years ago

    There once was a man from HubPages,
    And he hadn't posted in ages,
    He sat down to write,
    His dog he did bite,
    And now he is posting in stages.

    replyreport
37. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    In stages is better than nuffin
    or just a page full of stuffin
    me, I've lost me mojo
    or gave it to Tojo
    now all of me writin is puffin

    replyreport
38. 92

    Paragliderposted 16 years ago

    Another new day has begun.
    I'm working, so no time for fun.
    But we've reached 99
    on this thread, which is fine,
    but who's going to post for the ton?

    replyreport
39. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    I'll take! I'll do it! It's done!
    the honor is part of the fun
    do I get a degree
    in limerickee
    when the hundred is one hundred ....
    and one?

    replyreport
40. 74

    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    Today I was told I was the only one that smiles,
    Which left me looking shocked for awhile,
    Because this tis true,
    They look very blue,
    So maybe they would happy up after awhile.

    replyreport
41. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    Researching birth injuries for my site
    I can't believe the horrors and plight
    That the babies go through
    I'm just praying for you
    These stories just make me turn white
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro7wmxqDmUU

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Oh so heart rending! Thank you.

       replyreport
42. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Your new look's implausibly sweet
    the picture of you is a treat
    I'll vouch that it's true
    I've seen others of you
    but you never looked quite so neat!

    replyreport
43. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    I just CBF doing tax
    I'd rather go out or relax
    Wanna round up and stash
    All my hard earn-ed cash
    Or take a bat to these crook polly's backs!

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Tax is a terrible thing!
       it ends your hard work with a sting
       the polly's need smashin
       and tax a rehashin
       so so you don't pay a ring ding

       replyreport
       1. 79

          marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          Ring ding rhymes with sting, not giraffe
          Boss pays some tax on my behalf
          Paid back too much HECS
          No one did do their checks
          Getting some cash back to get the last laugh!

          replyreport
44. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    I'm glad your taking the cash
    It means you can by a new stash
    of whiskey and wine
    with a touch of the lime
    and do things that give you a rash!

    replyreport
    1. 79

       marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       With the rash, i see where you're heading
       But I wouldn't do it before the wedding
       It's a vow that I've made
       To get hitched, then get laid
       Come that night we'll be changing the bedding!

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       1. 78

          blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          haha that rocks

          replyreport
45. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    Marco that's so very funny!
    your future is all looking sunny
    when your hitched and get lucky
    your hubs may get sucky
    You'll just have to stick for the money

    replyreport
    1. 78

       blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Go Earnest!!!!

       replyreport
46. 78

    blondepoetposted 16 years ago

    BP has invented a saucy love potion,
    It has caused a giant commotion,
    One teaspoon of yuck,
    Will bring lady luck,
    With all night horizontal sweet motion.

    replyreport
    1. 79

       marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       It's nice to see you blonde lady
       I'm sure you can see we're all shady
       We talk of ideals
       But your photo appeals
       Having said that, can I have your baby?

       replyreport
       1. 78

          blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          Oh how bout we hook up tonight,
          I'll show u my womanly delights,
          You sure are so spunky,
          Sexy and funky,
          Let's tango through this very night.

          replyreport
          1. 79

             marcofratelliposted 16 years agoin reply to this

             Ok then, do you come from Perth?
             You do seem pretty down to earth
             You may be over east
             Still the tension's released
             From that potion, I do see it's worth...

             replyreport
             1. 71

                earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                Perth... is that still in Australia
                my geography is a failure
                BP lives up the top
                she's the cream of the crop
                from Queensland our state of regalia

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                1. 78

                   blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                   Awwwwww

                   replyreport
             2. 78

                blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                From Queensland I surely do come,
                I've got the most sexiest bum,
                I know the manouveres,
                To oil up your louvres,
                Awaiting are two cups of rum.

                replyreport
    2. 71

       earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Go BP!!

       replyreport
       1. 78

          blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          I intend to Earnest you want a drop for supper?

          replyreport
          1. 71

             earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

             Absomalutely!

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             1. 78

                blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                I have set the table all nice and fancy

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                1. 71

                   earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

                   How sweet it is, and two lobster thermadors ooooh I love lobster!!!!

                   replyreport
47. 79

    marcofratelliposted 16 years ago

    I just read your hub "Bums and Tits"
    It got me laughing to bits
    I'll raise my hand
    Those pictures are grand
    I'll bet it gets lots of hits

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Marco that thing is a pile
       yet it out does the rest by a mile
       If your lookin for hits
       use words like big tits
       the outcome is cause for a smile.

       replyreport
48. 71

    earnestshubposted 16 years ago

    BP you're a naughty bad girl
    the type who can tempt with a twirl
    we'll look at credentials
    and small incidentals
    until all our toenails unfurl!

    replyreport
    1. 78

       blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Oh Earnest you're sexy and slick,
       And I am a damn sassy chick,
       If you have the lotions,
       I'll do the motions,
       Starting with one hearty lick.

       replyreport
49. 0

    Ghost32posted 16 years ago

    I agree Blondepoet is purty
    Not a cartoon Gravel Gertie
    If I still had hair
    And false teeth to wear--
    I'm way too old to get flirty
    
    I read up on how to make cash
    But left with a pain in my ash
    What few Hubs I've done
    That rank number one--
    No backlinks, they all must be trash
    
    I'm building a house when I can
    On acres we're buying of land
    Our shed that looks fine
    Is over the line
    On somebody else's red sand

    replyreport
50. 0

    Ghost32posted 16 years ago

    BP, I just read your last Post
    And may have to give up the Ghost
    You write stuff like that
    And sizzle my hat
    I've just got to offer a toast
    
    BP, you made me go boom!
    With all of your va-va-va-voom!
    But I've got to stop
    I'm over the top
    And Pam is asleep in this room!

    replyreport
    1. 78

       blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Oh your flattery is surely so nice,
       No harm in a smidgeon of spice,
       I'll dance on my pole,
       As you lose self-control,
       Your turn to shuffle the dice.

       replyreport
       1. 71

          earnestshubposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          Oh dear! The dice has been thrown
          so the thoughts about that are unknown
          I dare not to say
          where they could stray
          so I'm glad that I'm here on my own.

          replyreport
          1. 78

             blondepoetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

             Oh no you're not on your own,
             Forgive me I've been on the phone,
             I see you've rolled four,
             That will get you much more,
             So head over to my country home.

             replyreport