What do you think of your fellow hubber?

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   worldgrandeurposted 14 years ago

   Do you see your hubbers friends as REAL or can be real friends where you can meet them or:
   
   they are just computerized and screen and interent friends only?

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      \Brenda Scullyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i see some hubbers as real friends.... nearly always there when i need them..... i don't care if they are not who they say they are, and it some cases would complicate life if we were to meet.  I would go as far as to say i even love a few..... unless those few are really the same person in disguise.....

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         worldgrandeurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         From your words I can see you are very ncie person

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            \Brenda Scullyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            you know me don't you........ i think you are nice toooo hugs

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               worldgrandeurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I know you so much You are such a sweet person
               
               HUGS back...

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      Gemsongposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think a friend is a friend regardless how you know them. I had an internet friend who I loved dearly who was killed in a car wreck. I'm still friends with his wife who sends me pictures of his girls as they grow up. I still miss him and will never forget him.
      
      Most of the people I've met here seem nice and I look forward to getting to know them better.

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         worldgrandeurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         OOOH, sorry for your friend

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      Ronaldosposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think its important that you see your fellow hubber as a real person. The person behind the writing. I know we can make some true friends here.

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Both. Different people, different hubbers. I've met a lot of them I'm proud to be a fan

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         shamelabboushposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         did it feel weird at the beginning to meet them?

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            tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Not really. Why? the only weird thing is that maybe I'll never see them personaly. but that's internet, isn't it ?

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               shamelabboushposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               No specific reason. I have't met anyone though there are lots whom I want to, but I think it will be awkward...

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I see many of them as real people~~~~ and yet I know it changes sometimes when you meet in person.
      
      here, so many alter egos, you don't know who you're really talking to at times.   it's me in the pic.
      
      overall, in my short time here, it's been a good experience. there are many good people here from all over the world.

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      eunoia69posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have worked online for nearly 7 years. I have made friends with and physically met some great people as a result of my contacts. Had some bad ones in the mix too, of course. Not much different from meeting in the bar, if you think about it....in some ways safer, too....

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         cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         none are just names on a screen, as i know that behind every screen name is a real person. i don't know anyone well enough to want to physically meet them, although there are a couple of them who i think are really sweet and there are some that i find interesting and others that i am intrigued by and still others i wouldn't want to meet if you paid me

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      Ms Chievousposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If you consider your fellow hubbers as just avatars then you have lost a good part of the hubpage experience. I enjoy reading and experiencing things through the eyes of others. Your fellow hubber can be as close to you as your best friend or as distant as a cousin you only see once a year.

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   shamelabboushposted 14 years ago

   I am proud to say that I have met many hubbers here. Some are bad but there are great hubbers whom I am so proud of... We can be friends even in real life bcz their style of writing reveals what they are...

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      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hey friend ,whats up

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         awsydneyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I LOVE your new avatar. She is beautiful as you are although I will miss your old one. It's still stuck in my mind!

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         shamelabboushposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hello Eaglekiwi, pleasure to meet you

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            shamelabboushposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Eaglekiwi, you're such a sweet person thanks .

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      jiberishposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I had a boss once who said "memos and e-mails don't express feelings" she got fired.  I agree, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they write.

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   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   I have made real friends while here and I love them dearly. I look at all hubbers as real people with all the same emotions and feelings I must endure. Do they not also bleed and pass gas?

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      worldgrandeurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol ralwus

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   maven101posted 14 years ago

   I see my fellow hubbers as traveling companions, sharing our knowledge, experiences, hopes, and dreams, as we meet, read, and comment with each other on our Hubs and forums...I have formed real friendships here that are as important and engaging as any I have in life...

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        So true. even i'm  new here I think i will get to know hubbers better.

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      Madame Xposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      yes - that's how I see it too. Sometimes when you travel you keep the friends you meet and sometimes you don't. Either way it was a pleasure and a fun experience to be with them while you were.

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5. 64

   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   I met several hubbers on a webcam, and met Jenny (Inspirepub) in person. They all seemed to be quite human.

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   frogdroppingposted 14 years ago

   I like many I've come across - some more than others. Several of whom I genuinely admire
   
   And Misha ... webcam huh? Hmmmmm say no more ...

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      Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I would love to meet you on a webcam

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I think of them as real people, but more like people one works with at a large company.  We share common space and common aims, have a little conversation here or there, but don't usually hang out with most of them once the workday is over (although once in a while we'll strike up a real "out-of-work" friendship).  Some are phony, but since we aren't personal, real-life, friends with them that doesn't matter.  It doesn't happen that I've struck up any offline relationships; but I think that's because this forum and site is the only place online I ever do anything that isn't "business only" and there really haven't been circumstances (for me) that have invited becoming more than "co-workers at the lunch table" on here for me.  We usually really do care if one of those is going through something in life (good or bad), but that's kind of it.  If it happens we have information that may be able to help them we might e.mail it or call them after work but still remain only "lunch table friends".

