Why do teenagers shut themselves away in their rooms?

1. 49

   Lakshmi k menonposted 8 years ago

   Teenage, as  everybody  knows  is  a  very  enjoyable  as  well  as  crucial period  of  one's  life. I , being  a  teenager  understand  the  emotional  state  of  people  during this  period  of  life. It  is  a stage  in which  we  feel   ourselves  lost  in  a  world  of  uncontrollable  tensions,stress,worries and concerns. The  emotions  are  so  intense  that  the  teens  love  being  left  alone. Hence  teenagers   shutting  themselves  in  rooms  cant  at  any  cost  be  considered  as  a  matter  of  great  deal. The  parents who  are  much  more  matured  should  make  them  feel  as they  are  always  with  them  by  consoling  them.  The  teens  should  have  a  feeling  that  the  parents  understand  their state  of  mind  and  are  with  them  in  all  walks  of  life.

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2. 90

   poppyrposted 8 years ago

   Teenhood is a time when we are trying to figure out who we are. There are people around us who are (we feel) better, cooler, more fun, more interesting, prettier, funnier and better people than us, and the thought of going outside and trying to compete is depressing.
   
   Nowadays you can blame the internet, but I don't think it's just that. Teenagers need a lot of sleep, so it's common for teens to sleep past noon. On days off, they're sleepy and don't feel like going out. Going downstairs and spending time with the parents isn't cool. We love our parents, but we would rather be alone with our thoughts. We're also in need of our own space, and our bedroom is the only 'space' which is truly ours.
   
   I'm not sure of the science behind it, but I was a teenager only 4 years ago so I still remember wanting to stay up in my room all the time because it's where I felt safe.

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   Top10 Giftsposted 8 years ago

   1 word... "hormones". LOL. Actually, I think it's because us parents are always telling them what to do and they don't want to do it... so they hide in their rooms to try to escape reality.

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   east-west proposted 8 years ago

   This is an important topic. Teenage is a difficult period. Growing up has it own painful part apart from the pleasant part. Seeing the world, listening the world, enjoying the world as a growing up person and not as a grown up person.
   
   Parents are the best in showering love upon their growing children. A gentle caring-loving smile everyday in the morning goes a long way!
   
   Listen to the teenager and communicate accordingly atleast a little each day! Laugh together, and dine together, watch tv together and above all pray together!

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   Kamren Fortposted 8 years ago

   Being a teenager, I personally shut myself in my room because I am not a social person. It's becoming more natural today that this is happening. I think it's mostly a matter of parents not taking time to do things that their children enjoy doing.

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6. 58

   Ray Croweposted 8 years ago

   Hormonal fluctuations coupled with the evolutionary subconscious need to "break out" of the mindset established by parents and immediate society during childhood. It's the classic "rebellion" phase that is subconsciously programmed into us to lead us into discovering who we really are and what we really think, independent of the influences of our family or society.

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7. 53

   Lisa Lazarteposted 8 years ago

   As I look back on my teenage years I remember doing the exact same thing...staying in my bedroom!  That's where my music was, where I chatted on the phone with my friends, where I read my Tiger Beat magazine, did my homework, and generally thought about life.  All those crucial conversations about boys and which ones talked (or even looked) at you that day were only to be discussed with my friends.  I was never trying to hide or escape from my parents (although I was hiding from chores).
   I think that all teenagers go thru this, but what really matters is what their behavior is like when they come out of that room!!

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   Jameia Alvesposted 8 years ago

   Because they don't understand or it feels like we are not wanted or unwanted. Or to avoid arguments with family members

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      jonnycomelatelyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome to HubPages, Jameia.  Feel free to express yourself. Tell us more, help us all to understand each other better.

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9. 71

   Happylovejoyposted 8 years ago

   I'm assuming the question is more about why teens shut their parents out of their lives rather than the literal 'shut the door and hide in the room' question. I guess it's just a confusing time for all of us as teenagers and we may feel embarrassed to share some things with our parents.. its also a time when we feel like we are 'old' enough to handle our own problems or 'old' enough to be entitled to some privacy..
   
   I don't think it's wrong for a teen keep to themselves at times (self discovery is part of growing up). Parents can try to cultivate good and open communication with their children from since young and offer support whenever needed..but also give the teen a chance to resolve his/her own problems and space for self discovery.

