Fellow hubber Alekhouse visited my limerick hub yesterday and suggested (in a limerick exchange) we should bring it here, as a challenge.
Please join in, with original limericks only.
If unsure how to write one, instructions are here
OK - the floor's free...
Bonding through words is so fine,
Do you all know you are divine?
The sparks of poets in all of you,
Through this love we all grew.
I thought I would see this one through
Write a Limerick expressly for you,
PG and A-House
May think me a Louse
For knocking their Forum Askew!
Instead of preparing to sleep
Or at least to count woolly sheep
Right here on this thread
From out of my head
Comes rhyming with timing so cheap
Instead of out making a buck
Here I am trying my luck
I'll not make a dime
Not one single time
But at least my keyboard's not stuck
It's better than having a moan,
a whinge or a whine or a groan.
Religion is woolly
and politics gruely
but limericks cut to the bone.
Limericks are not my style,
but I can stack socks in a giant pile.
I welcome this fun writing fest.
of all the topics, the best.
No arguing here,
it's pure and sincere.
But pardon, I think I digressed.
Digression is perfectly fine.
Consider the socks on the line
It's patently silly
to think of a lily
as Solomon's footwear, or mine.
Totally agree with Wordscribe
This thread has a very good vibe
It's a new thing
It doesn't sting
and Paraglider's been a good Guide.
I'm currently on Holiday
Very hard it is - to play;
For I'm on a Big Rock
And I find it a Shock
Hearing tourists claim "awesome" each day
I just found this sweet little thread
It reminded me that I'm not dead
If I had my way,
I'd be rhyming all day
cos I talk from the back of my head.
I know... And frogdropping, thanks for that. There's a lot of irony in this thread if you read carefully.
I'm excited and welcome with glee
that PG created for me
this forum so cool,
a limerick pool.
It's certainly my cup of tea
Earnest I think that you'll find
Tis best to remember this rhyme;
When you're dead and departed
You'll find that you've started
At the end of a very long line.
All Hail the limerick thread!
Who needs to be sleeping in bed?
The hubpages forum
requires a quorum
of humour - no shouting instead.
We welcome you all to the party
with limericks, happy and hearty!
So never forget
there's no need to sweat
or even to get your hands clarty.
When Hubbits have nothing to do
A limerick or a haiku
Is just up their street
This verse is so neat
To kick-start the forums anew!
So where are the rest of the crew?
Teresa, CW too,
and DJ and Mohit
(our heavenly poet)
Perhaps they're all down with the flu?
Oh...so it is a limerick that thou seeks...
I can do this poetry with a few tweaks...
So, I thought about each line,
Making sure they made a limerick rhyme,
And thought...limerick lines are for geeks!
Juz' kiddin'...I only play...
I meant nuth-in' by what I say...
just came up with this pun,
and couldn't resist the fun,
Of firin' off one...in a "Manly" way!
Please don't find MPM as someone mean...
I wrestled with this 'til I turned green...
I'm still new here, my hub clicks could get rocky,
If I wrote something like a jerk-and appear cocky,
However, my rhymin' is greater than anyone has ever seen!
(Not true-the rhymes from all these great limericks before me are way much better! Humbly, MPM)
Arizona is hot in the morn
But at least I'm not writing porn
My wife being nice
Wants me to get ice
'Fore we die and rejoin the unborn
By writing a limerick or three
I avoid all the troubles I see
Oh sure I am broke
A dirt-crusted bloke
In denial's where I'd rather be
On the TV is Family Feud
The commercial is nasty 'n' rude
But I've got to dash
Without any cash
The kitty needs food and just mewed
Said Clinton to Miss Lewinsky
Don't leave evidence like Kaczynski
Your face is a mess
Take the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off your chinski
Lewinski and Clinton? - Old hat.
We don't need to talk about that.
(It's better to stick
some broad on your dick
than bomb the f*ck out of Baghdad).
LOL! How true Paraglider! OK...How's this:
Said America to Osama Bin Laden
9/11? Or have you forgotten?
Hide if you will
We will hunt you still
'Till your lame azz is layin in a coffin.
Or here's one for Obama:
OnTheWriteSide said to Oblahblah
Your policies sound like true caca
I'll bet you a fin
That once you are in
Your promises will all come to nada
I published a silly hub of poems and two limericks. Here were my contributions regarding pigeons:
Limerick The First:
The Bird Lady’s fond of all pigeons.
So much that she’d start a religion.
She’d call, “Kitty-coo,”
From under the poo
Which weighed much on her final decision.
Limerick The Second:
Pigeons loved to bomb old Colonel Thistle.
The bombs even made sounds like whistles!
