Is it racist to not want to date anyone of a particular race?

1. 0

   LoliHeyposted 7 years ago

   Is it racist to not want to date anyone of a particular race?
   
   Say a white person does not want to date black people.  However, that white person has black friends, and respects black people as equal human beings.  He or she just doesn't want to date a black person.  Does that make this person a racist?  You may say that it is superficial, but keep in mind that a people need to be physically attracted to one another, especially in the case of men.

   replyreport
   1. 37

      Aaron Snyderposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Nope

      replyreport
   2. 75

      Castlepalomaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I dated mostly nonwhite women. Being white male, am I a reverse rasist?

      replyreport
      1. 0

         jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Choice of a mating partner, where the sexual act is the natural drive to reproduce, to ensure genetic survival of the species (in all animals) is driven by multiple and complex biological processes.  We of the homo sapiens species are no different.
         Physical characteristics, hair colour, height, facial features, apparent strength, responses to flirting, protective attitudes to children, etc., will all play a part in a female's attraction to the male.
         Other attributes perhaps peculiar to the human might include cultural acceptance, who his friends are, whether he's active/sharing the load, or lay-about/selfish/lazy.  Also whether his close family is accepting or not.
         The very human attitude is the perception of superiority over one of a different genetic background, e.g., skin colour.  (Although even this might be instinctive from an evolutionary point of view.)  That, in my view, is racist.  And it often leads to bigotry, unfairness, deprivation and even utter cruelty.
         What it is claimed we have as humans over other species, is the ability to use our intelligent brains in order to work out better responses to social problems. About time we showed some proof of this....in my humble opinion.

         replyreport
         1. 75

            Castlepalomaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            When I was a young teen, interracial marriage was illegal. I might of been doing something illegal at the time.
            
            Even the Government were in on racism.

            replyreport
2. 63

   WordCrafter09posted 7 years ago

   If I go (WAY) back to my days of meeting potential dates, I thought the same then as I do now:   I didn't feel/think like I had a shred of racism in me.  My race doesn't/shouldn't matter here.  Back then it was about my being a young woman who hoped to minimize complications/issues not just for me, but for any children I might one day have. 
   
   I knew some people of one or another different race/ethnicity that I found attractive enough, but since I wasn't close enough friends with any of them I was easy enough to just kind of rule them out as possibilities, simply because I thought it would eliminate/reduce the chances of "complications" in the future.  It wasn't even just people of a different race.  It was also people who happened to live in/be from other countries (and have their own families there).  I just saw it as simpler not to strike up a "potential dating" relationship that might bring complications that might/might exist at some point.
   
   There's a point, though, when "potentially serious" relationships develop once past that "dating potential" stage and instead develop as friendships.  Since it was the 60's/70's, I used to ask myself if I were already in a close friendship with someone of another race if I'd date them, and I would not have let race stop me.  (I still probably would have let the "other-country thing" stop me for the complications reasons.)
   
   Aside from any potential complications that, say, any eventual children from the relationship may have/bring; I did, however, have the concern that sometimes people aim to date people of another race only to prove something (to them-selves or others).  While I knew I wouldn't be the one trying to prove anything, I did have awareness about not wanting to be on the other side of someone else's trying to prove something (but, of course, if I'd already been close enough friends with someone to know him well enough to know that wasn't the case; that would have been different).
   
   I don't think any of that is racism.  It just happened that I met the person I'd eventually marry at 21 (so there wasn't a lot of time between a teen from a most White area and then not being "in the dating market").  (BTW, turns out all my efforts to minimize potential complications didn't do much to accomplish that aim, but that's not what anyone asked here anyway.   (lol)      )
   
   Point is it had nothing to do with being attracted to anyone or being superficial, but about aiming to minimize potential complications.

   replyreport
3. 52

   Norine Williamsposted 7 years ago

   Have you ever heard "Love is blind?"  Color blind too!
   
   We are ALL souls and as long as you "Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD, and HIS righteousness, and ALL these things will be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33), FIRST, then all's good! 
   
   Make sure he has the same religious beliefs, goals and aspirations prior to commitment!  Makes for a happier life!

   replyreport
4. 90

   lisavollrathposted 7 years ago

   Yes, it is racist. You are excluding all people of a single race from your dating pool, rather than meeting people and excluding them based on who they are.
   
