Should Children who are products of rape know their fathers?

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   sparksdaniel2000posted 15 years ago

   I'm not quite sure---

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      Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      No they shouldn't, because their fathers should be hanged by the time they are born.

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         Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         HELL YES!!! There's the answer

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            Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            lol, and the funny thing is I mean it.

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               Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               You'll grow up, give it some time

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                  Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm 73 years old so Misha, my son, I don't have much time.

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                     Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     You don't sound like this, but who knows of course, some people never grow up.

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                  Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Are you saying someone who rapes someone should not be murdered?

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                     Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Two wrongs never make right.

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                        Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Well, if this is your answer, I'd suggest that, please, think about an issue before you form your opinion on it.

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                           Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           When you get to know me better (if ever), you will see that if I have an opinion on something, that means I gave it a fair amount of thought.

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                        Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        I wish to disagree. I am all against an eye for and eye usually. Like if someone kills someone they should be throwin in prison. But rape is worse then death to most women. It leaves you so emotionally broken and scared..maybe for months..or for life.

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                           Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           Bredavies, I agree, to some extent. But I also think that if it happens to a woman than she must be strong and not let it defeat her. It's a thing that happens to some women (and that's why I say rapists should be hanged), but the women are stronger than this.
                           
                           I mean if I were a woman and it happened to me I think the first thing on my mind would be to take revenge. And I would do it. I always say, people can do physical harm to me and then I will do the same thing to them in return. But they can't do psychological harm to me, because then I will kill them.

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                              Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                              True story

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                     goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Whats the difference between rape and say lying? I'm just curious to know that's all.

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                        Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        umm..what?
                        
                        Yes lying is terrible. It hurts people emotionally. But the physical and terrible act of being forced is both mentally and physically distructive. I think there is a huge difference there.

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                           goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                           How? I mean couldn't a lie do just as much damage physically and mentally?

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                              Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

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                                 Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                 I would like to know..what kind of lie you are talking about? I need an example. There is no way I can even come close to agreeing with out an example
                                 
                                 sorry i put it in the wrong place in my post

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                                    goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                    Well, ya sure rape is a humongous act of cruelty on humanity. It effects us both physically and mentally. But a lie has just as much "truth" A lie can take a mother from her child. Say husband goes and has an affair, mom finds out about it, mom goes and blows her brains out. Do you "think" this will effect the child both physically and mentally?

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                                       Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                       wow...you've made a point that I can not disagree with. touche. That makes sense.

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                                       Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                       Don't take the human factor as constant. I think most people take lies better than rape. Of course there are some who would blow their brains out because they have been cheated on, but don't take this for standard, please. In fact if it happens, it has more to say about in what kind of relationship these people are with themselves than about the nature of lies in general.

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               Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Oh I can tell! And you should mean it! Rape is the most disgusting desperate thing!

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                  Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Desperate for sure, because it has nothing to do with affection, but everything with anger.

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         video lostposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Most of the victims agree upon the punishment of severe torchered death penalty for the rapists.

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   Mishaposted 15 years ago

   Who are you to decide?

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   Bredaviesposted 15 years ago

   yeah...that is for sure a tough one.

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   maven101posted 15 years ago

   Getting back on topic, I would say yes, you should seek out the rapist, study his daily habits, gather information, and plan a night of sweet revenge...like emasculation...just some thoughts..

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      Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I also agree with that.

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      Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A more mature view on the subject.

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      goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Larry, my goodness I will remember you when I send out my xmas party invitations.....lol, What would you do to  me, if all my dirty little secrets got out.....lol...I'm running from larry, na, na, na, na, na, na.....lol

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      bella353posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I agree

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   Luciendaskyposted 15 years ago

   Hi. Very interesting threads... on both sides. Does anyone here either closely knows someone who has been raped or a child brought about by rape?
   
   I know both - in fact, I know several rape victims and they all act different about it. Some of them are not over it yet and are still dealing with damage after 25 years, but they have ALL "forgiven" the rapers and they have said that forgiving them was the first thing they did to come to grips with themselves again and begin the healing process.
   
   Do I like rapists? Absolutely not. Do I think they should be punished? Absolutely. Do I think the victim of the rape should punish them? No... it would do more damage to the victim in the long run - and I know that from personal experience.
   
   My friend who is the "product" of a rape does not know her father but wishes she could meet him just so she could know what her family history is like, she doesn't respect him, but she doesn't hate him... for those things I think it should go a on a case by case basis.

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      Bredaviesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Someone very close to me has been raped..Maybe thats why I think think anyone who rapes..Should be cut, beat, whatever is painful.