The Colonel, in fits,
Finally scared them to bits
By launching a heat seeking missle.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Pigeon-Limerick … -Past-Life
Twas only this morn I did sight,
A man whose jeans were too tight,
He squeaked when he walked,
And beeped when he talked,
As he adjusted his balls to the right.
Ok I need time to think,
While I make myself a drink,
My eyes are droopy,
And my vision blurry,
Seems my thoughts are not in sync.
limericks are very cool
I can break every poetry rule
and over time,
if it just doesn't rhyme
I will stop...
and not look like a fool.
I just have to do it once more
I know it won't ad to my score
I still have the urge
to purge all my words
until I can do it no more.
If I were a man from Nantucket
And saw the whole world as a bucket
I would puncture its side,
From the leak, there would glide
All the fools, then I would say, "F**k it!
It's six in the morning and warm.
The dust is whipped up in the storm
and lashes the faces
of workers in places
we'd run from, but here it's the norm.
This limerick post is too peachy!
It's hard, in one verse, to get preachy...
So farewell "Religion",
No politic bridgin',
Just fun, rhyme, and rum-licious Chi-chis
We'll put out to sea on a junket
With tea, Devon cream, and a crumpet;
If we don't run aground,
Back to harbor we're bound,
Blowing "Tan, tan-ta-ra" on the trumpet.
A limerick isn't the place
for shoving your views in our face.
RedElf's on the ball -
Just say nothing at all
but with humour and nonsense and grace
There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint
There once was a man with a penis as big as a root
He said it was 12 inches and looks blacker than soot
"Oh, cried the wenches,
It cannot be 12 inches,
because then it would be a foot!
But Blondie - we've heard it before.
These oldies are simply a bore.
This cutting and pasting
is nothing but wasting
a post. Now, two new ones, or more...
There once was a girl from Nantucket
who had a puss as big as a bucket,
when she walked it sloshed
so much her panties were washed
and all the boys were too scared to f**k it!
I like my limericks clean
not a bad sexy word to be seen
just funny or silly
not rude willynilly
with just joining word in between
There was a woman called Dawn,
Who married a midget named Sean,
On the night of their wedding,
He got lost in the bedding,
But was found by the maid in the morn.
Yes, Ernest, you're getting the hang of it;
You just join up words without slanging it;
Like cheese on a trisket,
Or mustard on brisket,
'Tis tastier chewing, than fanging it..
when Harry met Sally in battle
the big scene they had in Seattle
embarrassed the patrons
scared all the matrons
and probably frightened the cattle.
My sister does not understand my addiction,
My computer is my friend and affliction.
I love my computer to pieces,
I just think I should spend more time sweeping up pieces.
Sweeping my floor would break the hubpages addiction!
I hate my computer to bits
It really does give me the s**ts
When I go to upload
the thing is a toad
and as slow as a slug that has fits.
He told me that books are full of lies,
And he does not believe in school supplies.
He told me he bought his diploma on the internet,
And he thinks that is truly competent,
But he is the one full of lies.
This Limerick thread has been swell,
But I find I must bid you farewell;
I leave you in sorrow,
But back here tomorrow,
I'll hasten, I'm under your spell...
PG this has been so much fun,
But I'm called on to rise with the sun;
My shoulders are stooping,
My eyelids are drooping -
I bid thee adieu, Scotland's son
My Adsense earnings are down
It keeps on making me frown
but Forums is Fun
and life must go on
So, tonight, I’ll be partying in Town
I'm buggared I tells ya... worn out.
from runnin around like a tout
I's rather be resting
as well as digesting
the new forums when they come out.
By now it is perfectly clear
we'll not be seeing Mohit round here.
I'm sure he's not frightened
but, being enlightened,
he's probably gone for a beer.
A beer, now that would be nice
I could even manage one twice
If I can't have a beer
I'll hang around here
and comment, that's my other vice.
It's not so much fun in Qatar.
You can't get a drink in a bar
before five o'clock
and (this came as a shock)
with passport, to show who you are!
I may stay away from the east
It doesn't seem much of a feast
if you can't get some drinks
I think that it stinks
I would soon have to gargle with yeast.
Limericks are good for the brain
Hub writing's making me insane
My dendrites are firing
albeit a little inane.
I enjoy time spent making a rhyme
My brain does it all of the time
tho thinking in verse
may be seen as a curse
I cant stop until it's after nine.
Is gargling with yeast's good for lust?
I will have to take that one on trust
I am lusty it's true
but it's all about you
so please show me a pic of your bust.
wordscribe you are pretty.. thats so
but there's something I want you to know
it's they way you use words
that wheys all my curds
and ruffles the parts down below.
My bust is a 34 D
trust me, it's something to see.
No pic does it justice,
they're highly robustas,
my twins are the best part of me.
As I said in the earlier verse
your words are so choice it's a curse
when you write so sweet
it tickles my feet...
Do your 34D's need a nurse?
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