Regrets?

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   Crazdwriterposted 11 years ago

   Do you have any regrets in your life?
   
   My one regret is not being able to dance with my dad or my husband at a wedding reception. still hurts at times that I couldn't have a more "normal" wedding with a reception. I do hope that one day my husband and I can have an acrual reception...maybe for our 5th anniversary or something. I still want to dance with my husbad and my dad.

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   WriteAngledposted 11 years ago

   I regret being pushed into science when I should have studied humanities. It's so easy to be pushed onto a production line by teachers and careers advisers when one is 14.

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      aaaa sorry to hear that WA...and yea it is true..but thankfully I knew that I wanted to be a teacher at a young age I'm sorry that you went into something that you didn't want to do..

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         WriteAngledposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Fortunately, I got out of it I still use the scientific, biomedical background as a translator, but I get to play with languages and words. I do enjoy my work, just wish I could do a little less to have more me time and hub writing time.

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            Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Yea me too. for your hub writing that is...you could do a lot of interesting hubs with both cientific, biomedical background and playing with language and words

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   lyricsingrayposted 11 years ago

   believing everything everyone ever said, seems like the lies mostly.  oh well, live and learn
   
   great thread crazd

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree live and learn...I regret that too being told that I am basically worthless and believing it for so long

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   Crazdwriterposted 11 years ago

   Thanks lyrics...it came to me after watching a music video fo Butterfly Kisses.
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmC3rJR7E98

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   B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 11 years ago

   My regrets run deep, yet I can not mention them . They were the past and I have moved on.I would love to change some things, but it is too late now, so I will not even bring them up..
   but for those affected, if you ever read this ( which I know 1 of you have passed away and the other will most likely never see this, you know what I am talking about and I am sorry beyond all I can express to you )...

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      *hugs* I'm sorry B.C.

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      Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You are a tender soul, BC. That's a very good thing.

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   tobey100posted 11 years ago

   I probably should have but I don't.  If I had it to do all over again I'd do the same things, suffer the same pains and go through the same hardships.  They're what made me who I am.  I can't regret what led to the life I have now, my children, wife, even where I live.  I guess I just don't have that bone in my body.

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good for you Tobey

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         tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah?  Well, it kinda makes me feel like a freak.  Who doesn't regret something?  Weird

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            Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            doesn't make you werid Tobey...as they say different strokes for different folks. and if you have learned not to regret than you are pretty darn strong as an individual!

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            myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            that's not being a freak...it's called being wonderfully positive....

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   Daniel Carterposted 11 years ago

   I used to have a lot of regrets. There have been so many things gone wrong in my life. But I finally came to the conclusion that regardless of who did what to me, I could either learn from it, or become bitter by it. If I learned, it's a positive. If I become bitter, it's just not willing to take responsibility for my life.
   
   I also realized that every thought, action, decision and choice has brought me to this point in my life, and therefore, I'm a victim of nothing, and so, I have the power to change the future by changing the present. I try not to live with regrets. And if I do make mistakes, in most cases it's course correction, not a catastrophe.
   
   Maybe that's a lot of cerebral crap, but it's how I've had to look at things to survive and discover life can be good.

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      tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, what Daniel said.  That's what I meant. 

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         Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, I just read your post too, and I agree!
         

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's not a lot of "cerebral crap" as you called it. I enjoyed reading your resposnse and yes I agree need to learn that is why I regret only one thing that is more recent and truthfully closer to my heart with the wedding reception and all. I am who I am because of the past and I have stopped living in my past just not the more recent past

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         tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Hey, you do what you want!  Sometimes the past is all we have to fall back on ya know?

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            Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            ya but it does depress me when I think too much about the past. and I use to live too much in the past. I can't do that if I want a healthy relationship with my husband.

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   myownworldposted 11 years ago

   ....the only regret I have is repeating mistakes I've already regretted! ah well....!

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      tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Huh????

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry MOW...*hugs*

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         myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         * hugs back..
         No matter...this thread could prove to be cathartic actually....