   Like it or not, "I don't want to date black people" is racism.

   replyreport
   1. 61

      djashburnalposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      No it's not.
      By that logic all gay men are sexist because they exclude women, all straight men are homophobic because they exclude other men.  You're being a bigot in your attempt to put down imaginary bigots.

      replyreport
   2. 90

      lisavollrathposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      A sexual preference or orientation is not racism, which is what the question asked about. Nice try.

      replyreport
   3. 85

      RJ Schwartzposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Wrong as wrong can be - dating and intimacy aren't subject to man made constructs - are gay people heterophobic because they don't date straight people?

      replyreport
   4. 90

      lisavollrathposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Again, sexual preference is not race, which is what the question asked. Preferring men over women is not the same as saying "I will not date black people".

      replyreport
   5. 85

      RJ Schwartzposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Then gender is also a meaningless construct, am I right?

      replyreport
   6. 66

      mrpopoposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      "Preferring men over women is not the same as saying "I will not date black people"."
      
      That depends. When a gay man prefers men over women he is implicitly saying "I will not date women because I am not attracted to them."

      replyreport
   7. 91

      michelleonly3posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Racism is hating someone based on their race. That has nothing to do with dating. I have never been attracted to Asian men. That does not make me racist. I don't hate Asian men, I don't believe anything bad about them, It's not racism.

      replyreport
   8. 0

      PeterStipposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's simple if you don't want to date someone because of the skin colour it's racism, nothing else.
      Comparing gays with colored people is a false comparasing. Homosexuality is hard wired in the brain, racism is not.

      replyreport
   9. 63

      dianetrotterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you guys for making sense.  Race and sexual orientation are not mutually exclusive.  You can be any color and be gay.  No one knows unless you want them to.  Black people have no choice.  Those who have "passed" have done so for a reason.

      replyreport
   10. 37

       Aaron Snyderposted 4 years agoin reply to this

       Not racist

       replyreport
5. 86

   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   It is not unreasonable to say you want to date someone who shares your faith, your culture, your belief system. If black culture is so different that it results in a different dialect, clothing style, behavior, then it is reasonable to say that is too great a gap for a relationship to have to deal with.
   
   Interestingly, I've also heard of "lookism", where people don't want to date unattractive individuals, and "thin privilege", because few want to date fat people.
   
   We need to stop deriding people for not being attracted to other individuals or groups as potential mates. Do liberal authoritarians have the right to tell us who we can and cannot sleep with, fall in love with, marry without name calling? Will they order people to date others of various demographic groups or deny permission to marry unless a diversity metric is met? What happened to liberals saying stay out of our bedroom?

   replyreport
   1. 52

      Norine Williamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Tammy!  Where are you?  Who told you (all) blacks were different in "dialect, clothing style & behavior?" 
      Look at your President!

      replyreport
   2. 83

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Every race is made up of (individuals)!
      It's foolish to make a blanket assumption the color of someone's skin dictates their values and beliefs.
      Mike Tyson and President Obama are worlds apart.
      Not all white people are the same either.

      replyreport
   3. 86

      tamarawilhiteposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      And yet conservative blacks are called "race traitors" or liberals say they aren't really black.

      replyreport
   4. 52

      Norine Williamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      NOT TRUE!  I have all levels (economic, education, etc) of individuals w/in my family yet all do not call President Obama "traitor" but BLACK. 
      
      Blacks (to society) are "perceived" as people of "ignorance" yet I see that in all races!

      replyreport
   5. 83

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The fact that there are black conservatives and black liberals proves my point! Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Shaquille O'Neal are registered Republicans! Some conservative white people use the term "liberal" as being weak or amoral.

      replyreport
   6. 52

      Norine Williamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Therefore, racism is TRULY "judging" which is against GOD'S WORD!

      replyreport
   7. 86

      tamarawilhiteposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Judging is not against God's law - judging people by standards you will not abide by is the sin, AKA, hypocrisy. We are morally called out to call out evil and wrong, or else there is no enforcement of morality in day to day life.

      replyreport
   8. 52

      Norine Williamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      "JUDGING" can ONLY be done with GOD'S WORD not to justify "our PERSONAL opinion(s)!" That why Scripture tells us to "Judge RIGHTEOUS Judgment" (Jn 7:24) & what is RIGHTEOUS but WORD (Is 8:20)!
      REMEMBER: Gal 3:28!