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         goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Ya I understand, I was never raped and I don't know anyone that has been raped, but I have been abused really really bad growing up in a sexual way. I guess if we are going to measure it, then I guess you could say it was rape. But you know what I forgave him,and it took a while to forgive, that is and it sure wasn't easy, I wanted to get revenge on him in a bad way, but then one day it dawned on me, who am I too judge what another dos with there life, I mean I sure have done things that would be considered a crime, and I am thankful no one has wanted to hang me out to dry on a tree or anything.

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      Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I think none of us (EDIT: except bredavies who also has a friend dealing with this) can form an opinion that is as valid as yours until we experienced this phenomenon as closely as you did. For this reason, I think you are "the most right" person among us. Still, I fancy the view that if you take revenge it may strengthen you by proving that you are not a victim and that you can actually protect yourself. Wouldn't someone feel more secure after taking revenge knowing that she could deal a mightier blow? (Immature viewpoint, I know.)

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   Kaabiposted 15 years ago

   I don't think that viewpoint is immature.  I'm sure in some cases, revenge would not be the best case, but as in most things in life, it is an individual-by-individual basis.  I'm sure some people could recover quickly if they could take revenge, and I'm sure there are some children who would like to know their fathers and some who wouldn't.  There is definitely not a one-size-fits-all answer for this, especially since it is so touchy.

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      Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely.

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      goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      YA know I don't know about that, I mean I have done things real real bad to others, and I know from experience, it stayed with me for a long long time, just food for thought,

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         Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, we never discussed the other side. What if the rapist sincerely repents?

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            goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            If your child comes home and ask for forgiveness, and you know they are sincere aren't you going to forgive them?

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               Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Well, it depends. If I can see that he has changed I am, but if I think he is only sincere I am not.

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                  Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  So, unconditional love is something foreign to you...

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   maven101posted 15 years ago

   Just to be clear about this, I have lived with a woman that had been raped, no children thank God, but psychologically damaged ...She offered herself to this creep that threatened her and a friend that was younger than her...she had been married before whereas the other woman had never been married and supposedly still a virgin...
   
   It never goes away, no matter how much you try, even with professional help...These women are still alive, but emotionally they are dead, and normal relationships are difficult if not impossible...

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      Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I consider it the biggest crime committable to kill someone emotionally. That's why the initial opinion.

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         maven101posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         [ This is true, Pacal...At least if you are dead you are finished suffering, but to have to live with what some think of as shame, because they submitted, and being unable to forgive themselves, inserts itself in almost every facet of their life..
         I would think that if I were a child of rape I would want to transfer that guilt to the rapist...shame the SOB and dog his every step making sure his friends and family know what he did...

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            Luciendaskyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            While I agree that sometimes I do have to deal with some uncomfortable issues, I do not consider myself dead inside. I consider myself stronger and I am thankful for every single day. I was "dead inside" for several years though... until I realized that I may not have had a choice in what happened to me, but I do have a choice on how I live the rest of my life and how I feel about it. And I chose happiness over sadness and healing over pain and I rarely ever even think about that time in my life anymore - probably less than once a year.

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               Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               We are with you 100%.

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               maven101posted 15 years agoin reply to this

               I admire your strength and resolve...some folks just aren't able to " move on "...for whatever reason...my girlfriend was one such, and still is, 40 years later...unmarried, bitter, and hostile to males...such is the legacy of a rape...

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                  Luciendaskyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  That is very sad and my heart goes out to her.

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               Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               If I wasn't your fan already, I would become one on the spot

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                  Luciendaskyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  That is very sweet of you to say

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            Pacal Votanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Absolutely. And I honestly hope that victims don't take this issue so seriously, because it's not their fault.
            
            There is a reason why traditional cultures punished rapists most severely. Back then men were still required to have backbone. If you were on the level of someone who does this or other similar things it meant 1) you were a thread to society, 2) the tribe was ashamed of you, 3) you did not deserve to live. I hope that in the future (when the ear of mindless subversive liberalism finally has ended) crimes will be more severely punished.

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   Luciendaskyposted 15 years ago

   What I mean to say is, I didn't have a choice then. I do have a choice now - and any pain I still go through by obsessing is my own fault.

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   LVMposted 15 years ago

   What a controversial question?  Let them know their fathers but don't let them know their mothers were raped.

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      lrohnerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think that's quite the answer either. If I was one of those kids and was allowed to have a relationship with my father. And if found out when I was older that I was born because my father raped my mother, I'd have a WHOLE lot of problems not only with my Dad, but also with the adults who never told me.
      
      Besides, would you allow your minor child to be alone with a rapist?

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    AEvansposted 15 years ago

    This is a hot topic..... I believe it would depend on the circumstance and how they mother felt about disclosing the information.

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