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            Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Totally agree. I think this where coming together as we are doing really helps us get a perspective for our own lives. Old habits are hard to break, MOW, but if we really want to get past them, we can in time. It's often a slow process. Besides, you are dynamic in so many ways, I think, and capable. It will come together.

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               myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

               thanks...I actually do agree completely with you. I think giving into regrets and resentments just turns your heart bitter at some level.....and I could never let that happen. Positivity within translates to every thing we do.....and 'good' things just keep finding you then...!

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   StormRyderposted 11 years ago

   I regret not reaching out to my biological parents, I don't really know why I regret this?? They obviously didn't care for me. I have no idea if they are alive or where they may be. After all this time I still think about them from time to time. I haven't seen my father since I was 8, my mother since I was 12 and then it was only in passing. I saw her while we were at a traffic light and she was in the car next to us, I recognized her instantly and smiled she gave nothing in return just a vacant stare. I was once again crushed by the one who should have loved me most.

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      Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Only thing I regret about my biological parents isn ot getting their medical history but I can change that. I am sorry that you regret not knowing them. and it's not that they didn't care about you...it's that they weren't able to care for you so they did what they knew would be best for you, giving you to a loving family who could raise you.

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    Daniel Carterposted 11 years ago

    Well, but, really, if we dwell on our regrets too much, don't they just become a part of our baggage? I mean they do prevent us from moving forward most often. They effect our relationships and how we view life and everything else.
    
    I think the *only* good purpose of a regret is that it becomes a gift for us to learn from, unload and move on. Even the worst regrets could be categorized this way, I think.
    
    I'm not the only who thinks this, am I?

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       tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Nope.  I could say I regret not being able to see my 6th boy grow up but that's not really a regret.  It's more of a loss or sorrow and not really baggage.  We accumulate enough baggage just living, we don't need to pile on more by adding something from the past we can't change.  Ok, this is starting to make me tear up.

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          Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          ((Buddy hug)) amigo. I know this stuff gets to the heart pretty fast. It's making me think a lot too.

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             tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

             Ya know.  Maybe I do have a regret or two.  I have things I don't like to think about.  Would that be a form of regret???  Not sure.

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                Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                Well, it might be. But as you said, I think you have to sort out what is actual grief and sorrow from the bitterness of regret. A course correction and moving forward can remove the bitterness, but it doesn't have to remove the grief and sorrow. But I think we have to decide for ourselves what it may actually be.
                
                I still have some grief and sorrow over things that happened to me and things I did. But I don't have any bitterness about most of it. The good news is that in forgiving and being forgiven the grief and sorrow are also lessened quite a bit.
                
                We just have to be able to kind of be our own doctor about our internal things, but it really does help to share and get perspectives on it.
                
                Loss is hardest of all to feel any resolve or peace for me. I've lost a lot of people in my life. It never gets easier.

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                   myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                   hey, Daniel, can I get a copy of all your forum posts.... seriously?

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                      Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                      Um, well, that's a tough one.
                      I don't know if it helps, and I'm really NOT trying to self promote, but a lot of my thinking on this subject is summed up in a hub I wrote. I shook as I wrote it because it was such an emotional experience. It's called "There Is a Meadow."
                      
                      Almost brings tears to my eyes now. The friend that I hiked with in the story melted down and is nowhere to be found. He was like a twin brother. But I learned a lot.
                      
                      We all have this kind of wisdom in us. It's so cool that we express it in different ways, which will reach into someone and create a whole new perspective, give hope and so much more.
                      
                      Tobey, fears of those old closets are natural. I've opened almost all of mine and dealt with the demons. It's deep crap. Backed up toilets, I call them. But you seem to have a great family, and if it ever came right down to it, you know they would be there through it.
                      
                      I had no idea I could survive what I did, but it was unconditional acceptance and love from people who I adopted as family that got me through it. We usually all have those people in our lives. They come when we need them, most often.

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                         myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                         yes, so true. Here's a hug for you Daniel...and u know where I'm headed to.....the 'Meadow'....

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          Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          aaa Tobey *HUGS*

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             tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

             Thanks sweetie.  I think I'm gonna quit for a minute or two.  Can't see to type.

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    confused barbieposted 11 years ago

    I regret little things and wish some things were different but im a strong believer that everything happens for a reason!!

