My baby (15 mo) is not attached to any blanket or toy, she is extremely attached

1. 86

   donnaisabellaposted 13 years ago

   My baby (15 mo) is not attached to any blanket or toy, she is extremely attached to me!
   
   Fault my parenting, may be. I have 3 other older children whom I did not have to stay with at home because I had a full time job for all their young lives until the youngest was 3 years old. For this baby, I have had to stay at home with her since she was born, there has not been a single day when we were completely apart save for when I went for a surgical procedure (she was 4 months) and she cried the whole day by the time I returned she was hoarse and sick. Now, I can hardly do anything without her on my lap. I still nurse her because I have done that for each child until they were 2 years.

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2. 96

   peeplesposted 13 years ago

   I am in the same situation with my 13 month old. We just stopped nursing (her doing not mine ) and I am a stay at home mom of 3. I also worked with my first 2 and am fortunate enough to stay home now. She doesn't even let me use the bathroom by myself, no blanki, stuffed animal, or paci. I am not the type to just let her cry unless I really have to. All I can say is time will change things. At least I sure hope they do!

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3. 63

   annescriptsposted 13 years ago

   The fact that she is so bonded to you is fantastic. You offer her love and security-- what a great thing.
   
   What you probably need to start doing is slowly go on short outings without her. Grocery shopping... bank... post office. Just running errands. I don't know who you leave her with, so you'd obviously want to make sure that she was in very safe hands while you're gone. She might scream the whole time you're gone. If that's the case, I'd go a little more often so she can get used to it and not freak out.
   
   When she gets to be between ages 2-3, you can elongate the time away from her from time to time. But seriously- it's too early to worry about stuff way down the road like her not being able to go to college because she wants you with her 24/7.
   
   While you have her so near to you, focus on teaching her to be kind, obedient, and respectful (around age 2 and up). You'll raise a superb daughter.

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4. 69

   glenn wallaceposted 13 years ago

   I agree, time to start actively trying to wean the little one, building up her comfort level with other people, and break her 100 percent dependence on you.
   
   As for not having a comfort object - it might help with the weaning process, but it isn't necessary. Some kids never do fixate on a comfort object. My own son never has (18-months old) despite all our attempts. We eventually gave up, since he seems perfectly well adjusted.

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5. 60

   MickSposted 13 years ago

   OK, that was the epistle, what's the question?

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6. 63

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Babies that age ARE attached to the mothers.  Those who must be placed in daycare have little choice but to adjust; but it's very "standard" for a baby in the age range of a year old ("plus or minus a couple of/few months for some") to be extremely attached (wrong word, because all normal children are "attached" to their mothers, but you now what I mean) to his mother.  In the area of close to a year old (or so) they become aware that they are separate people from their mother.  Still, they're so young they don't really realize that if their mother leaves the room she isn't "gone forever".  That stage can start a few months before a year old, but children can vary a little with regard to exactly when one stage starts and how long they're in one.
   
   (With the one-day when she was four months old, there's a good chance she was just being cared for by someone who wasn't good at keeping her as secure as a baby needs to feel; and there's a chance something was going on where she was that was just frazzling to her (or she couldn't sleep for some reason or was otherwise uncomfortable).  In other words, that one day doesn't particularly mean much in terms of what's going on now.
   
   Besides being not far from a year old, there's the chance that she's a little more likely to seek the safety of your lap when other children are around.  Toddlers that age aren't all that sure on their feet, and they're smaller than all the other children (who are often not all that careful around them), so babies that age can feel most comfortable (at least sometimes, depending on how much activity is around them) being with their mother.
   
   Two is generally the age when children become very aware of wanting to be independent and do their own thing.  Right now, she's still at an age when her Mommy is still very much her world.  It's a great time to keep "growing" that bond, because when she's closer to two and past her second birthday she'll want to do her own thing more.  I found fifteen months old to be among the most challenging time with my toddlers, not because they weren't "easy babies", but because they had a more developed stamina and energy level than earlier, but remained "clueless" in ways an eighteen-month-old or two-year-old isn't.
   
   As for the blankie thing, not all children get all that attached to a transitional object; and even though many do, the age when it's "a big thing" for them can be different from child to child.

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7. 86

   donnaisabellaposted 13 years ago

   MickS, actually it seems I did not ask a question here at all. I am surprised too, but the women (and the men that love them), mothers and fathers that they are as usual decoded my feelings, made the question for me and answered it to my perfect satisfaction. Thanks for for the observation, though. And thanks to all of you for the invaluable input, most gladly received and will go a long way. I feel very relieved and one of my older daughters was so happy she pointed out that I was not the only one! I am so glad.

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8. 73

   sunbun143posted 13 years ago

   Of course you are NOT the only one...I have felt the same as you when my oldest son was that age. I also had to sit in the backseat of the car whenever we went out, so I could keep him from screaming (needless to say, we didn't go out much). But every child is different. I have a newborn now (they're both boys, 22 mths apart) and they couldn't be more different. I hold him a lot but other times he's perfectly happy sitting on his own. It's like night and day!

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9. 60

   Monisajdaposted 13 years ago

   Perfectly normal. Your child is very young and should be attached. Let some forms of attachments continue throughout her early years. As a parent you want your child to be attached to you and not to some other kids who will teach yours how to do things you don't approve. Attached babies grow into attached kids who listen to their parents and not their peers.

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