      replyreport
6. 72

   Aime Fposted 7 years ago

   Is physical attraction the only reason?  I've seen plenty of very attractive people from all races so I find it hard to believe that someone could say they aren't attracted to anyone from an entire race.  I think there must be something deeper than that, which could very well be racism.

   replyreport
   1. 66

      mrpopoposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Would you find it hard to believe that someone could say they aren't attracted to anyone from an entire gender? That's how most of us operate. Some people just aren't attracted to the physical characteristics of certain races.

      replyreport
   2. 72

      Aime Fposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      To be honest I do find it strange that someone could say they've never been attracted to someone from either gender but that's a different conversation. 

      replyreport
   3. 80

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It does happen. It's called being asexual.

      replyreport
   4. 72

      Aime Fposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry, I meant that I find it strange that someone who usually finds men attractive has NEVER found a woman attractive and vice versa, not that someone has never found anyone attractive. But I understand it happens. Just hard for me to imagine!

      replyreport
   5. 0

      jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I have never " desired " a female...ever.  I don't tend to notice whether a woman is "attractive" or not.  Presumably this relates to the sexual disinterest. No offence intended.  It's just way I have always been.  But friendships?  Yes. Plutonic.

      replyreport
7. 59

   Link10103posted 7 years ago

   So this white person has black friends and respects them as equals, but is mystically not attracted to any black person of the opposite sex, at all, for no known reason?
   
   Well they're either gay or yeah, possibly racist. The whole "My best friend is black" line doesn't actually stop the person from being racist.

   replyreport
   1. 72

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      But must everyone be attracted to every race? Does there have to be a reason for someone to not be attracted? So if a person is not attracted to another, but chooses to date them out of fairness, I feel like that's not fair to the other person.

      replyreport
   2. 59

      Link10103posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      No, you don't have to be attracted to every race.
      
      With that said however, I find it highly unlikely that a person cannot find ANYONE of the opposite sex from multiple races attractive without there being some underlying reason.

      replyreport
   3. 72

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I guess I find it likely, but that is based on personal experience. If a particular race exhibits the same type of physical characteristics, and one's preference is based upon certain physical features, this seems not only likely but predictable

      replyreport
   4. 72

      Aime Fposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Same physical characteristics? You can find two people from any race who look nothing alike. Even skin tone varies within race. I have a very hard time believing someone could find an entire race unattractive w/o something else at play.

      replyreport
   5. 72

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Certain races share similar phys. characteristics, and some ppl aren't attracted. That's it.Assuming that someone is likely racist simply because"you have a hard time believing"how anyone is not attracted, is illogical, ego-centric, and narrowminded.

      replyreport
   6. 59

      Link10103posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's illogical to assume that every person of x race shares one underlying characteristic that just happens to be the one you aren't attracted to. Are there examples?
      
      If anything we can drop the racism part and just call it being shallow.

      replyreport
   7. 72

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      One could equally say that they prefer certain characteristics, and a particular race just so happens to not have those. (Hair color, etc.) Is it shallow? Perhaps, but is it anyone's business what another person's criteria for attraction are?

      replyreport
   8. 72

      Aime Fposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Funny, I'd say claiming an entire race doesn't have your preferred physical characteristics is illogical, ego-centric, and narrowminded.

      replyreport
   9. 72

      AshtonFireflyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That's more of a difference of opinion. You apparently see races as not having characteristics similar overall, but others do. None of us owe anyone else an explanation for our attraction preferences

      replyreport
   10. 72

       Aime Fposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Okie doke.

       replyreport
   11. 54

       Agnes Jamesposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       (I PROMISED Dr Mojo Magagula  TO SHARE THIS GREAT TESTIMONY TO EVERYONE THAT COMES MY WAY.) Please bear with me and read on! I noticed a sudden change when my husband started cheating on me.'For the worse,'he started treating me and our little kids a

       replyreport
   12. 61

       DionesiaPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Ashton Firely, we both have to admit that Link10 has reason and every race has all hair colors, blacks can have red hair, blond hair, brown hair with blue eyes and more and dismissing someone just based on their skin tone IS racist (Google them)

       replyreport
8. 86

   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   
   
   Not necessarily so.  People tend to date those who are similar to them in terms of physical, racial, religious, socioeconomic, & educational characteristics.  People are comfortable with familiarity & similarity because such components makes them feel secure, at ease, & comfortable.  It isn't necessarily racist for people to prefer dating, relating, & mating w/those of their particular race.  People have the right to their particular preference as to whom they date, relate to, &/or marry. It is THEIR particular choice no more no less.

