Regrets?

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  1. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    Do you have any regrets in your life?

    My one regret is not being able to dance with my dad or my husband at a wedding reception. still hurts at times that I couldn't have a more "normal" wedding with a reception. I do hope that one day my husband and I can have an acrual reception...maybe for our 5th anniversary or something. I still want to dance with my husbad and my dad. smile

  2. WriteAngled profile image84
    WriteAngledposted 15 years ago

    I regret being pushed into science when I should have studied humanities. It's so easy to be pushed onto a production line by teachers and careers advisers when one is 14.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      aaaa sorry to hear that WA...and yea it is true..but thankfully I knew that I wanted to be a teacher at a young age smile I'm sorry that you went into something that you didn't want to do..

      1. WriteAngled profile image84
        WriteAngledposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Fortunately, I got out of it smile I still use the scientific, biomedical background as a translator, but I get to play with languages and words. I do enjoy my work, just wish I could do a little less to have more me time and hub writing time.

        1. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Yea me too. smile for your hub writing that is...you could do a lot of interesting hubs with both cientific, biomedical background and playing with language and words big_smile

  3. profile image0
    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    believing everything everyone ever said, seems like the lies mostly.  oh well, live and learn

    great thread crazd

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I agree live and learn...I regret that too being told that I am basically worthless and believing it for so long

  4. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    Thanks lyrics...it came to me after watching a music video fo Butterfly Kisses.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmC3rJR7E98

  5. profile image0
    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 15 years ago

    My regrets run deep, yet I can not mention them . They were the past and I have moved on.I would love to change some things, but it is too late now, so I will not even bring them up..
    but for those affected, if you ever read this ( which I know 1 of you have passed away and the other will most likely never see this, you know what I am talking about and I am sorry beyond all I can express to you )...

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      *hugs* I'm sorry B.C.

    2. Daniel Carter profile image65
      Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You are a tender soul, BC. That's a very good thing.

  6. tobey100 profile image59
    tobey100posted 15 years ago

    I probably should have but I don't.  If I had it to do all over again I'd do the same things, suffer the same pains and go through the same hardships.  They're what made me who I am.  I can't regret what led to the life I have now, my children, wife, even where I live.  I guess I just don't have that bone in my body.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Good for you Tobey smile

      1. tobey100 profile image59
        tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Yeah?  Well, it kinda makes me feel like a freak.  Who doesn't regret something?  Weird

        1. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          doesn't make you werid Tobey...as they say different strokes for different folks. and if you have learned not to regret than you are pretty darn strong as an individual!

        2. myownworld profile image70
          myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          that's not being a freak...it's called being wonderfully positive.... smile

  7. Daniel Carter profile image65
    Daniel Carterposted 15 years ago

    I used to have a lot of regrets. There have been so many things gone wrong in my life. But I finally came to the conclusion that regardless of who did what to me, I could either learn from it, or become bitter by it. If I learned, it's a positive. If I become bitter, it's just not willing to take responsibility for my life.

    I also realized that every thought, action, decision and choice has brought me to this point in my life, and therefore, I'm a victim of nothing, and so, I have the power to change the future by changing the present. I try not to live with regrets. And if I do make mistakes, in most cases it's course correction, not a catastrophe.

    Maybe that's a lot of cerebral crap, but it's how I've had to look at things to survive and discover life can be good.

    1. tobey100 profile image59
      tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, what Daniel said.  That's what I meant.  smile

      1. Daniel Carter profile image65
        Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Yeah, I just read your post too, and I agree!
        wink

    2. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It's not a lot of "cerebral crap" as you called it. I enjoyed reading your resposnse and yes I agree need to learn that is why I regret only one thing that is more recent and truthfully closer to my heart with the wedding reception and all. smile I am who I am because of the past and I have stopped living in my past just not the more recent past smile

      1. tobey100 profile image59
        tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Hey, you do what you want!  Sometimes the past is all we have to fall back on ya know?

        1. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          ya but it does depress me when I think too much about the past. and I use to live too much in the past. I can't do that if I want a healthy relationship with my husband.

  8. myownworld profile image70
    myownworldposted 15 years ago

    ....the only regret I have is repeating mistakes I've already regretted! ah well....! roll

    1. tobey100 profile image59
      tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Huh????

