Looking for my Friend Jackie Lynnley

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   LadyFiddlerposted 9 months ago

   Have anyone on here heard from Jackie Lynnley in recent times? We communicate but my emails are going un answered and I am worried.

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      Kenna McHughposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      I googled her name, and she has a blog, but it looks inactive.

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      Thelma Albertsposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      I hope she is alright.

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   PaulGoodman67posted 9 months ago

   From what I see, no recent activity on HP. I can't open the Facebook page she links to in her profile.
   
   You're maybe right to be concerned.

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      LadyFiddlerposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Yes I can't access the FB account either. I trust that all is well with her. Thanks for responding.

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3. 76

   LadyFiddlerposted 9 months ago

   Hi or okay, thanks. She use to write here. I hope she is okay, its not like she'd ignore my emails.

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4. 76

   LadyFiddlerposted 9 months ago

   I hope so to

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      Nell Roseposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Hi, I haven't seen her here for a long time. i hope she is okay too

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5. 97

   PaulGoodman67posted 9 months ago

   It's the problem with internet or lost-distance friends, they can suddenly just disappear sometimes. Usually, it's a bad sign but not always.
   
   I have an old friend in England who went from having a fairly large web presence to nothing. He was an archaeologist so his working life was always well-documented online. When I write to his old email addresses, there are no replies.
   
   I assume the worst but who knows?

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      Jan Stepanposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Building continuous, trustful, and meaningful connections over the internet is very challenging. I've also seen people vanish out of the blue, and it's never a nice feeling since you never really know why.
      
      Also, many in my generation don't find it weird to just cut the contact and ghost each other – without giving a single damn about it... But I suppose it's not what happened to you.

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         PaulGoodman67posted 9 months agoin reply to this

         Yes, ghosting's a thing but I'm not seeing it in this case. You tend to realize that you've been ghosted (eventually), particularly if the person has a big online footprint. You tend to see that they're still active online, it's just not with you.
         
         I think what we're talking about in this case is when someone has a lot of online activity and then it suddenly stops and it's accompanied by not answering emails and messages. The cause is often ill-health or death in my experience.
         
         Of course, it can be due to some radical lifestyle change too. That depends on the person, I guess, but I suspect that it's less likely for people who have a history of being active online. Particularly, if their working life (and I include writing) includes an online presence.
         
         My archaeologist friend worked in the profession for over thirty years and it was very much his life. It's unlikely to me that he would just walk away from it. He wasn't just not replying to emails, his email address no longer worked, stopped being listed by the university, and he didn't appear to be working anywhere else.
         
         What's particularly concerning about Jackie Lynnley is not just the non-replies to emails and lack of HP activity but that her Facebook page has also disappeared.
         
         Ancestry.com is a good place for checking whether or not someone has died but unfortunately, it doesn't list relatively recent deaths.
         
         Age does play a role too. Ghosting or lifestyle change are perhaps more likely for younger people but ill-health and death become greater possibilities with age.
         
         Of course, there are a multitude of other potential explanations like mental health crises, hiding from stalkers, addiction, etc.

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         Kenna McHughposted 9 months agoin reply to this

         Jean, My daughter agrees with you. She's probably closer to your generation than I am. Then, after months or a year, she'll get a text. Is this still your phone number? Crazy!

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            Jan Stepanposted 9 months agoin reply to this

            Yes, it's a huge issue. That's why the young generations are so depressed and struggling with mental disorders. We have more platforms for social interactions than ever, yet the loneliness people feel keeps increasing.
            
            A part of that has to do, quite ironically, with the many choices those platforms offer. You can start talking to anybody at any time at, for instance, Discord – the issue is that everybody thinks there's always someone better to talk to, and thus they cut contact sooner or later.
            
            Arguments or any so-called "drama" ends with people blocking each other and leaving servers, mainly because it's so easy. It's so "easy" to go elsewhere and start communicating with new people. It's a never-ending spiral fundamentally leading to loneliness because it doesn't lead to more than short-term connections you know will end at some point.

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               Kenna McHughposted 9 months agoin reply to this

               Jan, Yes. There is trauma and stress. Let's hope these young folks find actual help without psychotropic influence.

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               PaulGoodman67posted 9 months agoin reply to this

               To be honest, I've been both the ghoster and ghostee in the past.
               
               Sometimes, it's better just to sever ties, rather than get into any extended or pointless arguments.
               
               While I do it sparingly, there have been situations where I've come to the conclusion that someone is either disturbed or an a-hole and there's no value in continuing communications.
               
               I block people much more readily nowadays on social media than I used to. If conversations start getting toxic or uncomfortable, it can be the best course of action.
               
               I'm not saying that it's always the best thing to do, just that it's not always bad.
               
               My sense is that ghosting is not an issue with Jackie Lynnley, though.

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                  Jan Stepanposted 9 months agoin reply to this

                  Yes, from what you wrote above, I am sure you haven't been ghosted by your friend Jackie.
                  
                  About blocking and ghosting. Of course, if there's a proper reason to block someone, it's definitely in place. I've also blocked countless people because of their respectless behavior towards me, but I was referring to something else here.
                  
                  I am a part of a Discord server where I've been for years. I can see a pattern of people joining, being excited and super chatty and social, then losing interest and leaving without explaining. The same goes for private chats. People get tired of each other fast, which isn't beneficial when you want to build long-lasting connections.
                  
                  People also avoid conflicts at all costs. If one starts to argue about something, they take it personally and see it as a reason for ending the conversation rather than learning that we can, with respect and dignity, agree to disagree on some things without it having to end our friendship.

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                  1. 97

                     PaulGoodman67posted 9 months agoin reply to this

                     I wouldn't describe myself as a friend of Jackie. People suddenly disappearing can be intriguing, though. If someone is active and social online and uses the same moniker that you're familiar with, they usually aren't that hard to track down. "Lynnley" is also an uncommon name.
                     
                     I'm very active online and I think I've developed a thick skin over the years. However, I wouldn't disagree with your general thrust that people and societies are becoming more fragmented.
                     
                     Digitalization has made it very easy for people to cut themselves off and it's not necessarily healthy. There can be something beneficial about being forced to rub along with others who maybe don't share your sensibilities or worldview.
                     
                     Nowadays, you can work from home, get your meals left outside your door, and do most things online without any personal contact. It's leading to a more atomized society. Given that, it's perhaps not surprising that some people behave as they do online.
                     
                     It's ironic, as in the early days of the web, many of us thought that it would lead to a warmer and more socially connected world. In some ways, that's happened, but in others, we're more isolated than ever.

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   alexadryposted 9 months ago

   I searched for her latest post here and it was 5 months ago. It was a post about low earnings, so it could be she is just exploring other writing opportunities. I hope she's OK!

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