okay,it seems i created a semi firestorm on the nursing in public,i like creating debate!Here's a new one,children in grocerystores etc..,you know the ones,i have 6 so i am on both sides of it.you know,kids have lost it,mom/dad lost it,what do you do?Or how about the parents who are oblivious to the behavior,letting them roam the toy aisle why they shop.
how would you react if a stranger,even thought they thought they could help,offer your child a lollipop,one mom did when my 2little ones lost it,and i was at the end of my rope,she obviously did'nt know her boundaries and became offened when i explained i do not give lollipops to my kids ,(they were 2 and under a yr.)I do get upset when i see parents berade or smack their kids,depending on the situation,i intervene if the child is in danger,but i to hate when another parent gives me that look.
Adam Walsh (six-year-old son of America's Most Wanted's John Walsh) was kidnapped and murdered because his parents let him go to the toy aisle while they shopped at Sears. That was a long time ago, and people were less aware of dangers than they are now. (John Walsh helped make people more aware of the dangers.) In any case, the toy aisle without a parent nearby shouldn't happen.
When my kids were little, if they were at all small enough to ride in the shopping cart that's what we'd do. I'd have one in the child seat and one in the main part of the carriage (and keep my hand on the carriage at all times, so it wouldn't tip). My eight-year-old was told he had stay right with me, and I didn't have much room for groceries with the two in the carriage. Still, it was better than losing them or having them in everyone else's way or having them running around or sitting down in the middle of the aisles. I'd give the little ones (in the carriage) something to keep busy with (for babies it was as simple as the dry cat food box with a cat face on it; for toddlers it might be a book or little toy brought from home). I'd give them a snack while we shopped. They were happy and entertained. I'd tell them, "We need to get grocery shopping done. Afterward, we'll......" ("let you buy something" or "go for lunch", etc.). I'd be talking to them all, telling them what we needed to get.
I never wanted them to be other people's problems in the store. Today they're grown, and I don't care whose kids "lose it" or do anything else; but I do think people ought to keep their kids right with them in stores. I don't blame little three-year-olds who are wandering aimlessly in my way; and I suppose two eight-year-olds running up the aisles haven't been told any better; but I think parents shouldn't make their kids other people's problems.
Well, I liked all of lisas thoughts , but wanted to add, a few of my own, there comes a point in our lives where we must realize that small children, get cranky, tired, and down right mad. And their best way of dealing with that is usually crying or throwing a tantrum(it seems always in the grocery store this happens to us...lol) I have come to learn, that I no longer care, that people are staring at me, and putting there nose up, or even pointing and saying get your kids under control. (thats a good one, sure lady, I'll just toss him a bone, that should passifie him for a little while....lol)for I know now they either never had kids or beat there bottoms in the grocery stores,threaten them or bribe them. I do none of these and I simply do my shopping (with child in cart) ignore his behavior (because in the end is it really a behavior problem, come on look how we act when we have melt downs and the sad part is we are adults, and should have learned by now how to control our selves. But a mere child, well they are learning from us. Do some of you remember that old saying, do as I say and not as I do. Well I am sorry that you have been missed informed but it should read, do as I do, and all else will be well. My child after a few minutes, calms down, because I never give her the improper attention she wants, and soon the miss hab is over. For older children, well if they haven't learned, that it is sad, but don't give up, for if you keep working at it, and not caving in to there wining, and let them know under no circumstance, are you purchasing them goodies or allowing for improper behavior. When all hell breaks lose, tell them they have one warning, if they choose to keep up the charades that, they will be grounded or what after. Work with it all. And the best thing of all is follow thru, children really do want, the correction, just not all the drama and yelling that usually follows. Good luck, Dee
Lisa and goodfriendiam, you have almost written a manual! Great thoughts!
I was just browsing and thought I'd pop back to this thread to see what, if anything, was going on.
Just thought - a week later - I'd like to add this (after reading goodfriendiam's post): As someone who no longer has little kids with me when I'm shopping, I always kind of hope that parents who have kids having tantrums or otherwise being miserable know that a lot of people (like me) aren't thinking anything of it at all. Any reasonable adult understands that little kids get tired and aren't going to always be happy and smiley.
What I do "have an opinion" about, though, is when it's the parents, themselves, who don't seem to understand that children get frustrated and upset; and that they're not emotionally mature enough to deal with things "graciously". There are the parents who get angry at their child and "talk mean" (we've all heard that deep-down, hate-filled-sounding, voice mothers use as a way of scolding without yelling). Then some parents do the thing where they discreetly hurt their child. Sometimes I'll wonder if that same parent would be a cruel if she weren't worried about what other people are thinking about her. Even if her "excuse" is being too insecure and allowing her children to take the brunt of that insecurity, I do think "points off" to any parent who does that. After all, if we truly love and respect our children we aren't going to be mean to them to "impress" strangers, no matter how insecure we are. I know other adults who feel as I do; and I think a lot of parents of young kids who act up in public may be surprised that it isn't their child or their parenting strangers "judge". What makes a lot of strangers "have an opinion" is when the child acts up and the parent mistreats the child as a result of it.