   replyreport
9. 80

   Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years ago

   I had an experience which, in retrospect, is hilarious.
   I was at a contra dance camp, where I was the only black.  The band was EXCELLENT.  I tried to flirt with the guitar player, who had written many of the tunes, but he was only interested in a couple of red-headed women who wore horn rimmed glasses.  Apparently his tastes were very singular.  Towards the end of the weekend, he explained apologetically that he was from Detroit.  Then the fiddler, who is from Massachusetts (female), jumped in to remedy the situation.
   I can't fault the guy for being a little put off, considering where he"s from, and what his background most likely is.  For that matter, I may be the first black woman who ever flirted with him!  LOL!
   I met him seven years later, at a contra dance in Seattle.  He approached me during the break, saying I looked familiar.  We talked awhile, and he told me the fiddler had retired to raise a family.
   We all have a particular ideal we're attracted to.  It's not racist - but it's a good idea to not be too narrow.  There are only a certain number of redheads who wear horn rimmed glasses - and not all of them have good character.  As far as I know, he has never married.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Suhail and my dogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for sharing a great story from your personal life, Yoleen.

      replyreport
10. 83

    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    
    
    No, I don't think it's racist to have dating preferences anymore than it would be sexist to only want to date a particular gender.
    Your love life is not some business transaction which could keep someone from pursuing personal happiness.
    Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    You're entitled to not want to date bald, short men, overweight, unemployed, smokers, drinkers, drug users, or whatever else is on (your) "deal breakers" list. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
    We can't legislate personal preferences. Everyone gets rejected!
    Granted the more "deal breakers" one has the less options they have.
    Life is a (personal) Journey!
    You can't get anymore personal than someone's choice of a mate.

    replyreport
    1. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       That's fair. People who have issues should work on them so they can be more desirable. In matters they can't help, they can compensate with their personalities. When I was in my late 40s, I was asked out by a 15 year old!
       Love your picture, btw!

       replyreport
    2. 60

       helenstuartposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       What if you only date giant supermodels?

       replyreport
    3. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Use stilts!

       replyreport
    4. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Would you be on a social climb?

       replyreport
    5. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       That's one way to do it...

       replyreport
11. 60

    MichaelMcNabbposted 7 years ago

    I think the word racist implies a hatred or rejection of another race as your equal.  You have a preference that your future mate has a skin color like your own (I'm assuming).  I do not define that as racist any more than if you wanted a calico cat over a solid yellow cat.  Also there are valid reasons for your point of view.  There can be distinct cultural, traditional and religious differences in many races that could lead to long term strain within both sides of the families.  Furthermore if you were to become convinced that you are currently wrong do you really want to put your future mate in the position of doubt?  Of course not, so don't feel bad because you definitely are not a racist.

    replyreport
12. 54

    peter565posted 7 years ago

    Well, it really depends on the reason. Usually when a white girl say she won't date black, people usually assume it is because she got a problem with black people, but it might be due to other reason, e.g. her parents are racist to blacks and don't want her to date black and she don't want to piss off her parents. I also know in some culture, they believe light skin tone is culturally consider as beauty, but dark skin tone is opposite, so some might not want to date black, because it will lead to dark skin babies.
    
    But whatever is the reason, I will be careful while expressing not wanting to date black, especially amount women. Men are socially expected to be superficial in appearance, so when a guy say he won't date black, people would usually assume it is because he is not sexually attracted to black, rather then think it is racist. But, women are think to consider more about personality then look, so when a white girl say she won't date black, people are more likely to assume, it is due to racist reasons.

    replyreport
    1. 63

       dianetrotterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       It sounds like you are explaining racism.  I think a person shouldn't date outside of race to prove a point.  Date who you like.

       replyreport
13. 72

    Shyron E Shenkoposted 7 years ago

    No it is not racist.  It is racist to expect someone to date someone of a different race to prove that they are not racist.
    A racist is a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another, and they come in all different colors, shapes and sizes.
    
