There is a cricket in my house the size of a Monster. I am scared! He/she was in my bathroom at 2:00 am this morning. I put on my shoes and got the broom and attacked. It has quite high jumping capacity, oh my!! After a good fight, I lost sight of it but somehow thought he won the battle. Gave up and went to bed!
I got up this morning to make coffee and it was in my kitchen. I put on my shoes and chased it again. It went into the closet. I thought good, maybe it will suffocate. In case it came out (oh crap someone's at the door brb.). (peeking outside, phheeeew, it's just a guy in a brown suit, good he can leave the package - I'm not going downstairs with the Monster) (2nd thought maybe I should have let him in. Guys like Monsters, right?) But anyway, I left the backdoor open incase it came out of the closet, I thought he might be smart enough to jump outside but NOOOOOOO!
I just went downstairs to have some lunch and I came face to face with the Monster in my pantry. This time I ran. Help! What do I do now?
They are very tasty dipped in chocolate. I prefer dark chocolate myself, but any will do.
Oh Mark, thanks for coming to my rescue. Maybe that is a good idea, I am HUNGRY and I do love chocolate but I've got to catch it before I can eat it. You flunk Mark, I need more help!
Throw a net curtain over it?
I usually try and trap them with a glass, because my wife is terrified of "crunchy" bugs.
My husband just called me from work to let me know he will be stopping by for lunch because he has to travel this way to go to the bank. I told him about the Monster in the pantry. (Maybe this is why I've stayed married to him for 25 years. He ALWAYS comes to my rescue!!!! Maybe this is the secret to longevity to marriage.) Who could ask for anything more. Thanks Mark for your suggestion but I think I'll leave this one for him. Mark, I think you should do a hub on "Tasty Crickets Dipped in Chocolate". Thanks again for your quick response.
Update on the Monster: Husband came home. Cricket was sitting at the back door. Hubby kicked him out! He's now Born Free!
I hate bugs. If there's a cricket in my house that big and I can't kill it easily, I'll set the house on fire.
In Israel we have yucky crickets but even worse are the things we call JUKEEM. They are the biggest,scariest, hairiest cockroaches you ever saw in your whole life. Some even fly!! Disguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusting.
Last week as I was coming downstairs from my office, I saw one crossing the livingroom floor. I screamed and everyone else laughed and ran into their bedrooms. INCLUDING my hero husband. He was shaking in the bedroom, shouting orders- Get it, Get it!!!
Left to my own devices, I battled it out with this scary, creepy, ugly creature and squished it outside with a broom. But it turned around, stood up on its hind legs and charged for me!!!
I ran like a speeding bullet back into the house and slammed the door. It crawled under the door and headed straight for me.
To make a long story short, the whole family has been locked up on bedrooms while this cockroach rules the house. WELL almost. I don't know where it is either.
I can totally identify with you...
Be glad you don't have to live with wasps. Even with the doors and windows closed the wasps will find their way inside. But I have learned to live with them, and I have also learned to live with wasps landing in my eye, or landing on top of my head, or laying beside me when I sleep, watching me type on the computer and then flying towards the screen, but I haven't been stung yet. I even pet one. Okay...something is really wrong here...Why are they not stinging me?? I think I might make a great bee farmer.
<shudder!!!!!!!> This would be my worst nightmare come true! I am phobically afraid of wasps, hornets, bees....any stinging flying insect. It would be a mercy to die rather than have those things co-habitate with me.
On the other hand, Dottie - I love crickets!! Not to eat, mind you, but I love listening to them.
Shirley, I know this is hard to believe, but it's true, and you believe in me. (right?)
Anyway, at 12:30 a.m. early Thursday morning I was finishing reading a hub (Welcome to My World Said the Spider - Part I) and decided I needed some sleep. Walking through the kitchen I saw another cricket. I didn't panic this time. I got the broom and tried guiding it about 15' to the backdoor. After cricket hopped twice with me guiding it, it jumped onto the broom and I rode it out the back door!
The night was cool, no air conditioners on, so it was very quiet here, and I peacefully fell asleep with the orchestra of singing crickets outside my bedroom window. I love crickets now. I think I'm cured.
You rode the broom out the door? Geesh, why were you selling the house to raise airfare?
There is absolutely nothing that will lull you to sleep better than crickets singing. I just love it, it's so peaceful.
Glad you are okay with them now, Dottie.
Shirley, you ask why was I selling the house to raise airfare???? You know why Shirley. For the same reason you were selling your liver. We had to do what we had to do for such an important and worthwhile cause.
