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How do you deal with parents who base their happiness upon yours?

  1. LailaK profile image75
    LailaKposted 6 years ago

    How do you deal with parents who base their happiness upon yours?

  2. Nellieanna profile image81
    Nellieannaposted 6 years ago

    Deal with them?  You can no more control their feelings and actions than they can control yours.  Just love them for caring and let anything you can't change roll off your back.  Reassuring them they're loved and demonstrating you're your own person will begin to show you're all grown up - without any showdowns.  A day will come when you will be glad they cared and they'll be sorely missed.  Good luck.

  3. Eliminate Cancer profile image58
    Eliminate Cancerposted 6 years ago

    Nobody can base their happiness on someone else.  Happiness comes from within.

    You could talk to them about this if you feel burdened by it.  Let them know your perspective on life, nobody expects to be happy every minute, but we can be happy to be on the journey with all its ups and downs.

    And be sure to show that you are happy to see them.  There is great joy in being loved just for your existence.

  4. Becky Katz profile image84
    Becky Katzposted 6 years ago

    Nellieanna has it right. Live your life, reassure them that they are loved and still needed. You might want to try talking to them about getting a hobby. One of these days, you will really wish they were back with you. I sure wish mine were.

  5. danajconnelly profile image70
    danajconnellyposted 6 years ago

    Very much relate to this question. My mantra (which has taken years to adopt) is "You can't change them, you can only change your reaction". Determine the trigger statements they make, the "buttons" they push. Make a note of them and at another time, a neutral time, address them with the things that have been weighing on you.  Even if it doesn't go well, know that you took the high road and didn't let their pressure shape the kind of person you want to be.