Bloody hard writing

1. 81

   LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

   My godfather died last Friday, aged only 61, and I'm trying to write a letter to my godmother. Such a bloody awful thing to try to write, to convey real love and sympathy without sounding trite or patronising.

   replyreport
2. 0

   Leta Sposted 14 years ago

   I'm sorry, LG.
   
   I have trouble writing sympathy notes, too.  I don't like anything overly sentimental - as it seems trite and somehow insincere (and therefore almost disrespectful).  I just try to be as honest in expressing what I feel as I can be.  Simplicity I think is always better when expressing empathy/grief to the deceased's loved ones.

   replyreport
3. 70

   wyanjenposted 14 years ago

   Oh no!
   So sorry LondonGirl.
   
   Just let it come from your heart and it will be fine. Say what you want to, not what you think you are supposed to say, and it will not sound patronizing.
   
   I'm sorry for your loss...

   replyreport
4. 81

   LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

   He had primary liver cancer, which is pretty much a death sentence, diagnosed a few weeks ago.
   
   It's easy, at the very least, to sound sincere - he was a wonderful man.

   replyreport
5. 61

   Rayalternatelyposted 14 years ago

   I'm fortunate to have only had to do something like this a couple of times. In each case I just wrote an honest memory of the person that I'd always think about when I thought of them.
   
   Imagining myself as the recipient, I'd rather read a memory than a condolence. It's proper hard to do though nonetheless, and I hope you find your way through it, whatever you end up writing.

   replyreport
6. 62

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   Sorry to hear that.  Sincerest condolences, London Girl.
   
   It is hard to know what to write in a letter like that.  I guess it depends on whether you approach it as her loss being greater than yours because she was closer; or as both you and she sharing the same loss.  I think most people appreciate something simple, though, because too much sentiment can "get them going" all over again.
   
   (Oops - after I posted I saw the post above mine.  That's another problem:  Everyone thinks so differently.)

   replyreport
7. 86

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

   So sorry for your loss London Girl. Write from the heart and it will be received by the heart is what my wise Gramps used to say.

   replyreport
8. 76

   NaomiRposted 14 years ago

   I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult writing will be. My thoughts are with you.

   replyreport
9. 62

   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   Gosh, LG, so sorry to hear this.
   I don't know if this helps, but why was he so important to you--experiences, etc. Sometimes those are treasures for a loved one because they can also share the memory.
   
   Sending kind thoughts.

   replyreport
10. 0

    Wendi Mposted 14 years ago

    Sorry LondonGirl.

    replyreport
11. 83

    RooBeeposted 14 years ago

    So sorry for your loss. Speak from your heart and trust that your earnest sympathies will be well-received and appreciated.

    replyreport
12. 61

    Dale Mazurekposted 14 years ago

    Londongirl.  With the loss of my father last week we have gotten a ton of cards.  Not a single one sounded patronizing at all.
    
    Just write from your heart and it will be words she will hang onto.
    
    I am so sorry for your loss.  I also found writing a hub is helping me move forward with my loss.  The people here are the greatest.

    replyreport
13. 0

    Justine76posted 14 years ago

    say what you mean, with love. you cant help how people take things. any effort on your part, will show you care. im sorry your going thru this, i hope it all works out for you.

    replyreport
14. 81

    LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

    Thank you all for taking the time to comment - and Dale, so sorry to hear about your loss.
    
    I've finished - hope sincerity helps.

    replyreport
15. 59

    charanjeet kaurposted 14 years ago

    So sorry to hear about it, They will get the right message. You will have touched them with the word i am sure. Anything writen from the heart is always felt by the recipient. I am always at loss of words when i have to tell in person.

    replyreport
16. 90

    rmcrayneposted 14 years ago

    Very sorry for your loss London Girl.  I hope your joyful memories will in time replace your sorrow.

    replyreport