Crickets are our friends. . . maybe our conscience. Remember Jimminy Cricket? Maybe you just have a guilty secret that needs to be stomped out.
In some countries crickets are kept as pets-- Yes, I know the look a little too much like cockroaches-- but that is not their fault.
Learn to embrace your fears and let your conscience be your guide.
I will embrace the first cricket that sings to me, in English, like Jimminy did. Until then, the the shoes still fly or the house still burns. End of story.
Karen, you probably need to torch your place too. Maybe get a flamethrower or something. A cockroach like that might be big enough to work the fire extiguisher in the kitchen if you just, you know, set the place on fire regular like. Flamethrower is the safest bet and probably the only way to go.
I usually simply ask them to leave and point to the chocolate sauce as a hint what will happen if they refuse. I find dry roasting them first is best.
I'm ok with crickets, but I'm terrified of spiders. I point them out to Vivi and she eats them... problem is, she can only see them when they're moving, so I sometimes have to blow on them to get them to scurry.
She gets pretty excited about it all. All you have to do is say, "Vivi, bug!" and she starts looking around frantically, ears perked, trying to figure out where it is so she can munch it up.
The only crawling thing I don't like much is the scorpion. When a friend lived in Texas, she said they squeezed in under her kitchen door every night and the first thing she had to do each morning was sweep them out. Don't know why she didn't fix the door.
Now daddy-longlegs -- those are cute.
Daddy longlegs have a cute endearing name but they are not so benign and delicate as their name implies.
Scorpions love to crawl into shoes, Shake out your footwear before insertng toes.
Send me your crickets. I will gladly exchange for any scorpions and roaches.
I think maybe you should get hold of Mighty Hunter. He will be able to tell you how to get rid of those nasty creatures.
Check out his profile picture.
Crickets, roaches, spiders, etc. I hate 'em all!
We have these terrible things in NC called cave crickets. UGLY! And they jump as high as I am tall - maybe more! Thank God I haven't seen one since we move into this house. I loved our basement in the old house except for the crickets. There were times I simply could not get the laundry done because a cave cricket blocked my way down the basement stairs.
Oh, and for the record, Grandaddy Longlegs are NOT cute.
This seems like an appropriate thread for me to share my very low traffic hub about another NC favorite, the wolf spider. Maddie, if you snip my link for being self-promotional, well, I'll get over it :-)
I have a solution for all you "bug-haters" bring in a lizard like a bearded dragon... my babies get rid of any bug that even dares to walk into their territory.
You guys are all seriously F U N N Y with all your bug stories. They made me seriously laugh!!!
I love cricket choirs. Sounds like yours came from the bass section!
Cockroaches, now ... I grew up in Hawaii. Those guys'd come in and walk off with your TV and your beer!
I hope you have managed to deal with mr Jimmy!! and be careful if you decide to set it on fire! The reason why i say this is, this guy had a mouse in his house, that ran out in the yard and he still set it on fire while in bhis yard, and then the mouse ran back in the house and set it all on fire!!
and as Rochelle Frank wrote:
"Crickets are our friends. . . maybe our conscience. Remember Jimminy Cricket? Maybe you just have a guilty secret that needs to be stomped out.
In some countries crickets are kept as pets-- Yes, I know the look a little too much like cockroaches-- but that is not their fault"
I tottaly agree!
and like Maddie, when i see a bug, i whisper the word "parasites" very loudly and kitty knows exactly what i mean and what to do! I cant bare to listen to the crunch OR watch!! i have, like the majority of us a serious case of spiderphobia!
Something screwing is happening here!!! Sorry, Compu-smart. It looks like some of my comments is something you said. Well anyway no one else will understand this except me and you. You know what u said and I know what i said but your going to get the blame. Something weird is happening with these postings and I can't fix it. Sorry!
Immediate Correction. That is Screwy!!! I hope you don't get blamed for this compu-smart! It's all my fault.
Dottie, Its my fault! really! it had nothing at all to do with you! lol and having mice, squirrels, and snake's in your house tell me you should be starting a pet business!! reallly! lol
2-Shadesbreath, Your comment has made me I has made me want to see this film too! when i get free time to sit out a full movie! which will be next year! Any film thats been rated hillarious has to be viewed!
Compusmart, your burning mouse story reminds me of that movie Mouse Hunt. That movie was hilarious. I think I might watch it today just because if this thread, lol.
