Help!!!! Published a hub, not yet a millionaire

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   Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years ago

   
   
   Why doesn't anyone like me?  I read everyone else's hubs, join every fan club and even serve breakfast.  Despite my efforts, I am still working for a living and not able to live off of my HubPages empire.  Life is so unfair!!!

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      manlypoetrymanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       
      
      My Deepest Condolences. Sorry to see that you have also been decapitated...What a bummer! But...I know you won't let a silly little thing that like that slow you down!

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         Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         At least I don't have a tractor where my penis should be.  I mean size does matter but Jeeeez.

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            manlypoetrymanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            That's funny...for someone that is proud to show a mark where they've been kicked in the head!

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      pgrundyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Life is unfair, isn't it?
      
      It could be worse though. You could actually HAVE to live off your Hug Pages empire. Yikes.

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   Jane@CMposted 15 years ago

   Oh dear Ron, you make me laugh.  Serving breakfast and cupcakes does make you a good person - go with that.  The millions will start flowing in, just sit tight LOL
   
   How long did it take you to read all those hubs???

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Ummmmm..only 20 minutes.  I'm a speed reader, yeah, that's it a speed reader.  That's the ticket.

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   Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

   Why the looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng faeces?

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      beautyroseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Hi panda. How are you?
      
      Oh maybe ron's internet service provider bill is  already in  its due date of payment and since hp revenues are coming like a turtle walk he seems impatient of when will he become a millionaire.

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   Eric Graudinsposted 15 years ago

   Look Ron,
   
   Don't be disappointed.
   It takes a whole hour (sometimes two) to make your first thousand dollars, and it gets better after that.
   
   Try to make at least 5,000 forum posts a day. This will also increase your visibility, and will make people like, admire, and respect you.
   
   You could also dump a lot of unrelated keyword phrases into the questions and answers pages. This will make Google love you, and give you a higher ranking.
   
   Find as many hubbers as you can, and become their fans. Some of them will become YOUR fans too, which is a GOOD THING. A couple of hundred an hour is a good target to aim for.
   
   
   Publish a lot of hubs too. If you've only got one or two, you won't get those big dollars rolling in.
   Adding champagne to the breakfasts you server could be a good idea - I don't know of anyone doing that yet, so you could develop a great little niche for yourself.
   
   Also, put links to three or four of your hubs into every forum post you make. This will attract hubbers like bees to a honeypot, and they will surely read your hubs, and click on the ads.
   
   I'm sure you'll learn lots of other wonderful income increasing techniques, but those ones will get you started.
   
   NOTE TO HUBBERS WITH IQ'S LESS THAN THEIR SHOE SIZE:
   The above is satire. don't believe a word of it.

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      Pamda Manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Lol.

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Eric I'm so glad you posted this. I was just starting to get some research done of how to attract some dollars, fans, dollars and fans my way. Did I say I was trying to attract some dollars my way? I will now go and implement each and everyone of your points. I always take your advice seriously. Thank you.
      
      I'm not sure what my shoe size has to do with anything but...you know best

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         Eric Graudinsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Happy to help Zsuzsy
         If you do all those things, I'm pretty sure you'll make a hundred thousand by the end of the week.

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            Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Hundred thousand by the end of the week? not too shabby I say. Thanks again
            

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      viryaboposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      

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      Genniferposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      LOL!
      
      Ron, enjoy writting and money will come!

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         Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         But I hate writing, it makes my head hurt!!  I want my money right now!

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I can't wait an hour, I have bills due now!!

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         earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         It's OK Ron, don't listen to Eric, he is always understating income potential. He is Tasmanian you see, they don't get the proper internet down there.

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            Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            They attach a coconut shell to each computer and connect with string?

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      Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      This made my day!!!! ahahaa champagne with breakfast..classic.
      I hope everyone knows what satire is...
      ahaha!!!

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      KIMTEJEDAposted 15 years agoin reply to this

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      dodofoneposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I love your comment. It is a good one make me laugh but you are right, Eric!

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         Anti-Valentineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         And the naturally smart twin Steven Spielbergs here spells IQs with an apostrophe.

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            Eric Graudinsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you.
            you've now been promoted to Senior constable in the Hub Pages spelling  police.
            
            @Red Elf.
            Thank you. We try.

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               Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               

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               Anti-Valentineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               You like to point out satire, so I just thought I'd point out what I-R-O-N-Y is, that's all.
               
               And as for HubPages police, I've expressed my desire before to not be affiliated with them in any way...until the next time you slip up.
               
               Back to work, man, er...men.

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                  Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I think they should be secret police.  You could be agent 001

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                     Anti-Valentineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Imagine the power! I'm all ready part of the HubPages Hermits Club, along with Hal Licino and another hubber whose name I forget.

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   Jane@CMposted 15 years ago

   Eric, you crack me up.  Great laugh for the day!

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      Eric Graudinsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks. The devil makes me do it

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   Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

   LMAO!!! XD

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   Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years ago

   Ron, sorry to have taken away from your post but it just can't be mentioned often enough of how important it is to follow Eric's advice to a T.
   