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    Flightkeeperposted 11 years ago

    I've had regrets, I've had few...wait that sounds like a Sinatra song, Doh!
    
    I agree with Daniel, I think things could have worked out differently if I've done things differently, but I believe in second chances so you just have to be aware when something comes by that you really want, to grab the opportunity.
    
    Crazd, you'll get a chance to dance with your Dad and Hubby at your "real" wedding reception.

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 11 years ago

    Thank You Crazd...((((HUGZ)))) back, and Thank You Mr. Carter, your kind words made me cry, but in a peaceful way

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       Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Totally (((((huging))))) you back, BC.
       

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    Crazdwriterposted 11 years ago

    Thanks FlightKeeper I do hope that I do get to. Hubby promised me a "real" reception but we shall see what the future holds for us and if it does happen

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    Crazdwriterposted 11 years ago

    wow I guess that starting this thread was a good idea. I actually have CB to thank by her other thread and us talking about Butterfly Kisses.

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       myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       introspection...then smiles....then lots of hugs...that's what this thread is about!

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          tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah, well introspection makes me very nervous.  I got too many little rooms I don't like going into.  No windows, too many cobwebs and scary crap in the closets.

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             Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

             fear only makes us stronger...regrets only make us stronger, and talking about it makes even stronger in life.

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                tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

                Tell that to what that is hiding in the closet. 

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                   Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                   All right then..YO You in the closet! stop tormenting my friend Tobey! come out here and fight...

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                      myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                      yep, and I'll get a duster...I'm good at cleaning...and Daniel can get those hard to reach cobwebs...while CW can chase away that 'thing' in the closet...!

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                         Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                         I'm good at chasing things away...

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                            myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                            (except us!!)

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                               Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                               I know I'm still working on that one just kidding!

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             Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

             There is most likely a time when you'll deal with it and be at peace. What I learned was it comes at you when you least expect it. When you think your life is pretty good, feeling safe, etc. But that's just what happened to me. It's different for everyone. And it's actually good when it happens.

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                tobey100posted 11 years agoin reply to this

                OK, I'm gonna take your word for it.  Now that I won't be able to sleep waiting for the bomb to drop, who's up for tacos?????

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                   Daniel Carterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                   Live life with abandon. If you don't because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, you'll regret that too.
                   
                   Dance as if no one is watching. You know that song. Don't wait for anything to happen. MAKE good things happen. Push the crap out of your life.

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             myownworldposted 11 years agoin reply to this

             ( not that this the time, but that was beautifully expressed..! )

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                Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                anytime is good for sweet compliments MOW

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       confused barbieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Glad to be of help

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    Stevennix2001posted 11 years ago

    hmmm...i would say, but i have enough regrets in life to fill up the hoover dam if i listed all of them.  lol.  however, i try to never dwell on the past.  if i could correct a few things about my past, I would've taken a lot more chances and I would've tried to be there more for my mom when she was still married to my father.

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    bojanglesk8posted 11 years ago

    I regret everything.

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       Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       aaa bojanglesk I'm sorry *hugs*

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    efeguyposted 11 years ago

    my regrets is never following my instinct at the right time.
    
    though have got over it,but it set me back in  time past.
    
    am ok now

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       Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I am glad that you aren't letting it stop you from moving forward. yes the past will have some hold on us but all we can do is more forward. and you now know that you can trust your instinct so you have learned

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    NaomiRposted 11 years ago

    I have too many to name. I guess one of my big ones is not going overseas for a semester during college. I think that would've been a life changing experience.

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       Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       aaa I'm sorry Naomi that you didn't get the chance to go overseas for a semester.

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    jayjay40posted 11 years ago

    Regrets, I have a few, but then again too few to mention

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       Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       that is good jayjay

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    waynetposted 11 years ago

    My biggest regret is not finding the internet earlier, like the late 90's, I could have been rich by now with all the stuff I'm doing, would have dominated the arts niche and no one would be able to touch my incredible coolness except me...I can feel a five knuckle shuffle coming on oh yeah!

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       Crazdwriterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       lol waynet well don't worry you still have the rest of yor life online to make a killing right?

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