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Bloody hard writing

  1. LondonGirl profile image85
    LondonGirlposted 8 years ago

    My godfather died last Friday, aged only 61, and I'm trying to write a letter to my godmother. Such a bloody awful thing to try to write, to convey real love and sympathy without sounding trite or patronising.

  2. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 8 years ago

    I'm sorry, LG.

    I have trouble writing sympathy notes, too.  I don't like anything overly sentimental - as it seems trite and somehow insincere (and therefore almost disrespectful).  I just try to be as honest in expressing what I feel as I can be.  Simplicity I think is always better when expressing empathy/grief to the deceased's loved ones.

  3. wyanjen profile image81
    wyanjenposted 8 years ago

    Oh no!
    So sorry LondonGirl.

    Just let it come from your heart and it will be fine. Say what you want to, not what you think you are supposed to say, and it will not sound patronizing.

    I'm sorry for your loss...

  4. LondonGirl profile image85
    LondonGirlposted 8 years ago

    He had primary liver cancer, which is pretty much a death sentence, diagnosed a few weeks ago.

    It's easy, at the very least, to sound sincere - he was a wonderful man.

  5. Rayalternately profile image60
    Rayalternatelyposted 8 years ago

    I'm fortunate to have only had to do something like this a couple of times. In each case I just wrote an honest memory of the person that I'd always think about when I thought of them.

    Imagining myself as the recipient, I'd rather read a memory than a condolence. It's proper hard to do though nonetheless, and I hope you find your way through it, whatever you end up writing.

  6. Lisa HW profile image78
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    Sorry to hear that.  Sincerest condolences, London Girl.

    It is hard to know what to write in a letter like that.  I guess it depends on whether you approach it as her loss being greater than yours because she was closer; or as both you and she sharing the same loss.  I think most people appreciate something simple, though, because too much sentiment can "get them going" all over again.

    (Oops - after I posted I saw the post above mine.  That's another problem:  Everyone thinks so differently.)

  7. Zsuzsy Bee profile image89
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    So sorry for your loss London Girl. Write from the heart and it will be received by the heart is what my wise Gramps used to say.

  8. NaomiR profile image85
    NaomiRposted 8 years ago

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult writing will be. My thoughts are with you.

  9. Daniel Carter profile image74
    Daniel Carterposted 8 years ago

    Gosh, LG, so sorry to hear this.
    I don't know if this helps, but why was he so important to you--experiences, etc. Sometimes those are treasures for a loved one because they can also share the memory.

    Sending kind thoughts.

  10. Wendi M profile image79
    Wendi Mposted 8 years ago

    Sorry LondonGirl.

  11. RooBee profile image77
    RooBeeposted 8 years ago

    So sorry for your loss. Speak from your heart and trust that your earnest sympathies will be well-received and appreciated.

  12. Dale Mazurek profile image72
    Dale Mazurekposted 8 years ago

    Londongirl.  With the loss of my father last week we have gotten a ton of cards.  Not a single one sounded patronizing at all.

    Just write from your heart and it will be words she will hang onto.

    I am so sorry for your loss.  I also found writing a hub is helping me move forward with my loss.  The people here are the greatest.

  13. profile image0
    Justine76posted 8 years ago

    say what you mean, with love. you cant help how people take things. any effort on your part, will show you care. im sorry your going thru this, i hope it all works out for you.

  14. LondonGirl profile image85
    LondonGirlposted 8 years ago

    Thank you all for taking the time to comment - and Dale, so sorry to hear about your loss.

    I've finished - hope sincerity helps.

  15. charanjeet kaur profile image61
    charanjeet kaurposted 8 years ago

    So sorry to hear about it, They will get the right message. You will have touched them with the word i am sure. Anything writen from the heart is always felt by the recipient. I am always at loss of words when i have to tell in person.

  16. rmcrayne profile image95
    rmcrayneposted 8 years ago

    Very sorry for your loss London Girl.  I hope your joyful memories will in time replace your sorrow.