Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

1. 81

   marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

   Hey, I tried to start this thing at work
   All my colleagues thought I was a jerk
   I came under attack
   Cause they thought I was slack
   But writing these still makes me smirk

   replyreport
2. 0

   wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

   This thread is like an addiction
   A serious limerick affliction.
   I saw it's back up,
   I said "What the fu*k!"
   Might as well be a limerickin'.

   replyreport
   1. 81

      marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yep, you pretty much hit it spot on
      I thought all us jokers were gone
      Now it's like a blind date
      Seeing what we'll create
      Let's see how much more we can spawn

      replyreport
3. 65

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   When I saw this limerick thread
   I avoided it with dread.
   I imagined just lots of "Nantuckets",
   so I thought I ought to duck it.
   
   When I saw the title a third time,
   I re-thought my thoughts about rhyme.
   And found the thread delightful,
   and not the least bit frightful.
   
   So if you're sitting idle
   and see a "limericks" thread,
   You needn't run.
   Limericks are fun.
   And nothing at all to dread.

   replyreport
4. 81

   marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

   Here's a bit of a SPOILER ALERT!
   Yesterday I was losing my shirt
   My home-made car spoiler
   Flew off my Corolla
   I hope that nobody got hurt!

   replyreport
5. 0

   wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

   Blind dates are awkward at best,
   long ago I gave those a rest.
   But for you, I am in.
   Us jokers akin,
   Two poets put to the test.

   replyreport
6. 81

   marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

   So are you available for dating?
   For the right chick I sure have been waiting
   Had a girlfriend before
   Turns out she's a 'hore
   Our first date we could go roller skating!

   replyreport
7. 0

   wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

   Wondered what broke my windshield,
   sent me spinning into that field.
   I spied that Toyota,
   as you gunned that motah,
   Christ, you didn't even yield!

   replyreport
8. 60

   Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

   Panda Man was eating some bread,
   Till he saw this limerick thread.
   He posted,
   And boasted.
   What the hell happened to his head?

   replyreport
9. 60

   Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

   Panda Man, Panda Man,
   Does whatever a panda can.
   He's eating bamboo,
   Practices voodoo,
   And does whatever a panda can.

   replyreport
10. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    I'm a damn rollar derby queen,
    Unlike anyone you've ever seen.
    My wheels will be smoking,
    you think I'm joking?
    On skates I'm downright obscene.

    replyreport
11. 81

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    Yeah sorry 'bout that windshield, my bad...
    I'll pay for it, please don't be mad
    It just happened so fast
    As I drove my car passed
    (Back in 15, dinner's ready said dad)

    replyreport
    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You gave me the jag, remember?
       On that wintry day in December.
       She ran like a bitch,
       so, she's off in a ditch.
       Guess I'll get me a Buick Allure.

       replyreport
12. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Panda Man drank some ammonium,
    And he woke up in pandemonium.
    He looked at his iPod,
    and saw Pandagod,
    So he thought he had been exposed to uranium.

    replyreport
13. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Now usmanali81,
    Was the only evil one.
    He spammed,
    And flamed,
    Now Mr. Epic Fail is done.

    replyreport
14. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Foul is fair and fair is foul,
    None of you shall kill a fowl,
    Go out and see
    What you can be,
    And stop staring at my bowels.
    
    (Note: What am I writing???? I don't even know.... )

    replyreport
15. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Panda Man is a demon,
    He had a date with a seamen,
    On his 666th post,
    He had a limerick toast,
    And he had a date with a seamen.

    replyreport
16. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Squidward Sponge was very sad,
    And it wasn't long before he got mad.
    He walked aside,
    And couldn't decide,
    If he was a squid or a spongepad.

    replyreport
17. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Are my limericks good or bad?

    replyreport
18. 77

    blondepoetposted 15 years ago

    If I kissed a froggy so sweet,
    Would a prince sweep me off my small feet.
    Or would he think I'm a fly,
    And flick his tongue in my eye,
    And rubert himself up the street.

    replyreport
    1. 81

       marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You made it out like he's amphibian!
       Confusing a fly with a hot woman
       I hope he's your knight
       Who can also invite
       Me along when you cruise the Carribean

       replyreport
19. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    Pamda, you're out of control,
    a crazy limerick troll!
    A rhymin' fool,
    a posting ghoul,
    on a veritable Panda roll.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Is that good or bad?

       replyreport
20. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    I think I will group them together. I will delete this post later.
    