I do I do I'll buy a copy hehe And yea you and Lisa wrote great thoghts about the topic asked.
I am going to start selling, poopy doo kool aid and I bet crazdwriter you could even convince Donald trump that it is good for him and his customers and he would buy you out lock stock and barrel .....lol
hehehehe okay okay back to the purpose of the forum. Sorry momo6 for changing the forum on ya
OOO I just thought of a story...it just happened a few days ago. made me sad. My husband and I were walking around Lowes just for fun and to see if they have something my husband wants and we saw a dad looking at stuff lol yea I can't remember the things I don't find too intersting. But n-e-ways what made me sad was that his daughter was standing there trying to talk to him, to make him look at something and he TOTALLY ignored her. I was so sad in my opinion.
That is sad, here she was probably politely trying to get his attention and he had no clue, but let her throw a tantrum (that's for you tantrum...lol) and he loses it. go figure... I think I have had one to many drinks tonight. hiccup lol
lol yea the cool thing was she didn't throw a tantrum at all. she was very polite and almost not like a kid almost. YOu know those kind? creepy. n-e-ways you haven't had enough to drink you haven't had one for me yet lmao
Any one of my grandkids would thump me if I ignored them like that! As they should!
HAHAHA that's funny. I actually have a story idea based on something like that. Where a teen wakes up to find he has an unusual gift of where he can pass through tv screens and computer screens. Also he can grab something in the screen and bring it back to him like food and all. lol.
sounds cool if you write it and post it on hub pages let me know (email me)...
hehe nope nope not going to post it here. I want to make it into a book. so you'll have to wait for a few years lol sorry
Hey momo6...seriously I would be upset too if someone was offering my kids something especially a stranger. Instead of glaring and getting offended she should have asked YOU first if it was okay to give them the treat.
Kids and grocery stores? Puleeze! I remember when my oldest daughter was 3 years old. Even back then 20 years ago, I was ever so vigilant. The cranky little princess was unhappy that I wouldn't let her out of the shopping cart's child seat AND that I wouldn't buy her a candy bar. So she waited until we were in the checkout line and screamed in this terribly loud voice, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!" over and over and over again. (Did I forget to mention that she was a smart, cranky little princess?)
Eh hem. After a long talk with the store's security guards and a quick call to my pediatrician (to verify my daughter was who I said she was since I obviously didn't have her birth certificate with me), they let us go. The cranky little princess chuckled all the way home. She stopped chuckling and never did it again when I took away her favorite toys though!
I got a giggle out of this! We easily forget how smart they are at this age to our peril! My 5 year old grandson still loses it occasionally, like a few days ago in the shopping center when he through a great tantrum! First one for a while. As usual some shoppers smiled and remembered, others who had forgotten frowned.... some things remain the same.
Ah, Earnest. The reason why my daughter had to think smarter is because I had already put a stop to tantrums in public. We were in Macy's one day and she just lost it. On the floor, screaming, banging her fists on the ground -- the whole nine yards. So I did what I thought was best. I had a BIGGER tantrum! Yup. I got down on the ground, screamed, banged my fists and everything. You can bet that people thought I was nuts that day, but even my little daughter was horrified and never had a tantrum like that again (at least in public). She just got smarter about her tantrums!
LOL it's the only way to do it. throw a bigger tantrum I wish that I could have been there to see that. lol
You are a legend! Wish I had tried that with my daughter when she was little.
I went to my daughters to babysit this morning early and come back to this very sweet and funny post.
When I arrived I got dragged (little finger hold, very effective!) to the kitchen to make breakfast for the older twin, then was told I was sacked (again!) as grandfather by the younger twin, declared to be a "rough polar bear grandpa by superspiderman (5) then blindfolded and let of to see a surprise by the twins.
All their birthday cards from Sunday stacked on the floor in neat rows.
I asked the younger one why the rest of her room was so untidy, and she told me the bogyman had done it. I told her I thought it was untidy because she and her twin had messed it up.
In storms the other twin hands on hips, rolling Bette Davis eyes and insisting it was the boogy man. I usually know better than to argue with Asha, but forgetting my place as a mere grandfather I said no, it was you and Lauren. She turned on her heel and huffed off returning with pencil and paper. "I will prove it to you" she said. " I will draw him!" then proceeded to do so. I want a lawyer! Help next year they will be as old as superspiderman is now. The scary part is when they come in twos! Double trouble
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