    Blessings Lolita.

    replyreport
    1. 59

       sharekickballposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Nice

       replyreport
    2. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I suggest the entire process of choosing a mate is a function of evolution.  Nothing to do with morality.  The preference is instinctive, part of our animal makeup.

       replyreport
14. 74

    clivewilliamsposted 7 years ago

    Yes, It Is racism, AND No It Isn't. Reasoning. If it's about sex, then you could date anyone you deemed attractive enough to get or give you some. If it is about serious relationship (commitment and Marriage) Then many will look at similarities and differences. Sometimes the differences in race are too much to bare by a particular individual. So they would not date that race based upon differences. So lets say a white woman sees a nice Muslim man and decides to date him. Then later in the relationship he tells her in order to be apart of his family, she has to wear a hijab, She can't manage being cloaked up and decides that it is not the best thing for her. So she skips that relationship and vows not to get involved with anyone else of Muslim religion. So she avoids dating anyone from the middle east. That would not make her racist would it?  But if she says she hate Muslim men because they are terrorist and kill everyone that would be racist. everyone has a preference to who they wish to spend their lives with and that must be respected. There are white people who will not look to their race and their re black people who will not look to their race. At the end of the day, it is what gets the mojo running.

    replyreport
    1. 47

       bradmasterOCcalposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       But Muslim Men do have a lock on being terrorists, and as we can't tell which are terrorists by inspection then it is like giving up donuts. Plus Muslims don't believe women are equal?even without that how many people outside of Muslims believe in it

       replyreport
15. 38

    jtraderposted 7 years ago

    We still have a lot of stereotypes don't we? "especially in the case of men"?
    Know that wasn't your focus but why is there sometimes this idea that women don't care about whether they are physically attracted to a man? Women look at the way men look.
    
    I don't know if it's racist. It certainly might lead to missed opportunities in terms of personality but if someone focuses more on external things, eg. maybe they only like extra tall Thai men, men who don't fall in that category may be better off without them. I think it touches on aspects of their background, their exposure to the world, etc.

    replyreport
16. 59

    Taranwandererposted 7 years ago

    It does't matter if it's racist or not. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it - but don't make a big fuss about  because it's a personal decision. SOMETIMES, it simply isn't a big deal whether something is viewed as racist or not.

    replyreport
    1. 86

       tamarawilhiteposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       The biggest racists I've seen in this issue are blacks who attack black men for seriously dating and marrying white women, like Clarence Thomas did, but have no issue if he just knocks her up and abandons her.

       replyreport
    2. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Surely the Golden Rule could be "If either party is not fully involved and in agreement, don't "do anything" that would spoil the friendship."

       replyreport
17. 67

    cfinposted 7 years ago

    Lets think about the difference between CORRELATION and CAUSATION first of all. Think deeply about that on your own time.
    
    Also, "that white person has black friends" doesn't mean that they treat them equally. If they don't treat people equally, no matter what they look like then, that is racist.
    
    If in fact they just have a lack of attraction to a specific color, then that is different. It's odd and awkward, but not racist in itself. It wouldn't also be racist if they just find a certain feature that is prevalent within a society to be unattractive.
    
    Some guys don't like Chinese women because of certain prevalent physical features. It's really mean to say and discussing it really isn't nice or comfortable. It's just one of those things that doesn't need to be discussed. It IS offensive but it's not racist.

    replyreport
18. 38

    ekufuposted 7 years ago

    That is some what of racism for me. Because if you appreciate God's creation, gou will acknowledge the fact that anybody can be anybody. So it does not matter your skin colour

    replyreport
19. 67

    yecallposted 7 years ago

    I think it all would depend on the intention.  What is the reason for not wanting to date anyone of the particular race?  Just as a man might like only a blond versus a brunette and this is not considered bad.  Therefore, the reasoning is the important thing.

    replyreport
20. 78

    Momina Arifposted 7 years ago

    Well dating anyone is a very personal thing I suppose, so what I think is that you shouldn't be stating it like 'i don't want to date black people' you should rather say I only date those who I think I would have a good understanding or i would be attracted to or anything that is more general rather than specific.
    PS: For a personal therapy( for not getting racist) you must know why don't you want to date a black person that might help you get to the reason rather than just stating on black people.