    Panda Man was eating some bread,
    Till he saw this limerick thread.
    He posted,
    And boasted.
    What the hell happened to his head?
    
    Panda Man, Panda Man,
    Does whatever a panda can.
    He's eating bamboo,
    Practices voodoo,
    And does whatever a panda can.
    
    Panda Man drank some ammonium,
    And he woke up in pandemonium.
    He looked at his iPod,
    and saw Pandagod,
    So he thought he had been exposed to uranium.
    
    Now usmanali81,
    Was the only evil one.
    He spammed,
    And flamed,
    Now Mr. Epic Fail is done.
    
    Foul is fair and fair is foul,
    None of you shall kill a fowl,
    Go out and see
    What you can be,
    And stop staring at my bowels.
    
    Panda Man is a demon,
    He had a date with a seamen,
    On his 666th post,
    He had a limerick toast,
    And he had a date with a seamen.
    
    Squidward Sponge was very sad,
    And it wasn't long before he got mad.
    He walked aside,
    And couldn't decide,
    If he was a squid or a spongepad.

    replyreport
21. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Lol, why don't we have a poll?
    Have you ever been rick rolled
    before in your life?
    I have, and so does my wife.
    Now why are you reading this troll?

    replyreport
22. 81

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    Sorry I'm back late, excuse me please
    You must have missed my expertise
    But I thought I should tell ya
    What I had was Nutella
    On toast, with a topping of cheese

    replyreport
23. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    Nutella's the ultimate spread,
    just love it on whole wheat bread.
    Never thought of the cheese,
    Hell, that's a breeze.
    May have to sneak some in bed.

    replyreport
24. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Marcofratelli the hubber,
    Are you made out of rubber?
    For if you are,
    Then you can extend far,
    And you would be just like blubber.

    replyreport
    1. 81

       marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Don't you know that I'm made out of plastic?
       All the women think I'm just fantastic
       To them I'm a pleasure
       When it comes to their leisure
       Couldn't do that if I were elastic

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Blubber is a good thing you know? Why isn't anyone answering normally? @@

          replyreport
          1. 71

             earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Marco, your made up of plastic?
             I imagine that could be quite drastic!
             If you get near the fire
             of BlondePoet's desire
             You could melt like a tube full of Mastik

             replyreport
             1. 81

                marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Hey you're back, now let's talk of this lust!
                I always seem to just notice her bust
                It's a little bit rude
                But hey, I'm just a dude
                Bring it on I say, let me combust!

                replyreport
             2. 77

                blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Haha that is hilarious love it.

                replyreport
25. 77

    blondepoetposted 15 years ago

    Don't put your legs round your chin.
    Or you'll end up a giant Dim-sim.
    They will fry you in fat,
    Oh my, fancy that,
    And sauce you with tasty Hoi-sin.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Where are you from?

       replyreport
       1. 77

          blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I am an Australian, Panda who has a fetish for Chinese food.

          replyreport
26. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    His name doesn't have the word "fart",
    Pamda, learn to spell, you old tart.
    I'll end it here,
    while still sincere,
    limericking is certainly an art.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Lol. I thought it didn't make sense either. Lol. My apologies here.

       replyreport
    2. 81

       marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for defending my name on this forum
       Pamda had it coming, as soon as I saw him:
       Kick your butt to China
       Where no one will fin' ya
       Don't be mean, maintain the decorum!!

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I made a typo....

          replyreport
          1. 0

             wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             It's all good Pamda with an "n",
             We all make slips of the pen,
             Jokes they will fling
             it's a limerickin' thing,
             Forgive me, it shant happen again.

             replyreport
27. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Can we wear our bonnets
    and write some sonnets
    instead of writing
    and reading
    limericks on the Internet?

    replyreport
28. 81

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    You ask why no one answers normally
    I thought I should point out here formally...
    It's a limerick thread!
    Did you hear what I said?
    And to that I welcome you warmly

    replyreport
    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       This wins limerick of the eve,
       so funny it's hard to believe,
       laughing my a*s off,
       turned into a cough,
       and ended with a little heave.

       replyreport
       1. 81

          marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          All fun until someone does a wee
          When laughing so hard in jubilee
          It would ruin the mattress
          Not to mention embarrass
          But it's funny, I have to agree!

