I'd like feedback on my article: The Unknown Story of World Beauty Cleopatra...

1. 76

   Darsonik Boseposted 2 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: The Unknown Story of World Beauty Cleopatra Who Was of Greek Origin, Not Egyptian

   replyreport
   1. 86

      Miebakagh57posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Hey there, the first and foremost problem is the title. It's more than 10 words.                                    Then, there's the question of formatting your article according to hubpages magazine model. I advise that you click 'help' button on you feed page. That will take you to the prestigeous learning center. Dig and thanks.

      replyreport
      1. 76

         Darsonik Boseposted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you.

         replyreport
         1. 86

            Miebakagh57posted 2 years agoin reply to this

            Darsonik, you're welcome.

            replyreport
   2. 95

      AliciaCposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with Miebakagh that the title is too long. In addition, you’ve written a factual article, so you need references to back up your statements. You should also show the license for the photos.
      
      The use of hyphens in the fourth paragraph seems strange. Another point to note is that Shakespeare’s play is entitled “Antony and Cleopatra”.
      
      Your article is interesting, but you should proofread it. For example, Cleopatra is known as Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator, not Philofator.

      replyreport
      1. 86

         Miebakagh57posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Darsonik, Alicia was correct. Normally, I don't have the time to go into such detail as she did when I'm editing 2 recent articles on the late Queen of England. Thank you.

         replyreport
      2. 76

         Darsonik Boseposted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you

         replyreport
2. 70

   psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago

   404 error?

   replyreport
   1. 76

      Darsonik Boseposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Actually no

      replyreport
   2. 76

      Darsonik Boseposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      The issue now is resolved.

      replyreport
3. 100

   DrMark1961posted 2 years ago

   You should read the article theraggededge posted about writing catchy titles. https://owlcation.com/humanities/Writin … ct-Readers As Miebakagh points out the title is too long and kind of clunky. If you were aiming at those keywords you should rearrange them as she suggests.
   
   "Even Cleopatra, her and Caesar's son Caesarion, came to town" The entire article could do with some editing. I find it is very helpful to have someone else look at my articles as I miss typos and sometimes things I assume are gramatically correct are not. There are programs for this but it is not the same as having someone else read your article.
   
   Look a the historical articles at Owlcation for some more ideas. Ask yourself "what is special about my article that will attract more readers?" It is hard to find new info when the subject is 2000 years old, but the article needs to be something special. If it is not, it will remain on Hubpages main site and you will never earn from it.

   replyreport
   1. 86

      Miebakagh57posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Dr. Mark, you're welcome.

      replyreport