What are some effective ways to discipline lying?
I know it depends on the age, but how do you teach a child that lying is not okay. Should you consider all lying the same, or should you ignore story telling?
I think that for my daughter, her "storytelling" and lying are easily discernible. She does not lie very often. I think I may have caught her in 2.
Finding out why, and make sure you sit down and speak face-to-face, eye-to-eye. When my 8-year-old daughter recently told a lie, it was because I was on the computer upstairs and she was downstairs, and she was dishonest about what she ate for breakfast. In this case it was a doughnut, and she said it was bread. When I discovered the half-eaten doughnut, I asked her "eye-to-eye" what she actually ate for breakfast, and she told the truth.
I told her that I prefer her to be honest about her breakfast choice, even if it isn't the best choice - that truth is better. We also discussed the issue of the habit of lying taking away your freedom...and adding to the fear of being caught. The truth really does set one free.
Since my husband is the one who brought home the doughnut, and therefore presented the temptation....he was instrumental in the issue. He said that he wasn't going to bring home any doughnuts for a while because she had disappointed him by lying around it, and not honoring his intention for the doughnut - a dessert to be shared by the 3 of us.
Also, afterward, it may also be effective to discuss a story about a child who lies and what happens to her or him...such as "Peter and the Wolf" (I think it's an Aesop fable)..
It is important that the "discipline" fits the "crime," and that the only way to make amends for a lie is an apology and resolution to tell the truth from then on in. Next time I ask her something, it will be face-to-face. It was too easy for her to lie when she isn't looking at me face-to-face.. It decreases the temptation if that temptation is there.
Well - I am a divorced mother of two teeny sons. I have some effective discipline lying rules in my house.
- If one of my sons is lying for the first time, I give him one demerit. He has to do one or two chores for at least 7 days without complaining or striking out.
- If he does lie again for the second time, I give him a second demerits, He lost his allowance (or reward) and he will have to do two or three chores at home without complaining or striking out.
- If he does lie again for the third times, I have to take his iphone away, he lost his allowance, and he will do three - four chores at home without complaining or striking out.
Every month, demerits will be cleared and count again.
It really works better :-)
I agree that it depends on the age of the child, and what the lie pertains to. Sometimes by understanding why they may be lying, will help understand how to stop it. I think it is not about punishing them, but getting them to stop it. I wrote a hub about lying a few months ago. Maybe this will help. http://toknowinfo.hubpages.com/hub/Lyin … h-the-Ages
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