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8. 69

   fortunerepposted 14 years ago

   personally,  I express my deepest thoughts on some of my hubs, things I probably wouldn't say to very few people, yet I tell the whole world, simply because it's easier and peple are less judgemental.  So with that, I would consider you all friends, glad everybody is chirpy this morning and hugging each other!
   
   dori

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think there's something nice about the way some people can turn something like Hubs into something that offers a way to really express thoughts/have conversation they wouldn't with someone offline in their personal lives.  In its way, it kind of uses the Internet in one of the best ways people can use it.  I'd love to feel comfortable to doing that sometimes, but I'm just too worried those offline folks would read what I'd written.  For me, the only things I don't say (in my personal life) are things that will either damage a relationship or damage my hirability with prospective employers/clients (so best I keep them to myself forever - which isn't always a great thing).    (Maybe I need an "alter-ego" on here.    )

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         \Brenda Scullyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         i need an alter ego for sure too

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         Aya Katzposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Lisa, you've made a really good point here, which is that anybody who hopes to make a living by being employed by others can't be as free with speech as someone who has given up the idea of ever getting hired.
         
         I tried to make this point many times when discussing the limits of freedom of speech in the marketplace, and lots of people just looked at me funny and said: "What could you possibly want to say that would prevent you from being hired?"

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            Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            The true definition of freedom of speech waivers a bit from most people's idea of it.  Freedom of speech is a political right. 
            
            The theorist Stanley Fish suggests that there is no such thing as free speech....even within presumed open societies. He says, “free speech...is not an independent value but a political prize,” and that no society has ever existed where freedom of speech was not limited somewhat.
            
            Spilling insults and/or lewd behavior, hate speech ie, which can be some people's idea of free speech....aka/anything goes... frankly does not make societal or marketplace sense...it also intrudes on other rights.

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               ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Fire! Fire! in a theater

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                  Aya Katzposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Here we are departing a little I was making. It wasn't about insults or speech acts that would cause damage like yelling fire or libelling someone.
                  
                  I'm sure Lisa HW has no desire to do any of these things -- and neither do I. Even within the parameters of legal protected speech -- speech you have every right to engage in -- many of us fear the consequences, as long as there is some prospect of being a market participant.

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                     Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Hmmm.  Yes.  There has been a lot of question about the definition of free speech on hubpages...and society in general right now, so that's why I went off on a tangent.  Been looking at it.
                     
                     There are always ways to frame messages...visually or verbally    I honestly admit not to thinking about this so much...which once you think about it is a great freedom.

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                  Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  I don't know if anyone will find it as funny as I do (because maybe "you had to be there"), but once I overheard my mother talking about me on the phone, and what she said wasn't true.  I politely called her on it once she was off the phone and she got angry and said, "What - I can't even have freedom of speech in my own house!"    (Apparently, I could't have the "freedom of speech" to mention that I didn't want her telling people my business.    )
                  
                  With regard to what people may want to think twice about before putting online (either not to hurt relatives' feelings, not to alienate potential employers/colleges, not to give some future "enemy", like an ex-spouse "fuel", or even not to give "the world" "fuel" if one ends up becoming famous (for one reason or another) one day...
                  
                  I think we do have to pay attention to how much personal drama we put online, how "crude" our words are, or whether we're online "attacking" other people.  The other thing is people who go online and write up a storm about their sex lives may find it comes back to haunt them later.  I'm pretty free and honest with pretty much most of my opinions (including political and religious) and a whole lot of personal experiences, so I can't see I don't feel free to say what I want to say (except for those few things I mentioned in the earlier post).  I just keep my online words similar to those I'd use, say, with a co-worker, save the bad words for when I'm alone or only with a close friend, and don't say anything about sex at all (unless it were a "clinical" type of thing).  That leaves a lot of room for a lot of "free speech" (and much of the time what I don't say is something I wouldn't say in my offline life either, or at least would reserve it for the closest of friends). 
                  
                  I'm actually struggling right now with a story I'd really like to "tell the world" (because people could learn from it, because I could increase my "writer's credibility" and writing material in some ways), but it's a personal drama; and even if I want to tell the whole story I just can't.  I can only tell most of it - and if I only tell most of it I run the risk of people thinking I'm only telling my side of it (rather than a truthful, accurate, picture that leaves out details "to protect the innocent").  If anyone thinks I'm only telling "one person's version of the story" I'll lose credibility, I think (maybe not, I'm not sure).    I've thought of creating an "alter ego" on here, but if I tell the story anyone who knows "the Lisa name" will know who it is.  I've thought of telling the story on another site somewhere, under another name; but it won't have the same impact as if I tell it where "the Lisa name" already has a "track record".    Still, nobody is limiting my "freedom of speech" except myself.  I kind of envy the people on the Internet who don't feel the need to "limit themselves" the way I do.

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         fortunerepposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I understand that, I worry alot too but i try to keep it private!

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   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   Real life case to support Aya. I just received this email yesterday from the office of our daughter preschool:
   

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      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Humans are funny aliens huh. Rules for work , no rules for play.