Oh, and Marian Swift, you are NOT lying about those Hawaiian cockroaches. I was there one time and had gotten up early in the morning and gone down to the hotel lobby. All the lobby shops were closed still, with their sliding shop-cover doors slid round to conceal the merchandise within, making kind of a gantlat to walk through in the fashion of buttoned up mall. So I'm walking down this long row of sealed off shops, it's a bit dark, but light enough to see the patterns on the carpet and read the tour posters on the wall if you look close enough. Well, I'm going along and all of a sudden I feel something hit me on the thigh. Not hard, but kind of heavy, as if someone had tossed a tennis ball at me or something. I looked down and there it was, freakin' Cockroachzilla, big as a twinkie, coffee brown and clinging to my shorts like one of those baby monkeys on its mother's back. I'm not sure if I screamed like a school girl or not, but I batted it off with a spastic, jerking backhand and, admittedly, probably leapt about a bit as if suddenly I were standing barefoot on some red hot coals. Eventually I reclaimed my masculinity, however, and I went bravely back upstairs to my room. To this day I have no idea what I'd gone down there for. I called down to the concierge and recommended that they evacuate everyone immediately and burn the hotel down, but he said I was a stupid haole and that I should "grow a pair."
(Ok, the last sentence might not be true, but the rest was.)
Thanks for the cautionary tale, Compu-Smart.! Gotta admit, the thought of torching pests had never crossed my mind. Now it never will.
Dottie, did Jiminy go away?
(Hawaiian cockroaches are everywhere on the islands. Open up a closet, and you may just discover a shiny brown carpet wriggling on the floor. It's not a cleanliness thing, either. They love soap, and will eat labels off your cleaning supplies. And still, they stink. Ahhhhh, Paradise!)
Recently my adult daughter had a cricket in her bedroom, only she couldn't find it. For several hours she tore her room apart looking behind and under things to get rid of the noisy cricket. She eventually broke down and used bug spray in all the dark places she couldn't reach. Still the cricket racket continued.
Nearing bedtime, and nearly frantic that she'd be sleeping in the same room with the offending cricket, she decided the pest must be outside her bedroom window. Out she went in the dark, bug spray in hand and sprayed every plant and the window crevices. Still her cricket was apparently alive.
She was way over the top angry that nothing to rid herself of this insect had worked and stomped off to bed, certain she'd never get any sleep. About an hour later, she came into the livingroom and quite red-faced said to my husband, "Here take "your" cricket."
He protested, "It's not mine!"
She insisted, plopping it in his lap.
Turned out her "cricket" was one of his old travel alarm clocks!
jerilee that is pretty funny. I hope your daughter didn't throw the clock at your husband. That would hurt more than a cricket.
Hi Oxy, it is funny isn't it. I'm sorry but I cannot call you a moron!!!!!
I just can't understand what is happening to me in the past 3 days. It seems now that the BUSH bug is after me. I've just incurred a HubScore penalty on my latest hub from the Bugger!!!!
I've done more apologizing on this thread than I've had to do in my life time. All because of a bug. I really think it is time for Rochelle to write another children's book. This time on bugs. What do you say Rochelle!!!! Maybe you can explain to us in child like language what all this bug stuff is!
I have been sent a Shazam spell to make all my bad luck turn good which has worked so far so goos so sit down and hold tighy while i say the magic spelll
SHAZAM!!, all your troubles and crickets will be gone!
Hi Dottie, I feel for you. I've had my fair share with critters.........ready for these? I've had a bat in my bedroom that woke me up whooshing by my head in the middle of the night. I got under the covers in the middle of August and it was like 100 degrees outside and stuck my hand out to feel for the phone. I finally got the phone and called my Dad at 3am and told him what was going on, know what he did? Laughed so hard he couldn't talk! Then I got to laughing and finally my now ex-husband got out of bed and put on his motorcycle helmet and chased it down. It flew into a box and he took it outside and shook the box and it flew off. GROSS!
While living in Florida, I've had a lizard in my kitchen sink, a green tree frog mounted on the inside of my front door (my stepson tried to get it for me and it jumped from the door and landed on his forehead and just sat there! He screamed and dove to the floor and the frog went happily jumping behind the furniture until he was finally able to catch it), also have had a scorpion, yes a SCORPION, in my bedroom on the ceiling right above my son's crib. My (ex)husband was out of state working so I had to deal with this one on my own. I moved the crib and knocked the scorpion on the floor and sprayed it with every chemical/cleaner I could find in the house. Nothing would kill it, finally I rolled the crib rollers over and over and over it until it died. EEW, gives me the willies just thinking about it now. Then, I've had a spider the size of a baseball in my bedroom, I swear to you, it was that big. WHAT IS IT WITH MY BEDROOM??? My (ex)husband even admitted it was a big one. He chased it with bug spray and it was like the Energizer Bunny on speed. He hit it about 3 times with a magazine before it finally gave up. Last straw was all the snakes in my yard and when a rattlesnake got run over right in front of my house, I suggested we move!