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    respectmeposted 8 years ago

    Parents have to observe their children's behavior and notice when their borderline behavior changes.
    Keep an eye on their irrability. It they seem like they have an attitude for no reason.
    Communication is the key.  Talk to your children everyday.
    Let the priority of the communication be focused on listening instead of lecturing.
    Make sure your children get plenty of rest and exercise too.  I dont allow my son to take his cell phone in his room when he goes to sleep.  When children sleep next to their phones they do not go to sleep fully, because of the anticipation of a "like' or something on social media.

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    Jennifer Mugrageposted 8 years ago

    At that time, our hormones are raging through our bodies, making us nervous, self-conscious, and uncomfortable in our own skin.  Even to the point of being physically uncomfortable.  For the first time in our lives, we are acutely conscious of ourselves, and also dislike almost everything about who we are.  That's not a pleasant place to be.  Being around people makes it worse.

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    Kristi Clouseposted 8 years ago

    I believe that teenagers are beginning to have adult thoughts and feelings. They find this new part of themselves a bit unnerving. They wish to keep it from the people who saw them in a less complicated state until they feel more accustomed to who they have become.

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    Sallyhigh2016posted 8 years ago

    Teens need a place that they can call their own. A place to decompress.

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    Umabiswasposted 8 years ago

    When I was a kid I used to do the same thing.. And the reason was pretty obvious. I was not open to my parents. I thought that to discuss my problems with them will not give any reason rather than being misunderstood by them. There was a communication Gap between me n my parents. I never expected any solutions from them instead of discussions I used to lock myself in the room to fight with my anger. I think parent should give enough time to their children and to maintain a stable communication system to avoid this situation

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       jonnycomelatelyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Umabiswas, welcome to HubPages.  It's good to hear your perspective on this subject.
       I wonder if we are searching too hard for "a perfect Teenage Experience," devoid of all problems and challenges?  Is there such a thing?

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    2. 57

       Umabiswasposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       @Alan.. Hey Alan, nowadays, to get a perfect Teenage Experience Is bit difficult I think. There is more burden and expectations from parents. These expectations kill the teenage stage and forced them to act like a mature robot

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    3. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Lots of thoughts coming up for me here.  Will try to put them into words tomorrow (night time here now, must sleep).  It will have to be a new platform.  Will let you know.

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    4. 57

       Umabiswasposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Have a good sleep..

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    Lauren M 1600posted 8 years ago

    The reason teens shut them away in their rooms is because they feel like no body can understand them. Teens often feel as if their parents do not understand their reasons for doing what they do. Although, parents try to solve the issues by having fights with the teen, and that only makes the tee trust them less. The parents do worry about their kids, some more or less than others, but sometimes all a kid needs is space.

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    weezyschannelposted 8 years ago

    A lot of reasons! Unfortunately, when my teenager hid himself in his room, it was because he was going through depression. School is rough and I had a tremendous amount of health problems going on. I wasn't able to be the mother he needed at the time to talk to. There are a number of reasons they go in the room and shut the door.
    1) Bullying
    2)Girlfriend/Boyfriend problems
    3)Sexuality preferences (Gay, lesbian) and trying to figure themselves who they are and why they don't feel (society normal)
    4) hormonal changes

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    SherrieWeynandposted 8 years ago

    My daughter is 15, it's been just the two of us since she was 2. Luckily for me, (and her as well) we've always had an open line of communication. We talk about everything. If she has a problem, she'll come to me for advice. Just anything, she'll talk about it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. She doesn't stay locked away in her room, but we both gravitate to our private areas for a little bit each day. She's started to go out with her friends, and growing as a young adult. I know that I've taught her what I can, and now she will have to use that to the best of her ability.
    
    Now, that's not to say everything is perfect, we have plenty of eye rolls, slamming bedroom doors from her end of the hall, stomping off when she's mad. I think it's all part of growing up. I'm just glad that she doesn't lock herself away and barely speaks. Perhaps it's just keeping that communication open, where they know they can come to you with anything.
    
    Might I add that a healthy dose of wine every now and then helps too.