    replyreport
21. 82

    Stella Kayeposted 7 years ago

    It is entirely down to personal preference; nothing at all to do with racism.

    replyreport
22. 60

    Shehzad Mukhtarposted 7 years ago

    No, it isn't  racism.many black men dates with white girls.many black girls don't  like dates with white or wheatish men because of colour and many cases they mind.racism is something you don't accept other people culture in term wearing, eating relgious beliefs  etc.

    replyreport
    1. 61

       LELAND MICHAELposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       YOU ARE VERY WRONG...I BLACK WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ATTRACTED TO ME...AND I'AM MOST DEFINITELY WHITE...AND IT IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE BLACK WOMEN LOOKING FOR WHITE MEN PARTLY BECAUSE WHITE MEN TREAT THEM BETTER THAN THEIR MEN AND THAT IS A FACT..

       replyreport
23. 60

    helenstuartposted 7 years ago

    I read all the answers, and it seems like most people are REALLY reluctant to call a racist a racist. Maybe you don't know this, when you get married, the most important thing about your partner is that you should be in love with him and he should be in love with you. Not tv love. Real transcending love. And if you've ever had it, (and I doubt you have or you wouldn't cut out such a huge chunk of the population because it's VERY rare and it requires work between two bodies, minds, and spirits) you would know discounting potential soul mates, something few people find, on the basis of skin color is nothing but racist. If you disqualified all men over 40, that would be ageist. Do you get it? Marking people you've never met as irrelevant because of any sort of quality they cannot control is worse than superficial, it's denying yourself perhaps a full and happy life. And in this case, we're right back in the 1950's, "Of course the dear girl isn't racist, IT"S JUST NOT DONE!"  Just do your black "friends" a favor and tell them how you feel on this issue. See how many remain friends. Probably all of them. They've dealt with so much worse. I bet none of them want to marry you anyway.

    replyreport
    1. 59

       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Helen..psst! While I may agree w/ UR thoughts on racists limiting their base of many good people~4 future reference, Grace is a black woman. I've not known her 2 ask questions based upon her own personal experiences, but 4 feedback from readers.

       replyreport
    2. 60

       helenstuartposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Paula, I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Grace and I am not likely to remember her skin color in the future. But if you are going to play "Devil's advocate" (I know she does not actually advocate for the Devil either, you usually want all results

       replyreport
    3. 59

       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I have no desire to play Devil's advocate, Helen. I merely thought it important to know that Grace herself has never come off as racist, so I doubt this was her intention. That's all. Yes, all results are preferred.

       replyreport
    4. 0

       PeterStipposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I completely agree with you Helen, well said.

       replyreport
24. 72

    AshtonFireflyposted 7 years ago

    It's not inherent, no.
    
    If I am not attracted to a particular race, it doesn't mean that I am prejudiced or hate them. It just means I'm not attracted to that race.

    replyreport
25. 61

    Tarunpondersposted 7 years ago

    To me it seems more like a case of choice more than anything else. Not sure where Racism comes from.

    replyreport
26. 70

    Sandi Kroegerposted 7 years ago

    Racism implies hatred or a strong dislike. Personal preference is simply.... personal preference. No reason is needed for whom you may, or may not, want to date.

    replyreport
27. 91

    michelleonly3posted 7 years ago

    Racism is hating someone solely based on their race. Not dating people of a particular race is a preference. You simply may not be attracted to people of a certain race. Most of the things that are happening tin the US have more to do with social bias. Social bias is when you believe something about a person based on their race. Stereotypes fall into this category. People think that believing stereotypes makes a person racist, it doesn't, it just means they are culturally ignorant. Racism is hate.

    replyreport
28. 60

    Anxiety Problemsposted 7 years ago

    Personally I think racism has become such a massive subject, that people worry about it way too much. I cant say I have ever found someone who is coloured attractive, but I don't believe it makes me a racist. I am just not attracted to them, it doesn't change my equal views, nor would it stop me being friends with someone. Just because you don't see someone in a sexual manner doesn't mean you think any less of them. Not in my eyes anyway!