          replyreport
          1. 0

             wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             The wee did just happen to me,
             a trickle turned into a pee.
             Hitting only the undies,
             worn mostly on Sundays,
             but travelled to the top of my knee.

             replyreport
             1. 81

                marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Haha, I didn't mean for you to piss!
                Or lose control of that main valve like this!
                But now I know the reaction
                I might take the same action
                Tomorrow, so you'll reminisce

                replyreport
       2. 81

          marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Wordscribe, I still call you a winner
          I make it out like I'm just a sinner
          But I'd love an affair
          With you in my lair
          That is, after I take you to dinner

          replyreport
          1. 0

             wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Dinner sounds perfectly fitting,
             better than the rhymes I'm submitting.
             But, it's time to retire,
             I'll revisit my desire
             tomorrow, when time is permitting.

             replyreport
29. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Well I'm just saying that blubber isn't a negative word there. Ok?

    replyreport
30. 60

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Maybe I shouldn't post here. I don't think I'm good with limericks...

    replyreport
31. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Blimey! I got out of step
    I had hoped that in order you'd get
    my little limerick
    tuned to the gist of it
    now it's a bit of a wreck!

    replyreport
32. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    You two are simply too much
    thank dog it's online. we don't touch
    You have made me blush red
    to the top of my head
    with your little intimate flush

    replyreport
33. 93

    Paragliderposted 15 years ago

    I go out for an afternoon beer
    and come back to discover what here?
    My thread resurrected!
    I hadn't expected
    to see it resurface this year

    replyreport
34. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    It always looked like a real winner
    I'm glad that you didn't have dinner
    cos by time you got back
    There'd be birds in the sack
    Of Marco, the ultimate sinner!

    replyreport
    1. 81

       marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Dude, I thought that we'd both agreed
       You wouldn't listen while I'm spreading my seed!
       Thought I heard a rustle
       While flexing my muscle
       If you'll excuse me, I need to proceed...

       replyreport
35. 81

    marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

    I think my reputation precedes me
    I'm not really exceedingly seedy
    I make out like I am
    Cause I ain't got a ma'am
    Sometimes I feel unloved and lonely...

    replyreport
36. 59

    BadHubbitposted 15 years ago

    Woo hoo my good deed for the day
    Has brought back this thread, hurray!
    Did you think this had sunk
    To the bottom like junk
    Badhubbit’s got it back into the fray!

    replyreport
37. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    great humours on this post
    hard to say which one i like most
    
    thought of trying first one here
    posted a joke in another forum there
    
    did not get people who like jokes
    i am waiting and waiting, where are you folks?
    
    jokes are posted in entertainment section
    follow hubbers there and show some action

    replyreport
38. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Hubchief,
    your humor does need to improve
    to be in the limerick move
    you need it to rhyme
    at least most of the time
    the ending, the punchline
    must groove!
    I went to your jokes just before
    and frankly it needs a bit more
    when you're telling a joke
    try not to choke
    Or you'll make all the readers get sore!

    replyreport
39. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    earnestshub,
    
    thanks for advice
    i later on realize
    
    hubpages are for those
    who never had rose,
    
    this was my first try
    i am glad, at least one cried
    
    if I get support, from people like you
    I would be a writer, a dream come true

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Keep trying hubchief
       that's the bet
       you know you'll become better yet
       if you learn how to rhyme
       it's a matter of time
       before all your humor is set.

       replyreport
       1. 0

          wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Oh, Earnest,you rhyming fool,
          You're breaking a limerick rule.
          5 lines you must create,
          Not 6, no debate,
          Shall I send you to limerick school?

          replyreport
          1. 71

             earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             It's five lines, I put it on six
             I can write them on five for a fix
             if you read it right through
             you'll see five lines will do
             I justs screwed up a line for the kicks!

             replyreport
          2. 81

             marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I just can't leave without a reply
             (It's the humor that rhyme did supply)
             We all have to accept
             That the rules must be kept
             Teach the new, punish those who defy!

             replyreport
             1. 0

                wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                A slap on the butt I gave him,
                breaking the rules makes me grim.
                I respect Earnest, too
                my limerickin' boo,
                but, I wanted to break his limb.

                replyreport
                1. 81

                   marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   Yes, I think earnestshub learnt his lesson
                   That his limb's still intact is a blessin'
                   He'll need it to scribble
                   All that rhyming dribble
                   Oh, your undies' with me (I'm confessin')

                   replyreport
             2. 0

                wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Marco, don't leave, you freak,
                Your limericks, to me, they speak!
                I need a good laugh,
                or at least a hot bath,
                hopefully you're just taking a leek.

