I'd like feedback on my article: The sports in the grip of drugs

1. 59

   Ismahane Saadiposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: The sports in the grip of drugs (must be signed in to view)

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2. 93

   AliciaCposted 5 years ago

   When I try to help someone get their article featured, I generally read the whole article. I'm sorry, but I couldn't do this with yours. I don't think that many other readers could either. The very long sentences stop people from appreciating any facts that you have to share. You need to shorten your sentences dramatically.
   
   I did notice a link to the Sky News home page at the end of the article. I don't know why it's there. If it's supposed to act as reference, you should link to a specific article.

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   1. 59

      Ismahane Saadiposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I respect your opinion, and thank you very much for your advice.
      Your style of speech reflects your level of character ,and your high morals

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3. 78

   Rupert Taylorposted 5 years ago

   As Alicia points out, the long, run-on sentences are almost impossible to follow. The difficulty is compounded by the poor quality English.
   
   Also, the image you have used is watermarked, meaning you can't use it without paying its owner a fee. Images must be free of copyright restrictions; you can't just lift them off the Internet.

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   1. 59

      Ismahane Saadiposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you  for your advice ,and for your gentle way to advice me , I am an Arabic and I try to write in English and that is why my language is weak .

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4. 60

   FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

   I got about as far as the end of the first paragraph -- which was not even a "paragraph," but one extremely long, awkward run-on sentence.
   
   Your command of written English is simply not good enough to meet the site's standards. Sorry,

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5. 59

   Ismahane Saadiposted 5 years ago

   The problem is that our Arabic language is rich in terms, which are not in English, and my use of those difficult terms did not match English, I will withdraw from your site, and do not forget that I write in your language

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6. 83

   theraggededgeposted 5 years ago

   Aw... Rupert, you are a sweetie

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