How do you deal with parents who base their happiness upon yours?
Deal with them? You can no more control their feelings and actions than they can control yours. Just love them for caring and let anything you can't change roll off your back. Reassuring them they're loved and demonstrating you're your own person will begin to show you're all grown up - without any showdowns. A day will come when you will be glad they cared and they'll be sorely missed. Good luck.
Nobody can base their happiness on someone else. Happiness comes from within.
You could talk to them about this if you feel burdened by it. Let them know your perspective on life, nobody expects to be happy every minute, but we can be happy to be on the journey with all its ups and downs.
And be sure to show that you are happy to see them. There is great joy in being loved just for your existence.
Nellieanna has it right. Live your life, reassure them that they are loved and still needed. You might want to try talking to them about getting a hobby. One of these days, you will really wish they were back with you. I sure wish mine were.
Very much relate to this question. My mantra (which has taken years to adopt) is "You can't change them, you can only change your reaction". Determine the trigger statements they make, the "buttons" they push. Make a note of them and at another time, a neutral time, address them with the things that have been weighing on you. Even if it doesn't go well, know that you took the high road and didn't let their pressure shape the kind of person you want to be.
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