I think we talked about this before somewhere, but I just found one I had to share about dog training:
"2.) Bottom ward – aloof like #1, this additionally requires an brusque accent for the dog to be about bottom ward aback its elbows (front feet) and hocks (rear legs) are affecting the arena or floor. "
Also from the same person, about raising ducks:
"When a duckling is at the date breadth they would now be alive beneath a autist or a hen, you should ensure that they accept quick admission to aliment and apple-pie bubble water, to do this, you will charge appropriate feeders and a baptize basin."
I don't have a clue what any of that means. I am not sure it even means anything.
Now, would that be an autistic or artistic hen, duckling, or dog - and does the admission involve going to a movie or a hospital (n a brusque accent, of course)? Other than that, I'd think these are written in excellent English (although it's clear they're aimed at readers who are familiar with apple-pie bubble water (which, I have to admit, I'm not). (And who's getting baptized with dates, bottom-ward, and apple pie, by the way? (Ducks, hens, or aliments? I was just wondering..)
And what's wrong with these fine quotes exactly?
They may be fine for small giraffes, but my dog doesn't understand the command-- she thinks it means "cock your head and look quizzically at your mistress".
The other one has me a bit worried about having unbaptized ducks.
Oh My Word! Are you kidding me? Really?
Copied and pasted. I couldn't make this up.
No one could make that up! Even a good writer such as yourself.
That is riotously funny!
This is one good reason to hub-hop, before these gems disappear.
The mistranslations are a riot.
yes, entirely understood! nothing wrong with that translation! only question I have is: how do I know WHEN to BAKE the apple pie?
It means someone is trying to use software to spin or translate text.
Wow, apple pie bubble water...I'm in!
I have ducks and have never given them apple pie anything-- I think they are spoiled enough. Perhaps they would repent if they were baptised?
I've pondered all the possible concepts associated with apple-pie-bubble water, and I keep coming back to the same image: A dirty pie plate that someone left soaking in a sink - filled with water and suds from dish detergent. But, even with that conclusion - who or what's getting baptized? The hen, the duck, the dog - or what?
The ducks, I think, because he mentions the baptismal basins a few times. I know that cats refuse to be baptized. Ducks? Maybe, but I kind of thought they took care of that themselves.
There's funny, and then there's awe-inspiringly, breathtakingly awful - like this. I think this could be the beginnings of a new language: Twilight-Zonian.
I wish it were worth the time to try to translate - it could be a useful exercise. Unfortunately, it doesn't deserve even a second's worth of mental energy.
If that gets any clicks, then.... Oh, man, the internet can sure be discouraging at times, can't it?
But that's just it, Aficionada, I have read some horrific spun stuff on here and people have commented, saying "Great hub!" or "Wonderful advice!" And I'm hitting FLAG! Are they paying people to come in and click and comment...it sure seems that way!
Iddn'it the truth!
This is where the real value of sock puppets shows up - forget controversial posting in the forums. Just use multiple sock puppet accounts to boost one's own worthless hubs. Or maybe they have some kind of under-the-table exchange with their friends' sock puppets?
THAT's what I should call the new language: Sock-puppish.
@Rochelle and Lisa - maybe the apple pie is a reward for the cats, if they submit to baptizification?
I would love to see someone try and follow those hubs to the letter. There would be some very confused ducks, and dogs...
What is funny is when people write hubs like this and comment on their own hub that it is a great article
"great' can have many connotations. I thought they were great fun, though they have been removed. His others, that are not nearly as entertaining, are duplicate content.
Apple pie bubble water evokes for me a warm, cinnamon+apple-scented bubble bath, to be enjoyed while sipping a glass of very high quality cider.
That sounds nice (don't tell my ducks)-- and better than having sticky pie dishes, with pieces of crust on them, in the tub.
Ummm...my thoughts exactly, exactly except minus the ducks and dogs and cats...can get waaay too crowded in there!
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s … google.com
One of the hubs in question. I think it got unpublished for having a pixelated image right at the top.
Hmm. I continue to remain confused, but maybe it's just because I don't know dog-training terminology. I don't have a clue about to alpha on the basal commands (and apparently, basal commands are a pretty important thing). All I know is my late, sweetie, dog was a great dog - no basal or alpha whatever was ever used on on him. (Good thing they picked up on that iffy, pixelated, image, though... )
Yep, that pixellated image was bad.