NC has been much better, only had a loose gerbil about give me a heart attack, yes once again, in my bedroom! People wonder why I sleep on the couch sometimes!
I'm so glad your cricket friend is gone. Every cricket you hear singing, you'll be asking yourself if that is the one? lol Take care!! Kim
What a shivering story Best Choice. I would have moved to NC too!! I know about all the bugs in FL, my parents are from there. Last I heard they were watching for hurricane. Bugs not a threat right now for them! I must go now and turn on the weather channel and help them watch!
I understand completely, as I have crickets who rule my house, since 1000 are shipped to my home every two weeks for my bearded dragon Tryxi! If she doesn't eat them right away, they escape from the holes in the light fixture.
I hate the chirping--drives me nuts! I used to freak out, but now I just say, "Oh, it's a cricket, better catch it for Tryxi..."
Glad your problem has been taken care of.
lol My son's bearded dragon is one of the great ironies of my life. I pay 35 bucks a month for a pest control company to come keep my house free of crickets and the other alien creatures known as "bugs." Then my wife takes the boy to the pet store every week or so to bring a whole bag of crickets directly into the house where they are stored two doors down from MY BEDROOM.
I like the sound of crickets out in the field, far from me. I hate the sound of them twenty feet away. I just know I'm going to wake up some night with one of them crawling on my lips (again). /sigh
Creepy crawley things such as spiders, crickets, wasps, hornets and scorpions are not my cup of tea, even if they're dipped in chocolate. But there's nothing worse than the dreaded thousand-legger, a very scary centipede.
Years ago my father was awakened in the middle of the night when one of those "things" found its way into his ear canal. As you can imagine, the scene was pure panic as my mother diligently dug into my dad's ear for half an hour slowly extracting the monster one leg at a time. After witnessing that awful thousand-legger scene, crickets look to me like pussycats. I say: Bring 'em on!
omg -that happened to a friend of mine with a little cockroach in the tropics while he was sleeping. It was too small to safely extricate and it still there the next morning! They tried syringing water into his ear to drown it and flush it out and that worked. It gives me nightmares thinking about it! Your dad- what a hero for putting up with it. If water doesn't work, the best thing is oil which will suffocate them. Then, drain ear!
Lol :-) I am with Misha, the kids love any kind of bugs, insects and worms. Good Luck. :-)
I couldnt swallow my chips reading your posts.(still trying) Crickets in the ear canal,kids loving bugs and worms. you people are really joking right?
Actually I am dead serious - kids love to play with insects.
I always knew Shirley was a witch, didn't suspect Dottie was too. Good, witches are fun to deal with!
Kids really do love playing with insects. Don't you remember? We were kids once too!
Misha, Shirley will have to come clean now thanks to you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. With two of us around now, how will you know which witch is which?
Well, it's true about kids. I even liked bugs when I was a kid. But, then I got older and came to my senses.
Okay, Dottie....you rode your broom out the kitchen door, ergo you could ride it to the U.K. Get it? Huh?
Mr. Furry Pants, I will definitely take your advice into consideration and consider selling a kidney rather my liver. After all, I have a spare.
Got it loud and clear Shirl. LOL. Here, this is just for you.
I AM A WITCH AND I CAN RIDE MY BROOM TO THE UK!!!!
They were both beautiful and sweet, so you're good either way!
I'm good either way??? One of them is you my pretty!
ok, you are Samantha and I am Glinda! (Don't you have a cousin Glinda? I have a cousin Shirley)
I have a sister-in-law Glynis...practically the same thing.
Wow, I'm one those witches....totally missed that, duh! Perhaps another cuppa java would be a good idea.
If you're interested, I happen to have some flying monkeys. They're cute as heck, and they have a million uses! They're not just for wicked witches anymore.
Flying monkeys, how fun!!!
Why aren't I surprised?
You are welcome to them. I just need to keep one, for transportation purposes. rmr has been hiding his car keys lately.
Can't say that I blame him.
Thx for the monkees....how much do I owe you for them? Will you be boxing them up and shipping them, or will they fly a straight line here without taking a left at the border?
They can fly there. They know the way, quite well.
Hmmm.....maybe it wasn't jackalope droppings in the basement, after all!
How do they know the way if they've never been here before, huh?
I was considering "requesting" a hub titled "How to sell my Organs safetly and legally" but seeing as your now a witch! lol im wondering if theres enough room on your broom for you AND Shirley! to come over for some tea and crumpets!