    2. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry MOW...*hugs*

      1. myownworld profile image70
        myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        * hugs back..
        No matter...this thread could prove to be cathartic actually....wink

        1. Daniel Carter profile image65
          Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Totally agree. I think this where coming together as we are doing really helps us get a perspective for our own lives. Old habits are hard to break, MOW, but if we really want to get past them, we can in time. It's often a slow process. Besides, you are dynamic in so many ways, I think, and capable. It will come together. wink

          1. myownworld profile image70
            myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            smile thanks...I actually do agree completely with you. I think giving into regrets and resentments just turns your heart bitter at some level.....and I could never let that happen. Positivity within translates to every thing we do.....and 'good' things just keep finding you then...! smile

  9. profile image0
    StormRyderposted 15 years ago

    I regret not reaching out to my biological parents, I don't really know why I regret this?? They obviously didn't care for me. I have no idea if they are alive or where they may be. After all this time I still think about them from time to time. I haven't seen my father since I was 8, my mother since I was 12 and then it was only in passing. I saw her while we were at a traffic light and she was in the car next to us, I recognized her instantly and smiled she gave nothing in return just a vacant stare. I was once again crushed by the one who should have loved me most.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Only thing I regret about my biological parents isn ot getting their medical history but I can change that. I am sorry that you regret not knowing them. and it's not that they didn't care about you...it's that they weren't able to care for you so they did what they knew would be best for you, giving you to a loving family who could raise you.

  10. Daniel Carter profile image65
    Daniel Carterposted 15 years ago

    Well, but, really, if we dwell on our regrets too much, don't they just become a part of our baggage? I mean they do prevent us from moving forward most often. They effect our relationships and how we view life and everything else.

    I think the *only* good purpose of a regret is that it becomes a gift for us to learn from, unload and move on. Even the worst regrets could be categorized this way, I think.

    I'm not the only who thinks this, am I?

    1. tobey100 profile image59
      tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Nope.  I could say I regret not being able to see my 6th boy grow up but that's not really a regret.  It's more of a loss or sorrow and not really baggage.  We accumulate enough baggage just living, we don't need to pile on more by adding something from the past we can't change.  Ok, this is starting to make me tear up.

      1. Daniel Carter profile image65
        Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        ((Buddy hug)) amigo. I know this stuff gets to the heart pretty fast. It's making me think a lot too.

        1. tobey100 profile image59
          tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Ya know.  Maybe I do have a regret or two.  I have things I don't like to think about.  Would that be a form of regret???  Not sure.

          1. Daniel Carter profile image65
            Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Well, it might be. But as you said, I think you have to sort out what is actual grief and sorrow from the bitterness of regret. A course correction and moving forward can remove the bitterness, but it doesn't have to remove the grief and sorrow. But I think we have to decide for ourselves what it may actually be.

            I still have some grief and sorrow over things that happened to me and things I did. But I don't have any bitterness about most of it. The good news is that in forgiving and being forgiven the grief and sorrow are also lessened quite a bit.

            We just have to be able to kind of be our own doctor about our internal things, but it really does help to share and get perspectives on it.

            Loss is hardest of all to feel any resolve or peace for me. I've lost a lot of people in my life. It never gets easier.

            1. myownworld profile image70
              myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

              hey, Daniel, can I get a copy of all your forum posts.... seriously? smile

              1. Daniel Carter profile image65
                Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Um, well, that's a tough one.
                I don't know if it helps, and I'm really NOT trying to self promote, but a lot of my thinking on this subject is summed up in a hub I wrote. I shook as I wrote it because it was such an emotional experience. It's called "There Is a Meadow."

                Almost brings tears to my eyes now. The friend that I hiked with in the story melted down and is nowhere to be found. He was like a twin brother. But I learned a lot.

                We all have this kind of wisdom in us. It's so cool that we express it in different ways, which will reach into someone and create a whole new perspective, give hope and so much more.

                Tobey, fears of those old closets are natural. I've opened almost all of mine and dealt with the demons. It's deep crap. Backed up toilets, I call them. But you seem to have a great family, and if it ever came right down to it, you know they would be there through it.

                I had no idea I could survive what I did, but it was unconditional acceptance and love from people who I adopted as family that got me through it. We usually all have those people in our lives. They come when we need them, most often.

                1. myownworld profile image70
                  myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  yes, so true. Here's a hug for you Daniel...and u know where I'm headed to.....the 'Meadow'....smile

      2. profile image0
        Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        aaa Tobey *HUGS*

        1. tobey100 profile image59
          tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks sweetie.  I think I'm gonna quit for a minute or two.  Can't see to type.

  11. confused barbie profile image59
    confused barbieposted 15 years ago

    I regret little things and wish some things were different but im a strong believer that everything happens for a reason!!