   Unfortunately even though I've been here on hubpages 2 years I never listened before and therefore I'm not at my million mark yet either. But as Eric said it will come so...........

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   Janettaposted 15 years ago

   I think if I were you, I'd be more concerned with my floating head and less concerned with the amount of money my hubs are making....but that's just me

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   dennisemattposted 15 years ago

   Ron, maybe its because your bald?
   or perhaps thos pics of you in BP's invention got out....

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      That's it, I'm starting my own HubPages type sight!!
      
      It's gonna be called Fat, bald guys wearing jockstraps over their faces Ultimate cool writing site.

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    2patriciasposted 15 years ago

    Sometimes when you are trying the least you come up with something successful.
    Our top hub (in hits, but not money) is about feet.
    Honestly.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Cool, so you're saying I should write about feet.  I'm gonna start a feet hub right now.  If it doesn't make a lot of money today, I'll hold you responsible.

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       Rochelle Frankposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Out of my 100 some hubs-- one about hair salon names has about 1/3 of my total views.
       
       Someone writing about hairy feet, might have a good return.

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    Susana Sposted 15 years ago

    That's the biggest, shiniest one I've seen this month - fantastic!
    
    Oh yeh, I've got a list of massively high paying keywords round here somewhere.....I'll see if I can find it for you

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Feet better be one of them or someone's in big trouble.

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    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    Gotcha covered, Ron.  Just made my first $1,000,000, so do what I do and--wait.  Let me get my glasses.
    
    Dang. Seeing double x fly specks + 15 watt bulb worklight =....
    
    Uh, Ron...never mind, okay?

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Cash tease.

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    forlanposted 15 years ago

    eric i will implement four poin but posting 5000 post in forums need much time. i do not have time for that

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    freelanceworldposted 15 years ago

    lol. Topic was really funny 

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You have a refined sense of humor for a baby.

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    BrianFanslauposted 15 years ago

    LOL Ron you rock 5,000 forum posts that would take for freaking ever especially if you considered trying to read any length of any of them and give a somewhat pointed answer. Love it

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I attribute my abilities to the power of cupcakes.

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years ago

    

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    wrenfrost56posted 15 years ago

    Funniest thread EVER!!!!! I just laughted my ruddy head off! Why do you guys not have your own comedy show???? You'de def make a million for that and would make even more money from your hubs, you can't lose.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ruddy head means??  if I new what that was it might inspire a hub

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          wrenfrost56posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          you have to say it like a british country farmer! ruddy is like bloody.

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       freelanceworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       What an idea for ron ! lol

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       Eric Graudinsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       We have. It's called HubPAges forums.

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          RedElfposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Thank you, thank you, thank you
          This is the best thread I've come across since finding Paraglider's limericks post.
          Thanks so much for brightening my day
          It is all so clear now Eric! Now I see what I was doing wrong. Bless you, my children, my path is now clear and my way lighted before me
          (genuflects in awe and gratitude)

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             Anti-Valentineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Sounds like you should be in the religion forums.

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    EverythingMouseposted 15 years ago

    I think what you need to do is buy a $97 ebook from a guru and then you will have the answer to everything. You can be a millionaire overnight with no effort at all.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I have my credit card ready.  Do you have a particular one to reccomend, or should I just play it safe and buy them all?

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    Inspirepubposted 15 years ago

    Buy them ALL, Ron, that's the way it works.
    
    For every one that you buy, you store up cosmic credit, and then when you write your own e-book, those cosmic credits come back to you.
    
    Of course, you have to pay half the revenue to your affiliates, so you're still out of pocket.
    
    But you can take the screen shot of your thousands of dollars of income from your e-book, and use it to launch your speaking career, after which folks will pay thousands for the six-CD set of you reading your e-book aloud, with the bonus DVD of you speaking your e-book to a live audience.
    
    That's when you start being ahead financially.
    
    And it all starts with buying those e-books - it's called "paying your dues". Get onto Clickbank and get that credit card smokin'!
    
    Remember, every dollar spent is a cosmic credit ...
    
    Jenny

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       That all sounds like too much work.  Can't we just pretend I did all that sh** and have all you people send me money.  You know you're gonna pay me eventually.

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    aniketgoreposted 15 years ago

    lolz a very funny post

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    nicompposted 15 years ago

    You ain't makin' money 'cause you're a Colts fan, Duh.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Great comment from Bengals / Browns country

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    ktowersposted 15 years ago

    Good advice KIMTEJEDA

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ???

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    myawnposted 15 years ago

    I enjoy writing about a variety of things so I should make a whole lot soon. I hope so anyway.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You will be living high on the hog in no time!

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          Eric Graudinsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          OK, Payback time.
          
          You've reaped the benefits of my good advice.
          I'm sending you my account for $250,000 which is 10% of the income you should have made in the last couple of weeks.
          
          A small FedEx package with large denomination notes will be fine

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I'm going to be like California and send you some IOU's.

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    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    That would be in Tasmanian money, so around 39 cents should cover it!

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    unfaithfulsfanposted 15 years ago

    Guess I'm a little slow, Eric, it took me a few lines of "WTF?!?" then I belly laughed and scared the dog.
    
    Hysterical satire!

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