    replyreport
29. 91

    mactaversposted 7 years ago

    Dating should be based on common interests.  We don't understand attraction, but it is so different for each person.  To answer your question:  Would a preference for dating someone with red hair mean that you had something against blondes or brunettes?

    replyreport
30. 59

    fpherj48posted 7 years ago

    Unless a person adamantly makes it known that they would not date a certain race, none of us can see it as racist that he/she will date only people of their own ethnic origin.
    And unless one were to make it clear & obvious (verbally, vocally) it's not even possible for us to know "who" people will or will not date!
    Back in the day when I actually "dated," there were numerous reasons, both positive and negative why I might or might not date someone.  In all honesty, "race" was never even a consideration.  I dated a Dentist from Dominique, a business owner from Puerto Rico and........I was married for 13 years to a Native American.  I rest my case.

    replyreport
31. 59

    Stoyan Zidarovposted 7 years ago

    Rasist or nationalist? I've watched quite a few movies which clearly indicates that it is important Zwettl skin din man and his thinking. This is what makes a person a member aan a group of community uses and equal to all other rights in the code of human rights and clearly says that everyone is a member of a society after turning a certain age. But that did not mean that this person will stop is called such because it remains such until recently. Before and after a certain age to be able freely to decide their future. What is best for him.

    replyreport
32. 0

    jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years ago

    I would prefer that the term "race" is not used.  It seems to imply that a person with a dark coloured skin is a different species, usually inferior to one's own.
    We are all fully homo sapiens.  The only differences come from peoples living in different parts of the world, geographically.  The differences have come about because of climate, food sources, demands on life and physical challenges, passed on by our genes.
    The differences that will influence our choice of mate are mostly cultural.  The smell of garlic, body odours that result from various other foods, colour of hair, shape of nose, body shape and size, proportions, etc.  These are the factors which influence attraction.  Resulting choices are all geared towards mate-ship and eventually reproduction in many cases.
    Another strong factor which influences: Fear.  This is a primeval instinct, a caution towards anything which is different from the usual, might be a danger, can't be sure, so attack and/or avoid. 
    Getting to know ourselves and our desires is the first step towards acceptance of the Other.

    replyreport
33. 63

    dianetrotterposted 7 years ago

    A person should not eliminate a race specifically.  Many romances grow out of friendships and lead to marriage.  If a person has a friend that he/she really likes and will not date that person because of race, that is a real problem.  Question:  Do you like x?  Answer:  Yes, I really do  Question:  Why don't you ask him/her out?  Answer:  I can't.  The person is black/white/Hispanic/Asian

    replyreport
    1. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       ....or gay !

       replyreport
    2. 63

       dianetrotterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I don't know Jonny!  I have gone places with gay friends.  I didn't call it a date.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I bet you had a lovely time !

       replyreport
    4. 63

       dianetrotterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Yes!  Some of my students are adorable babes.  After they graduated, they became life long friends.

       replyreport
34. 0

    PeterStipposted 7 years ago

    Yes you a are a racist when you don't want to date somebody because he/she is black.
    However if you don't want to date somebody because you don't like him/her for other reasons then the colour but he/she happens to be black you are not a racist.

    replyreport
35. 0

    mohammed karjatposted 7 years ago

    Two people with same or similar cultures, faith and belief are more compatible than two of two very different cultures. So it is very reasonable to date a person of same culture, faith and belief. As dating could lead to furthering of relationships including marriage and a life living together, that is the obvious option. However, there are always exceptions and I am not averse to it.

    replyreport
36. 88

    Alphadogg16posted 7 years ago

    Absolutely not, Everyone is entitled their own wants, likes and dislikes. You can't force yourself to be attracted to some one of a different race. Not wanting to date a specific race may have a lot to do with your environment/upbringing, but it's definitely not racist.

    replyreport
37. 89

    Daniel17Whiteposted 7 years ago

    Being physically attracted to a certain race over other races does not make someone racist, it simply shows their preferences in who they would want to have a romantic relationship with. It would only be racist if someone would base their preferences on stereotypes about a certain race and/or expect them to act in a certain way because of their race. Long story short, date who you want to, it wont make you racist at all.

    replyreport
38. 68

    wrenchBiscuitposted 7 years ago

    
    
    Just like most men, my attraction to women is based on sex and companionship. Since I have dated both fat and skinny women I understand that I have no preference in this area. If I had only dated skinny women throughout my life, then yes, it could be considered a matter of preference. But that only begs the question: Why? Since both offer sex and companionship, then the only difference is in the way they look. Consequently, it would be evident that I found fat women unattractive. And there could be many reasons for this. But regardless of the reason, we could only conclude that I felt skinny women were better.
    