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18. 71

    borge_009posted 8 years ago

    There are numerable factors why teenagers do not communicate with their parents. It could be that the parents are "strict" ,"feared" and doesn't allow two-way communication. Some teenagers are not just comfortable talking to their parents or it is just their personality to keep things by themselves.

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19. 69

    cebutouristspotposted 8 years ago

    I think the teenager shutting themselves away in their rooms nowadays have negative impact.
    
    I remember before when I did it.  It give me time to reflect on the situation that had happen.   It give me time to understand/reflect on what I did wrong or what I did right.
    
    Nowadays.  Social Media wreck this.  A lot of people will offer you suggestion without knowing the whole story.  (which confuse tender minds more)
    
    In short it is much harder to raise a teenager nowadays compare before the information interchange era have arrive.

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20. 58

    Sammi828posted 8 years ago

    I think it's pretty normal for teens to shut themselves in their room. Teens are going through a wide range of emotions and changes. They want to be more mature yet they want to hold on to part of their childhood. Shutting themselves in sometimes gives them a piece of freedom and control over their life. In other cases, they may be hiding from chaos, or just prefer to be left alone. If you keep an open line of communication you shouldn't have to much to worry about.

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21. 55

    Destiny Hixonposted 8 years ago

    When they are mad and upset they often do this because i do it and i am a teen.

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    vishalvksposted 7 years ago

    I think there are multiple reasons for doing this.
    Teen is a very delicate age, this is the period when they are neither kids nor adult. This leaves them very confused. To top it there is are hormonal changes they see a lot of difference within which confuses further.
    Lack of good parenting and too much interference makes the matter worse.
    This is the age when they connect best with the people they can identify with themselves like the girl/boy next door, class mates & want to gain new experience in life. By constant nagging, criticism, interference they are not sure of such experiences will be approved by the parents, so best way it to avoid them as much as possible.
    Locked room is way of putting away.
    Many a times parents are also not sure & tend to take the same steps which we disapproved during our teens.
    The other common mistake which parents do is that they don't give sufficient time to the teens. Thus the barrier is created.
    
    It is not that bad, things can be worked out:-
    1. Talk to the teenager
    2. Encourage them to take small harmless decision
    3. Very important to approve their friends but make the rules clear to the teenager
    4. Talk to them about the hormonal changes, don't leave them for teachers, doctors to take the first step
    5. Involve them in household activities
    6. Diner is not the meal served with gadgets & TV. Its family time on dining table, make good use.

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23. 0

    Diana Abrahamsonposted 7 years ago

    Sometimes they think their parents will not understand their problem so they rather hide in their room with their own thoughts and music.

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24. 69

    Khathijaposted 7 years ago

    I am a teen right now and I don't know why but I like having my own personal space. I clearly wasn't this kind of person I loved family meets or talking with my parents but right now it's like I don't care.. I think it is due the generation gap because when I put a view they find it offensive and at this time everyone gets angry easily ( I think). So we better like keeping everything to ourselves.. I think that's my case...

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    godrejairposted 7 years ago

    There should not be any reason..it depends on individual as to why the do. they many have their own reasons..

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    rockpiyushposted 7 years ago

    It is the time when we try to think different from what we used to do in our childhood. Thus, we shut ourselves to keep our minds away from the outside world, because we think more when we are alone.
    And at this stage parents plays a very vital role, they try to stop us from thinking so that we become more strong in our perspectives. As they have gone through this stage of life, so they are more experienced.
    We as a teenager have a very creative mind, but we fail to explain those creativities. We shut ourselves and think about more creations and the way we can explain it to the outside world waiting outside the room.

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    Alan Graceposted 7 years ago

    This era generation are very hyper and sensitive. Were there is love in home childrens does not misbehave  https://goo.gl/Q8eDIC

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28. 90

    moonlakeposted 7 years ago

    I was a teenager once. I'm 72 now. I locked myself in my room. This had absolutely nothing to do with my parents not understanding me. I like the  privacy and  quiet. I was the teenager in the family, it was nice to get away from 4 younger brothers and sisters. I did my homework, listen to station  Luxenberg, read books or true romance magazines, hung out my window and chatted with school friends as they walked by, went through my clothes or make-up, and even cleaned my room. It was fun.
    My granddaughters now hang out in their rooms. My daughter gets upset with them.