Meanwhile, we had stuff like
"Accord – a command teaching the dog to be generous, and/or absolution article your pet has placed in his aperture on your hand."
Now I absolutely did not know that. I have never said "accord" to my dog. That is where I've been going wrong.
It teaches the dog to be generous!! Wow, didn't know dogs could do that.
I really don't approve of people letting the dog place something from his aperture on their hand.
I just hope nobody is baptizing any apertures with apple-pie bubble water. That's just not right (I mean the apple-pie part, of course).
I'm not sure how you can leave your aperture "behind"
And not for saying things like:
"Attack – if partnered with the command "Growl", you (the owner) will be the baron of your neighborhood, admitting mostly acclimated abandoned on Badge Dogs. Common commands are either "Attack" or "Sick'em"."
I've always wanted to be the baron of my neigbourhood. "This is MY manor, awwight!"
re: birth of the duck - after we have the bubbly in place, do we let the baby duck learn to swim in it? or do we drink it? Or both?
I think it would be cruel and unusual to drink baby ducks.
A new seasonal brew by Samuel Adams...Baby Duck Apple Pie Bubble Water...perfect for fall!
Seasonal? Baby ducks come in the spring-- which does make me wonder about the apple pie, again.
Hmmmm...baby ducks in spring...apples in the fall...we're back to the baptismal basin idea again.
Yes, the basin.
You know, we actually have some ducks. We drain their ponds into the garden every week where it is both water and fertilizer. There is no way you should actually baptize anyone with duck pond water unless it is an extreme emergency and everyone is really praying hard.
Also I think it would be ill-advised to let ducks swim in the baptistry, for reasons I have hinted at.
When my kids were little their wading pool (which I'd stood on end) was blown over in the Winter. When I got to it to clean it for use it was full of little catfish. The catfish didn't have apertures as far as I could tell, but you wouldn't want to baptize your dog or your hen in that particular water.
Catfish? or maybe tadpoles? unless you have those walking catfish. And I think all creatures are required to have apertures.
I agree...Duck water is disgusting! Ducks are fun to watch, though, and faithful egg layers, too!
Duck water is disgusting so is the water after a dog bath. I spent time watching ducks but at the time my main concern was how to catch them so I could have a duck dinner. It was important to know their routine so you knew where to set snares. When I was young I was taught never to drink from a duck pond or take a bath in one unless it was the only choice.
When I was very young I was baptized by ducks in their ponds a few times. Old blue (grandmothers dog) always followed me in so she was self baptized. She loved chasing the ducks away after I was soaked. No doubt in my mind some of that apple pie bubble water would have at least made the dog and I smell better, to say nothing of the ducks.
Never had to worry about putting duck eggs under hens, unless the hen just happened to be sitting on my belly. No better place for a duck egg than in the belly. They are prolific enough to survive with without the eggs which were sent there. If I hadn't been stealing eggs though I might not have been baptized as I was.
Emergency baptisms...isn't that the kind they give to condemned prisoners? I would think they would be happy for a little duck baptismal water, even with a little fertilizer thrown in!
Here's another interesting one:
"När du inte har något annat val än att ta ut ett personligt lån för att lösa ett trängande behov av pengar kan det vara väldigt frustrerande att bli nekad"
No use risking a bad translation.
You should not swear like that, Rochelle, it's not nice.
I know better, Home Girl, but maybe I shouldn't quote text like that. Swearing always sounds better in Norwegian-- or whatever that was.
I like it in German best!
German is good-- but too many people understand that. Maybe an Indo-slovakian dialect of Latvian.
Sheesh people, just because you don't understand the terminology doesn't mean its spun. Those of us familiar with the subject of apple pie bubble water understood this article perfectly. No need to report a hub based on your lack of education.
und now everbody is leetle drinkle, no? cuz this hole durn thread don't sound right ta me!
This is one of the rightest threads we have had lately. People are having fun and being creative (Though at the expense of people who don't understand it).
And yes, I do understand that some people may be seriously trying to earn a few pennies to survive-- I appreciate the fact that they are really trying to put themselves out there to earn an honest buck or two, and we should all wish them well.
Just who the fuck doesn't like apple pie bubble water? I demand that persons that do not like apple pie bubble water stand up and be counted this instant!
All my ducks are standing up-- in a row.
Now I'm going to see if they have an internet connection.
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