Do people bully because they are insecure with themselves?

1. 71

   AEvansposted 12 years ago

   Do people bully because they are insecure with themselves?
   
   Why do people really bully? Are they insecure with themselves? Why would others act so viciously? How would they feel if the role were reversed?

   replyreport
2. 60

   Peter Leeperposted 12 years ago

   I think people bully for any number of reasons.  I think it can be a learned behavior based on how they are raised.  I.e. if parents gave into their demands when they were being very pushy, it could manifest into bullying in adolescence.  If a father bullies his mother and gets his way, it could be learned that way too. 
   
   I also think that some kids who are bullies have lives that are out of control and they bully as a form of being able to "control" something.  They know if they threaten and the other kids wimpers, they caused it and can do it again and again.
   
   They are also insecurity and think this is the only way to get attention of "respect/ fear" from anyone.  Bullies are often very frightened people who are acting out to cover up their fear.  In some people this manifests itself in humor.  Humor is what distracts themselves from feeling victimized although they are victimized nonetheless.
   
   In growing up, I witnessed many times that the bullier and bullied grew to be friends as they were older.  It always seemed odd but it happened and evolved into a "normal" relationship.
   
   The unfortunate thing is when the bullied are pushed beyond what they see as the brink and bring themselves to hurt themselves.  It is those times that I hope i have good communication with my son so that if he is ever having trouble, he can talk it through with me and not think he is all alone in his plight.  This stands true if he were the bully too as I would do anything I could to help him find the root of his insecurities and not take them out on others.
   
   Good question!

   replyreport
3. 84

   Melis Annposted 12 years ago

   I believe this is one of the main reasons, but I'm sure it's more complicated than that. I tell this to my kids so they can attempt to understand and not take things personally if they get bullied.

   replyreport
4. 61

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   When I was researching for an article on bullying, I discovered that a common thing for bullies is that they think too highly of themselves and can often have narcissistic leanings.  Bullies are known to be more likely to come from a home where they have experienced or witnessed verbal and/or physical violence.
   
   Basically (and this is just personal opinion here), I think bullies want, need and/or like to be "Number 1" (if not in every situation then at least in the occasional one).  I recently saw some videos by Patricia Evans (known for writing/speaking about verbal abuse).  The subject may not seem to apply to a lot of bullying, but she says things her in videos that really help point out the thinking of people who want to control or undermine others.  She points out how when someone wants to undermine/control someone else, and says something in his attempt to do that; he isn't "seeing a person".  So, as with narcissists, the person doesn't even see someone else as a person (so there's no "what if the shoe were on the other foot" factor.  That would be kind of like saying to someone who pounds a table, "What if the shoe were on the other foot?"
   
   Lack of empathy is responsible for a lot of victimization, and one problem is that empathy is something children learn and have nurtured in their first few years.  I think bullies are just aggressive, egotistical, people who can't control the wish to control or belittle someone else whom they think deserves it.

   replyreport
5. 65

   Sky9106posted 12 years ago

   Bullies are mostly who cannot easily be alone they are not comfortable in their own skins, so they must get some others to distract the direct attention each and ever human receives.
   They are actually cowards. They are the people needing the most help in life. Whether young or old , they are never happy .

   replyreport
6. 60

   rocknrollcowboyposted 12 years ago

   I think they are insecure with themselves but also think they feel it gives them power over others and it makes them feel good

   replyreport