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10. 75

    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    I just take people for what they present ,sometimes they dont want me to 'get them' so I dont

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    AEvansposted 14 years ago

    I have a handful that I have actually talked to on the phone and met on HP. They are real just like you and me , the walk, live, breathe and work. I don't just consider them to be Virtual but people. I share who I am on HP the true to life me, I want people to know that I am human and I want people to feel that.

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       dohn121posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I can certainly attest to that.  They are just some people that you simply make a connection with, whether or or not under the guise of a profile pic...We are, all of us, real people behind our monitors in distant lands.  I'm just amazed that I've met so many incredible people from all corners of the globe in such little time.  Interaction with such people would otherwise be impossible, unless all of had private jets to whisk us away at the drop of a hat!  Meeting genuine people on-line is certainly a miracle in itself.  It makes our world that much smaller.

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12. 84

    Aya Katzposted 14 years ago

    Yes, my online friends are real. Like all real people, though, I only know them partially. I know a great deal less about my neighbors than I do about some of my hubber friends. There are all different ways of knowing one another. We rarely know everything even about our closest friends.
    
    This reminds me of the Hawthorne story "Young Goodman Brown."

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       dohn121posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Wow.  Good allusion...I think you just gave me a great idea for a hub

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       Sufidreamerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       In your case, especially so, Aya - keeping up with the life of Bow is like Hubpages' own reality show

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13. 75

    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    Well geeze that aint fair Lisa lol
    
    Tease us then not say anything

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    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    Ach well, story tellin' has it's pitfalls. It's the risk one takes that puts some off. It's another way of letting us know you. Why can't you tell it in a perspective other than first person?

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15. 84

    Aya Katzposted 14 years ago

    Lisa, you can write the story, but hold off on publishing it. There are some things I think I will only publish posthumously.

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    BadCoposted 14 years ago

    I gotta say there are people on here I look out for and who I consider as really good friends. There is nobody on here I actually dislike, well, except for lol

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    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    Eaglekiwi,     A couple of days ago I actually started a blog about telling the story (then I went back and took it offline).  I've also been trying to think up a thread on here (but I don't really know what I'd be asking or saying in it, or what the point would be).  I think my post here may be a matter of "putting a toe into the water" (and apparently, that toe may have stepped in without getting my "intellectual permission" - or something like that).  In other words, I think my story may just jump out of my head whether I want to tell it or not. 
    
    ralwus, I've thought of that, and I've thought of making up a name like "Susie" (or whatever) and telling "her" story.  The trouble is, with what I've already written on HubPages, it would pretty obviously be a matter of the "I-have-this-friend" kind of approach.     I think I'm incubating how I'll tell the story right now.  You're very right - there is a certain amount of risk to me (and there shouldn't be because I don't have anything to be ashamed of in this case).  I do have to overcome that.
    
    Aya, actually the story is written in stacks and stacks of paper (which include my personal thoughts/experiences) and legal documents, so once I'm long gone it will be here for my kids or any granchildren (if they exist) to do what they want with all the information.  The reason I'm trying to think up how/if to tell it these days is that I'm reaching a point where I think I need to.  I'll probably tell it.  I'm just in the process of working up some bravery.   
    
    (Note after posting above:  I left this post and went to write one (of about four) "introductions" on that blog I mentioned.  I think I'm ready to go into the water at least up to my knees - and make the blog public.  Anyone who reads it will probably think, "What on Earth was the big deal?"     The blog will be a good way to tell 17 years worth of story a little at a time - or at least tell part of it.  . )

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    Jane@CMposted 14 years ago

    I think that a lot of my fellow hubbers are real and decent people.  Since it is an online community and I've only been here 3 months, I take a lot of what is said with a grain of salt, at least in the forums.  I think you see a lot of one's personality in the forums.  If I like the person posting, I'm more apt to go read their hubs.  If they are simply out for blood or to call people out, I just stay away from them...regardless if they are a major hubber or not.  Words speak volumes to me.
    
    I am thankful for the generous support people here have given me when I post and am in need of support. 
    
    I agree with Lisa, that what you say can impact your potential career as a writer.  Who knows, someone might read your hub and think it is fabulous, want to hire you & then decide to check out the forums & see your personality...

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    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    Ms Chievous, I agree.  I really enjoy seeing others' points of view and learning the opinions of people who often think or live very differently from me.  We all often hang out (in offline life) in little circles of people who tend to be similar to us.  It's nice to meet people who aren't. 

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    Shaun2posted 14 years ago

    Wow!  I'm new here so I don't have much experience with the Hubpages community.  But there are some interesting people here I have seen.
    
    Hopefully I can learn grow and make friends and money here.  Seems like a great community.

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       worldgrandeurposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You will ike it here...

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    Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

    Yes, there are some fantastic people here and feel they are being real and if not, it will come back to haunt them, lol but the ones I chatter with are truly wonderful and most likely enjoy meeting them in person.

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