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    rajnirajput716970posted 7 years ago

    They are not able to face challenges, they have fear of loss, and they depressed very badly

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    Salwa mazharposted 7 years ago

    Teenage is the most typical age. Being a teenager it is difficult to understand circumstances easily. so thats why we shut ourselves in the room actually we try to hide from the problems at this age but as we grow older we start to learn and face our problems. This is a natural process we cant change it. everything changes with time.

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    Shivani sposted 7 years ago

    Its all depends upon the atmosphere which is devloped by their parents since childhood.Like if parents are stricts all time, forcing them or we can say not listening them not allowing thing in their field of interest. See what happen, we don't realize that time that what we are doing,parent's think's they are doing their best for their children but trust me it is not all the time.
    
    Some time we do listen to our children and try hard that what chldren wants to say or do. Parents should think like their children point of  view so that children feel free to speak about their ideas,their friend circle or it may be anything since childhood so that these kind of things does not happen while growing.

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    toradrakeposted 7 years ago

    As teenagers we are living under another's rules and we have no voice (or so we think). However, in our rooms we have some sort of freedom. We can do as we like, say what want, listen to what we want when we are in our rooms as opposed to "deal" with the oppressive authorities of the house. Its apart of growing up and finding our own independence.
    
    With computers and cellphones it also allows teens to be able to vent in privacy to peers that sympathize with the situation. Making them feel as if they not only have a voice but are justified in their feelings.

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    Rachu Muraliposted 7 years ago

    Teenage, This age is only Such A Age where Life starts to Take its Turn, and Create or fix the Target in Everybody's Life So Teenagers must feel free in their decition, and decition making capacity will be developed if they get the freedom Properly, So they Tend to be Alone inthier World and not to get Distracted by others so they Shut Themselves in thier Rooms,
    
    Here we can also assume many good or Bad Things about the teenagers but whatever may be the situation they will start at that age to Cultivate and they want only them in their way no body else.

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    HLKeeleyposted 7 years ago

    They just want to be alone to brood. For me, it was to prevent myself getting into more trouble because I would say something and make things worse. I did not know how to communicate. Even now at 25, I can't talk to my parents without whining and getting angry. It is always an argument. I think if parents can have communications that are not always bad then children will not want to be alone. Teenagers only have that room. It is the one room that is theirs and they feel like they have ownership over the room. They get to decorate it and it be their safe haven. It is like after a long day at work. You just want to go home. I wanted to be in my room. Now I have an apartment and I am in the living room more, but when I stay with my mom to visit, I am in my room again staying out of the way and getting my alone time.

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    carmon wallaceposted 7 years ago

    Some teenagers feel as though their parents went through something different so they wont fully understand what we are going through. Its hard to explain to your parents too if you do not even know how to explain it to yourself. Also, it seems kinda forced, they do not wanna say the wrong thing and get in trouble for being that way or for what they did, or some do not have good relations with their parents.

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    idessa vessposted 7 years ago

    me as a teenager need some time alone because many people don't understand many of the struggles that we teenagers have to face, for this is a different generation from of when you parents were born we are faced with challenges such as social media and pressures of being 'perfect' for at school they get worshiped and praised for there good looks and perfect bodies if your teenager is shutting you out they probably just need some type alone to organize there thoughts
    
    
    my suggestion to you is that you wait for them to come up to you but show you are supportive and say 'i love you' I wish my parents would sometimes go in my room and say that they love me even during my episodes

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    jugglejackposted 7 years ago

    technology gap I think
    the parent don't know what teenager talking about because their world now it so different

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    Becky Callahanposted 7 years ago

    Asserting independence is such a priority at this age, and teenagers are very eager to claim their little corner of the world. Despite these intense feelings, there is very little that a teenager can control in this turbulent time between childhood and adulthood. That's why, I believe,  they insist on privacy and shut themselves away so often. They are working hard on developing their own identities and do not want to be associated as much with the family unit as a whole. Fortunately, this behavior is usually only temporary!

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    Hippie2000posted 7 years ago

    I blame it on electricity. It we didn't have it they would be outside working and doing chores. Take away all the modern-day junk and you will see them doing things with the family. So I say live like it 500AD. And for those that say we need electric. Think about that. We as humans only had it a short time. That we been on this big rock.  All we need to live is food. That you hey from hunting or trap. If that is your thing. Or by gathing. Such as plants, seeds, roots. Shelter well that is the easier then the food. Shelters can be made from anything.

