How can one be assertive without sounding arrogant?
How can we teach this to a child?
Quite frequently people get confused about the difference and interpret assertiveness as arrogance when listening. Similarly the communicators become arrogant instead of being assertive. This is very subtle and tricky.For the child this can be even more confusing. How to differentiate and communicate the difference clearly?
This isn't a magic bullet, but when I want to make an effort not to seem arrogant (and I've been told that I sometimes come across that way) I start out by saying something like, "Here's what I think:" Then I say what I think. Then I ask something like, "What's your opinion on that?"
In theory, this lets the other person know that 1) I'm only voicing my own ideas, not claiming to have The Answer(TM) and 2) I value their ideas as well. It's worked okay for me, or at least, nobody has called me arrogant to my face lately. :-)
Also, I'd recommend that you do your best never to interrupt someone else while they're in the middle of a sentence. That's one of the best ways to seem arrogant that I can think of.
Very nice question and Jeff has already answered nicely . I think the trick is to be polite and yet firm. when one is expressing a different opinion or disagreeing with someone , not to display the body language of defiance. Be careful not to raise voice or frown. If possible keep smiling even when one is cutting the argument of the other person. Be logical and avoid being personal. This should do the job.
Well, the truth behind this delves deep into the fact of human aggression. We all sometimes feel that if someone is being assertive with us they are being "arrogant," or "cruel." In all actuallty most of this is bologne. We need to be able to set our mind and clear the thoughts of being assertive and just projecting our personal belief. Before you can be assertive or arrogant you must remember to keep your cool and maintain a more focused rather than assertive mindset.
I used both assertive and arrogant in my description of Aries people in one of my hubs. An assertive person takes charge, or is bold enough to involve themselves in a discussion, or as a child, to just speak up for herself/himself. An arrogant person is rude, and less polite to the people in the discussion. We need to listen to each other, even as we assert ourselves. So just tell your child that his/her voice should be heard, but not to "drown out" the voices of others, to give them the same consideration. I hope that helps.
It depends on the perception of the perceiver. I think Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama are a case in point. Hillary Clinton is described in not so complimentary terms and described as a being arrogant when she asserts herself. In fact, she had to cry during the 2008 election so we knew she had emotions and wasn't arrogant. Barak Obama was described as assertive at the time. Now, Barak Obama is now being criticized for not being assertive enough. A lot of it has to do with the gender attitudes we have in this country and the roles we assign to people. When men speak up, or voice an opinion, they are being assertive. When a woman does it, she's arrogant. When children do it they are precocious.
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