                replyreport
40. 65

    Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

    While limericks may be cheesy,
    writing them's pretty easy.
    Just think of the rhythm
    and words to go with 'em;
    and the process is fairly breezy.

    replyreport
41. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    wordscribe I got the idea now
    this one would tell, how
    earnestshub gave the advice
    ignoring I was not wise,
    off to bed, c u 2morrow, chao!

    replyreport
42. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    paraglider me lad, where are you
    your next limericks overdue
    will you write us a new one
    exciting and then some
    to give us a differing view

    replyreport
43. 72

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    I remember when Yahoo was hot
    Snazzy colors an chat , it had the lot
    The along came Goggle and they hung on tight
    
    Swinging like a boxer, them big boys had
    One helluva fright
    
    No doubt in a while ,when the fuss had died now
    A new dog will arise, pumped up to the hilt
    
    His name will be GROWL, and definatley Asian built

    replyreport
    1. 77

       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Eaglekiwi is one hell of a chick,
       She lives in a house built of bricks,
       She dances naked at night,
       And gives the neighbours a fright,
       And she fancies my cousin, young Mick.

       replyreport
       1. 72

          Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          

          replyreport
44. 72

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    There was a young blonde from 'youknow it'
    Her avatar said Blonde Poet
    And behind that hot pic
    Ticked a brain so quick
    
    Guys come prepared
    And dont act like big...twits

    replyreport
    1. 77

       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Oh EK you're really so nice,
       Do you fancy pork chops with brown rice.
       You're really so spunky,
       So chic and so funky,
       I can't help but dance with you twice.

       replyreport
       1. 0

          L. Andrew Marrposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          There once was a girl with gold hair,
          An innocent girl wrapped in prayer;
          But she looked kind of hot
          In her avitar slot
          And now has turned somewhat vulgar
          
          =P

          replyreport
          1. 77

             blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             BP is open not crude,
             Sometimes a trifle bit rude,
             But it's all meant for fun,
             Never to hurt anyone,
             Much better than being a prude.

             replyreport
             1. 0

                L. Andrew Marrposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                I guess what you say is quite true,
                But noone said I was refering to you;
                I know you just joke
                But I am a bloke
                Who wants to write poetry too...

                replyreport
45. 0

    L. Andrew Marrposted 15 years ago

    Meh, that works if you stretch the last word...

    replyreport
46. 72

    pinkhawkposted 15 years ago

    Pshaw! Pshaw! Gee, this really makes me vow!
    Limericious words are such a wow!
    My heart is tickle with reed
    Thanks for sharing without greed-
    From a novice who bleeds to know how
    
    
    (...just wanna try and learn )

    replyreport
47. 71

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    A limerick is rhyming verse
    some find it a bit of a curse
    to write in five lines
    something that rhymes
    with a punchline that isn't too terse.

    replyreport
48. 79

    manlypoetrymanposted 15 years ago

    If only I could rhyme all day as my business...
    I'd think by now it would help make me a success...
    Then I would sit around all day...
    Rhymin' stuff the Manly Poetry Man way...
    And be making a whole lot more money...I guess!
    
    Howdy Earnest!

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       
       Hello manlypoetryman
       I'm doin the best that I can
       to keep this gig funny
       without any money
       and only one guy as a fan!

       replyreport
       1. 79

          manlypoetrymanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Earnest first told me of an Aussie named Banjo
          The one that wrote about "a man on a river of snow"
          I did not know that...
          and so I tip my hat...
          To a famous Poetry Man like that...Who would know?

          replyreport
49. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    limerick writing is very much fun
    i want to write everyday one
    ideas are there
    burning everywhere
    just pick one out on the run
    
    --
    
    i did not get on first go
    took time as i was slow
    Earnest commented
    Lisa described
    and here i am with two in a row
    
    --
    

    replyreport
50. 54

    athena08posted 15 years ago

    Your limericks have certainly impressed
    I'm not sure which is best.
    I had to jump in,
    To join my hub kin
    Tho' thank God there isn't a test.

    replyreport
    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Athena, I'm pleased that you came
       your quite good at playing this game
       I'm glad you popped up
       I will now raise my cup
       and hope we get more of the same!

       replyreport