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    Yashica Vermaposted 7 years ago

    I've just crossed the teenage and still haven't found the answer, but certainly staying away makes you feel better than explaining anything. Ever looked at sky for continuous 5 minutes? We can hardly point out what part of clouds and the color are changing, actually it seems that nothing is changing but in real terms, it changes in every moment, right in front of our eyes. And within minutes it's altogether different. That age is just like that. We began to transform into adults, As kids life was so full of joy and now it seems to be harder, we're not sure if we would be able to cope up. And we tend to think that something is happening with us which can't be explained and nobody would ever understand. The fear of criticization and being misunderstood is always there. All you can do is give them space because if they feel their home as place of stress, they'll desire to be somewhere else. And ofcourse, all of us have gone through this phase and know that we sort out our lives anyway.Let them climb to higher level of life on their own. So keep faith in them, show them some moral support, and chose your words wisely cz they may look like attacking them.  They will always find their way back home, after all, they belong to you- the family.

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    solivagantposted 7 years ago

    Because there are some questions we need to answer on our own and we are facing the period where we have a proper excuse to be rebels- after that, we will mostly have a peaceful life, we will  have our jobs, families- everything. The only occasion when we don't want to be slaves of the normal lives is when our hormones are boiling in our bodies- the time when we are changing. Our hearts, our mind- everything is screaming how selfish we are- but we don't care. While we are screaming 'Anarchy!' in our heads, we are actually just a children who wants to realize what is going on with them.

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    Besarienposted 7 years ago

    When I was a teen I had to walk away before my mouth got me into big trouble. I really needed a little time to collect myself and not blurt things that I would have regretted for more reasons than whatever punishment I was given. I always was either five seconds from tears or so angry I could spit- for no reason! I think it was hormonal.

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    yogaburnclubposted 7 years ago

    Teenagers are great and need a lot of attention.This is the part of life where so many changes in their lives.They are experiencing new body changes and emotional changes too.This new life can make them be withdrawn and hide from others.
    Nowadays parents have become very busy with limited time with their children especially teenagers.They are left to themselves to explore the world alone.This makes some of them to lock themselves up in rooms and hide in movies and internet surfing.They also have a great social life and most of the time they will lock themselves in rooms and surf all day.
    
    Teenagers need great support from parents to show them the right way especially in their social life.

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    hiya-writerposted 7 years ago

    I have seen this problem in my home too. It is sometimes really irritating when my niece locks herself up for hours, apparently doing nothing or just simply fiddling with her phone. I believe she needs her own space or privacy. It is more like a state of mind, being in control of one's self. They start believing parents do not understand them, they fail to understand their problems and so on. But, is this the problem of the present generation only?

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    tompyleslawposted 7 years ago

    They want privacy or they are hiding something.. May be depressed or dont want to share anything with their parents. Depends on the situation,.

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    asifiqposted 7 years ago

    Every child is an individual, not quite the same as other, same as we parents differ from one another, and circumstance, greater family and neighbourhood, all have impact on how a child would behave.
    
    My child does not shut himself away in his room, but then again, he is only 14, my tougher days are yet to come
    
    However, a child shutting him/herself away in his/her room is quite common. Most important part is to realize why a child would. There could be the need for the space, they require trying to adjust with the changes their metabolism and mind is undergoing. Could be not being able to express themselves on certain issues or ask about them with the right questions. It could very well be matters they are not comfortable with having their room door open.
    
    The question is very important for every parent, not questioning in a controlling manner within ourselves, rather to actually be aware of why the teenagers do. To actually be fully aware of what the young minds are undergoing. There might not be anything to be alarmed of. And that is the very reason, we must know why.
    
    To be transparent with the child, and the child also being so with the parent(s) - that is a crucial part of being a parent To have the relationship at a level where such answers simply are there spontaneously.

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    Barbara040posted 7 years ago

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    Boda karchegposted 7 years ago

    Because of this http://yamechanic.com/C9hG
    Wait for 5 seconds and skip volla you will get your answer

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