How Do You Deal With A Narcissist

1. 69

   Arthur Fontesposted 15 years ago

   Have you ever had to deal with someone who really felt that the rest of the world was there to cater to their desires, wants, and needs?  How do you deal with this kind of personality?  Without removing them from your life?

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   1. 59

      h.a.borcichposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        A narcissist is like a vampire - they suck the very life out of you. When you can no longer "supply" them with what they need you will be discarded, even if you co-parent children together.
      If you want to be sane - run FASTER from this person.
      If you are related through children - get a good shrink, you will need it.
      
      Can ya tell I have dealt with one? Holly

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      1. 61

         Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I agree.  Why do you want a blood sucking toxic person in your life?  Unfortunately my fiance and I are "stuck" with his x for life.  She is about as venomous as a person can get.

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         1. 59

            h.a.borcichposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            LOL She must be related to my hubbys ex - it gets real rough. Be careful and know the hell she will bring you is never going to change. Do not expect to reach her for she will only be nice if you have something she wants to take from you. Good luck

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   2. 66

      Daniel Carterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I have an actress/singer friend I've known since she was 5 years old. She is a local celebrity appearing on local TV and productions. She is a true diva. She is widowed by a despicable guy who was nothing more than problems. But because of her beauty and charm, she has an entourage of followers, mostly men. The problem is that if she ever got married again, she would lose her entourage and help. So she "suffers" beautifully as a widow in need.
      
      I tease her and make her laugh at herself, about what a beautiful victim she is, how divine, how admirable. She never knows whether to laugh or slap me.
      
      I think not taking them seriously is one of the better, kinder things you can do. A reality check, with a kinder touch is a good thing in most cases. Sometimes, however, being very direct is in order.

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   3. 61

      DogSiDaedposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A swift shot to the groin?

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2. 72

   Pearldiverposted 15 years ago

   There's old saying; If you can't beat them join them!
   
   Sometimes it's easier to change the world

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   1. 63

      prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      LOL< no use changing them, leave them and let them learn their lessons, usually these [people are self centered too, SELFISH
      
      HI PD-- Mr Rob, how are you doing, enjoying summer?

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3. 86

   rebekahELLEposted 15 years ago

   there are many. if you truly love the person, try to understand what is missing in their life. narcissists feel a need to control.
   you will not change them...
   
   suggest helping someone for the holidays who has nothing, a family in need.
   
   I was once in a relationship with one, eventually we parted as his life was only about him. we were not married.

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   1. 0

      TMinutposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A control issue? I never saw it that way but I know two and it fits. That's one of the issues with my little granddaughter (only on an small  scale and I could see her need for that); the other was my kids' dad. He was a scary case after a while. He never would talk about his childhood, when he finally did after years, my blood ran cold when he switched to third person when talking about anything before a certain age. He switched to "the boy", "the child", "the man's son". He pretty much totally lost his mind after that. Should have helped him keep it buried I guess.

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4. 56

   C.J. Wrightposted 15 years ago

   Boundries. Set appropriate boundries for this relationship. Limit your exposure to a level your comfortable with. If its family, limit it to special occasions. If this is a work relationship, keep it strictly business. Its up to you. You get what you tolerate.

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5. 60

   thirdmilleniumposted 15 years ago

   You act as though you are a bigger narcissist

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6. 73

   torimariposted 15 years ago

   I probably wouldn't give them much notice...they hate that.

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7. 60

   Jane@CMposted 15 years ago

   Ignore! I find these types of people to be unnecessary in my life and choose not to deal with them unless I have to.  Often these people are the loneliest people because they discard those who care for them.

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8. 60

   bojanglesk8posted 15 years ago

   I just ignore those fuckers.

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9. 60

   Implicit Cogitoposted 15 years ago

   Good advice above.
   
   Also, you may want to make sure it's a real narcissist.  A lot of people are using the term as a buzzword without real understanding of what it means.  If the person in question isn't actually narcissistic, using some of the above solutions may likely backfire.

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10. 58

    wesleyacarterposted 15 years ago

    narcissicm is a self-induced, self-sustaining poison.
    
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    to forsake this person from your life would not be ethical, unless this person is determined to make you carry dead weight. If it is an issue of self-awareness, then at least that much is needed.
    
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    it is narcissistic to think this person's aim is to drain you.
    
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    narcissism is not a form of control, per se. Control of time in regards to self worth is more accurate. Narcissism is about attaching the self to a mode in time, when that person felt most comfortable in their own skin. A narcissistic person is usually stuck in the past. Just as a lazy person is stuck in the present.
    
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    ignorance is not a solution for anything.

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11. 62

    abcd1111posted 15 years ago

    A narcissist is one of the more difficult personalities to deal with.
    
    I wouldn't expect any big changes from one and it is best not to engage them. They do not see things from another perspective. Any discussions with one is a lose/lose proposition.
    
    I suggest moving on.

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