I'd like feedback on my article: Covid 19 and Mental Health Crisis

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  1. Resham Jehangir profile image73
    Resham Jehangirposted 5 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Covid 19 and Mental Health Crisis (must be signed in to view)

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    1. theraggededge profile image83
      theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      I'm afraid that verbosity does not equal good writing. I found that I just couldn't absorb any of it as it was so wordy.

      You need to state your qualifications for writing about mental health.

      Remove the bold highlighting. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.

      I can't comment on the content - it's so dense to be impenetrable. When writing for an online audience,  you need to use proper paragraphs. Keep the writing simple - big words don't mean better writing.

      I did notice one thing..."the following guidelines are advised:" By whom?

      And 'stay positive' Of course big_smile

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      1. Resham Jehangir profile image73
        Resham Jehangirposted 5 years agoin reply to this

        You are right...Thanks a million for your insight.

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    2. OldRoses profile image64
      OldRosesposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Your bio says that you have a degree in English literature.  How does that make you qualified to write about mental health? 

      You make a lot of wild claims.  What are your sources?

      Sorry, but this article will never pass QAP as written.  You are not qualified to write it.

      replyreport
  2. Isivwe Muobo profile image72
    Isivwe Muoboposted 5 years ago

    I couldn't read more than a few lines before hitting the back button. The lack of paragraphs is hurting to the eyes.

    Like @theraggededge already pointed out, you should break your text up into paragraphs; makes it a lot easier to read.

    replyreport
  3. AliciaC profile image93
    AliciaCposted 5 years ago

    As OldRoses says, you need sources for your claims. You say that the virus has a relatively low fatality rate and state specific numbers. Where did you get the numbers from? Do other reputable sources agree with the numbers? Do they apply to all age groups and to people with pre-existing health problems? Any article about the coronavirus must be written with great care.

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