Compu-smart I would go ahead with your request. The research has already been done and will be a golden opportunity for Shirley to write when she returns from ???? I think she may be here somewhere in the U.S. on a free vacation from a spleen rental. I sure hope she doesn't forget to pick it up on her return!
There is plenty of room for Shirley on the broom. So we will take you up on the tea and crumpet offer. I did find this unanswered concern of Shirley's in her Beatle Hub. Here it is cut and pasted to you from Shirley!
"Tea & crumpets? How very British! Do we have to hold our pinkies out while we drink the tea? Will the Queen be joining us? I LOVE crumpets....butter oozing out the little holes....yum! Can I please have herbal tea? The regular stuff upsets my stomach."
I'm hoping she has a sidecar so I won't fall off. It's a long trip!
I hear someone complain about crickets. Maybe you should try rats. Educated rats! They won't eat anything poisoned, won't get into a mouse trap. And know just how to dodge your attacks, but I know just how to show them that I am smarter. I simply make a bowl of crayfish sauce pour some on the floor, lie on the bed and wait with my club--this usually tales place by 2-3 a.m--once i spot one sniffing, whambam, and it is dead. I actually killed four on one night. Incase you are wondering we moved into an old house recently. So we are contending ants, rats and cockroaches. I don't mind the rats, but roaches are, well, what's an appropriate word, disaster? creation mistake?. I know a friend who loves eating crickets, says they're delicious. People here in Africa even eat grilled millipede, howz dat? :-)
I have so enjoyed all of your insect stories! Is everyone truly afraid of these beings? Personally, I happen to like most insects and spiders and snakes and lizzards. I DO have a fear of scorpions as I live pretty close to Louisianna and there are poison ones there. I have an agreement with snakes. I always know they are there before I make the mistake of scaring one into biting me. Scorpions are attracted by electricity and love to live under rocks and lumber piles. They will actually line up in a row in front of the tv if you leave it on at night while all the other lights are out. The rest of the insects are a piece of cake if one pays attention.
The wasps that don't sting are dirtdobbers. They come in shiny blue/black or red w/black tails that do look like stinging wasps. Dirt dobbers make mud nests and catch spiders and ants and other insects to poke up into those nests for their babies to eat when they hatch. The black ones like to live in the house with you.
I don't kill spiders. They eat bugs. I pick them up with a broom or stick if I have to and take them outside...they are also good for telling one what the weather will be like. I love to watch and feed those giant garden spiders...they make terrific hands off pets.
Daddy longlegs is not a spider and are among the most poisonous creatures in the universe, however, they cannot bite people and they drown in a small puddle of water. They eat bugs.
Rats are terrible and smart. If they cannot find food in your house, they will sneak in while you sleep and eat tiny pieces of skin off of your exposed arms and legs. They have been known to eat the fingers and toes off young babies. yyyaaackk! Beatng them to death isn't
an over reaction!
But of all these horrors, there is only one animal in the world that makes me so fearful that I would burn the house down...and the Hopi Indians agree with me. A mouse is the most dangerous animal in the world, on a social scale. It carries diseases that can transmutate into human diseases. If you have rats...get cats and dachshunds. If you have mice..by all means, burn your house and your clothes and anything it might have touched.....
I know, I know, not funny.....=o(
I hate the way crickets jump TOWARD you - anyone know why they do that or did I miss that in a thread somewhere?
by emievil7 years ago
Okay, so it's not actually as drastic as what the subject says but I do need some help and will really appreciate some serious answers here.As the current head of our local association here for accountants, I've been...
by kmackey327 years ago
First Brionna has to have sergury to drain the fluid from her brain. Spinal taps have stoped working, eithor a blood clot or scar tissue has stopped this procedure from working any longer. The questions are, Do they...
by Mark Ewbie4 years ago
Hi Guys.Normally I am fairly sure of where I am at in terms of delivering my brand of content.This is the second or third time in a couple of weeks I have failed to get pass the QAP test.Please tell me what is wrong...
by jessdoit9 years ago
I have had to throw out 2 beds because my Cats urinating on them and I can not get the smell out of the mattress. If anyone knows how to make cats stop doing this, Please Help.These cats are house trained to go outside....
by Inspirepub9 years ago
I was just tooling around in Analytics with my husband, and we noticed that 24 people have arrived at my Hubs after typing "steelhead trout recipes" into Yahoo Search.I do not have a single Hub on recipes of...
by Sondra Rochelle5 years ago
Please help me to understand why these hubs came out of "idle" then were put right back in within a day.I have changed the titles and a small amount of wording, but can't figure out what's wrong here and have...
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.