  12. Flightkeeper profile image68
    Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago

    I've had regrets, I've had few...wait that sounds like a Sinatra song, Doh!

    I agree with Daniel, I think things could have worked out differently if I've done things differently, but I believe in second chances so you just have to be aware when something comes by that you really want, to grab the opportunity.

    Crazd, you'll get a chance to dance with your Dad and Hubby at your "real" wedding reception.

  13. profile image0
    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 15 years ago

    Thank You Crazd...((((HUGZ)))) back, and Thank You Mr. Carter, your kind words made me cry, but in a peaceful way smile

    1. Daniel Carter profile image65
      Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Totally (((((huging))))) you back, BC.
      smile

  14. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    Thanks FlightKeeper I do hope that I do get to. Hubby promised me a "real" reception but we shall see what the future holds for us and if it does happen smile

  15. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    wow I guess that starting this thread was a good idea. smile I actually have CB to thank by her other thread and us talking about Butterfly Kisses. smile

    1. myownworld profile image70
      myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      introspection...then smiles....then lots of hugs...that's what this thread is about! smile

      1. tobey100 profile image59
        tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Yeah, well introspection makes me very nervous.  I got too many little rooms I don't like going into.  No windows, too many cobwebs and scary crap in the closets.

        1. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          fear only makes us stronger...regrets only make us stronger, and talking about it makes even stronger in life. smile

          1. tobey100 profile image59
            tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Tell that to what that is hiding in the closet.  smile

            1. profile image0
              Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

              All right then..YO You in the closet! stop tormenting my friend Tobey! big_smile come out here and fight...

              1. myownworld profile image70
                myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                yep, and I'll get a duster...I'm good at cleaning...and Daniel can get those hard to reach cobwebs...while CW can chase away that 'thing' in the closet...! wink

                1. profile image0
                  Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm good at chasing things away...lol

                  1. myownworld profile image70
                    myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                    big_smile big_smile (except us!!)

        2. Daniel Carter profile image65
          Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          There is most likely a time when you'll deal with it and be at peace. What I learned was it comes at you when you least expect it. When you think your life is pretty good, feeling safe, etc. But that's just what happened to me. It's different for everyone. And it's actually good when it happens.

          1. tobey100 profile image59
            tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            OK, I'm gonna take your word for it.  Now that I won't be able to sleep waiting for the bomb to drop, who's up for tacos?????

            1. Daniel Carter profile image65
              Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

              Live life with abandon. If you don't because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, you'll regret that too.

              Dance as if no one is watching. You know that song. Don't wait for anything to happen. MAKE good things happen. Push the crap out of your life.

        3. myownworld profile image70
          myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          ( not that this the time, but that was beautifully expressed..! smile )

          1. profile image0
            Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            anytime is good for sweet compliments MOW smile

    2. confused barbie profile image59
      confused barbieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Glad to be of help smile

  16. profile image0
    Stevennix2001posted 15 years ago

    hmmm...i would say, but i have enough regrets in life to fill up the hoover dam if i listed all of them.  lol.  however, i try to never dwell on the past.  if i could correct a few things about my past, I would've taken a lot more chances and I would've tried to be there more for my mom when she was still married to my father.

  17. bojanglesk8 profile image59
    bojanglesk8posted 15 years ago

    I regret everything.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      aaa bojanglesk I'm sorry *hugs*

  18. efeguy profile image38
    efeguyposted 15 years ago

    my regrets is never following my instinct at the right time.

    though have got over it,but it set me back in  time past.

    am ok now

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I am glad that you aren't letting it stop you from moving forward. yes the past will have some hold on us but all we can do is more forward. and you now know that you can trust your instinct so you have learned

  19. NaomiR profile image71
    NaomiRposted 15 years ago

    I have too many to name. I guess one of my big ones is not going overseas for a semester during college. I think that would've been a life changing experience.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      aaa I'm sorry Naomi that you didn't get the chance to go overseas for a semester.

  20. jayjay40 profile image68
    jayjay40posted 15 years ago

    Regrets, I have a few, but then again too few to mention

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      smile that is good jayjay

  21. waynet profile image69
    waynetposted 15 years ago

    My biggest regret is not finding the internet earlier, like the late 90's, I could have been rich by now with all the stuff I'm doing, would have dominated the arts niche and no one would be able to touch my incredible coolness except me...I can feel a five knuckle shuffle coming on oh yeah!

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      lol waynet well don't worry you still have the rest of yor life online to make a killing right? big_smile

 
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