What is your honest opinion on spanking a child ? What are other ways to discipline ?
Do you believe it is a positive or negative action ? please explain...
Except on rare occasions spanking should never be resorted to by parents. Even If spanking is given it should be done only on the bottom with fairness and proper loving care to discipline a child.
I have no problem with someone spanking their child especially during their early years as long as it's not over the top. Of course I grew up in era where teachers and coaches were allowed to paddle students who got out of line at school. None of us appear to be scarred for life. We also were never allowed to address adults by their first names either. Addressing an adult as Mr. or Ms. created an instant (buffer) or level of respect.
Over the past couple of generations parents have tried to be the opposite of the way they were raised. They encouraged their children to call every adult by their first name and most want to be their child's "best friend" as oppose to parent them. Some even get "high" with their teens or allow teens to have sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends under their roof. When I was growing up there were (dual) and separate worlds. One for adults the other for kids/teens and rarely if ever did one cross into the other. There will always be a debate over whether strict parenting is better than lax parenting. One thing that cannot be disputed is there were far less school shootings, less teen pregnancies, and less teen drug/alcohol addition. Maybe there was something to that old bible verse: "Spare the rod spoil the child."
That's a last resort. You can gain better results by using different methods.
This question seems to come up frequently, and I'll reply as I have in the past. I am against spanking. Spanking is hitting kids, pure and simple. I would never hit a child. It teaches that hitting is a way of solving problems. It sends the wrong message and teaches the child to hit. Over time, it can result in the child becoming resentful of their parent, not trusting their parent, or either rebelling against or withdrawing from their parent.
If a child is too young to fully understand his or her actions and the consequences that come along with them, then hitting the child for their actions is just plain cruel and uncalled for. During these years, a simple but firm NO and a correction of the behavior will suffice, as you teach the child what is expected, how to control himself, what consequences are and how to make good behavior choices. It is a learning period and takes time, although kids are smart and catch on quickly. Toddlers are very much centered around themselves and are also very impulsive. Their brains must develop further before they are capable of controlling their behavior to a full extent, or making well thought out behavior choices.
If a child is old enough to understand that what they did is wrong and that there are consequences for misbehaving, then they are old enough to be reasoned with. Instead of hitting, you can take a privilege away, assign extra chores, require the child to make amends to the person they hurt, etc. My own children are glued to their electronics, so taking their phone or video game away is extremely effective in my case. With an older child who understands the situation and what is expected of them, hitting the child is completely unnecessary.
I don't believe in spanking children. The very idea that to get a child to behave we have to cause them physical pain is barbaric. We raised two really cool kids without hitting them so it can be done.
We talked, took privileges away if necessary, rarely grounded but first we had a sense of humor. Our children had a lot of freedom as long as we knew where they were and what they were doing. It worked for us anyway.
You need to discover a child's love language. Some children would rather a spanking than as my children call it,"Death by lecture". Some children spanking do no good. The kids I know whose parents are deaf are devastated when they are yelled at.
I can tell you very specifically when, where, how and why I got the three spanking I got as a kid.
A child should only be spanked (a swat on the bottom, never anywhere else) only for defiance and never after they are 10 or 12 years of age.
Never spank in anger!
I would much rather see a child get a swat on the bottom than listen to a parent berate their child continually or allow them to hurt other children or adults. Verbal abuse is as bad or worse than spanking. It leaves no visible marks, yet kills the spirit of a child worse than a beating.
my opinion is not my own it belongs to scripture but it worked well for all 8 of my children
Prov 3:11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
Nor detest His correction;
12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
Prov 4:10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings,
And the years of your life will be many.
11 I have taught you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in right paths.
Prov 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Prov 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Prov 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.
Prov 15:10 Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way,
And he who hates correction will die.
Prov 17:10 Rebuke is more effective for a wise man
Than a hundred blows on a fool. 11 An evil man seeks only rebellion;
Therefore a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
and the most inportant one
Prov 23:13 Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
14 You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.
I was never spanked as a child. My parents were still constantly complimented on their well-behaved children. I think it helped that we were always praised when we did what was expected of us. When other adults complimented us, we were told and praised. The praise felt good, and we wanted more of it. Sometimes, we experienced loss of privileges when we acted up. Time outs were also big, and often a great way to cool both parties down. I also remember crumbling when my father said he was 'disappointed.'
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I don't have pre teen children, but I say spank away.
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