    Now, we can apply this to all other characteristics: hair color, eye color, race,IQ, etc.. If I had only dated white women throughout my life to the exclusion of all other available races, then I would most certainly be racist. Since all races offer sex and companionship, my personal preference could only be based on racism, as race would be  the only difference. There is no other way to look at it. But be of good cheer. The United States is one of the most racist countries in the world. If you only want to date white men or white women, it simply means you are in step with the majority.
    
    However, there is an element of racism that makes sense on a higher level. When you look at the Indigenous population in North America you see that we are nearly extinct. This is not only because of war and disease, but also because of miscegenation. There are very few full bloods left, and a majority who were not raised on a reservation are mixed with white and black ancestry. Miscegenation is like high blood pressure. It is the silent killer of races. From the perspective of a race that is nearly extinct, race mixing is the final stage in a system of genocide. Now, with the "browning" of America, the white man faces a similar dilemma. Good Luck!

    replyreport
    1. 83

       dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       You made some valid points. However I don't think people need to worry about their race disappearing.
       Ultimately we're all part of the "human race"!
       A Porsche Carrera GT in any color is a Porsche Carrera GT.

       replyreport
    2. 68

       wrenchBiscuitposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       "Human Race" notwithstanding, true wealth is in the diversity of life. During the last 40 years 11 species of animal have become extinct. The extinction of a culture, or race of people is no less a tragedy.

       replyreport
    3. 83

       dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I don't believe most people approach mating with the idea of needing to preserve their race or culture. If they meet someone where they share values, a mutual attraction, and the chemistry is there they go for it! 
       Life is a (personal) journey

       replyreport
    4. 68

       wrenchBiscuitposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       I agree. The majority behave like livestock. Grazing and breeding are their primary concerns. Ironically, their personal pursuit of happiness only diminishes the potential of happiness for future generations.

       replyreport
39. 59

    BassPuppetposted 7 years ago

    No, some of us are attracted naturally to the type of person we want to be with and race has nothing to do with it if you are generally good to other races.  We get fixated on specific features that satisfy our eyes that knock us to our knees and make us smile.  Btw, I am a Chicana and native but married a white guy (too many euro races to list and 2nd marriage) and it's all good but 1st marriage with my own but didn't work out.  You know what you want and like, a relationship has to be compatible.

    replyreport
40. 79

    realtalk247posted 7 years ago

    Interesting question. I believe people are attracted to certain features and that is understandable but for fun let's investigate your question on a deeper level.
    "Say a white person does not want to date black people. However, that white person has black friends, and respects black people as equal human beings."
    If one respects others as equals then why specifically say I don't want to date (fill in the blank).  If one truly respects a group of people as equal then perhaps they are equally date worthy.  Why not black-stereotypes?  If your friends represent your likes and interests then why do you not feel other races could have similar likes and interests? 
    
    Does the doll test still apply with your natural preference based on conditioning? 
    Curious? Do you 'respect' black people but find their features to be unattractive despite similar lifestyles and interests? 
    I'm not saying you need to date black people to prove anything but sounds like "they" are OK as friends but never OK as mates. Many people practice this unspoken rule even if they date minorities-it's ok to "explore" this interest but when it comes to choosing a mate and creating children stick with your own.
    
    To each their own. Attraction is important but in all the shades, colors, body shapes, educational levels, achievements- Why do you particularly say NO WAY to black people?  Interesting.
    
    I do not feel your desire not to date black people makes you racist. I just hope your desire is not based on stereotypes and negative images delivered via media outlets to perpetuate undesirable images of a group of people.

    replyreport
41. 95

    Zeron87posted 7 years ago

    Considering the circumstances you stated above, I would say that individual is not racist.  I believe the reasoning would determine whether the decision is racist or not.  If someone doesn't  want to date Black people because of preconceived notion they believe present in all Blacks (like... say, a stereotype), then that would be racist.  However, if they're simply not attracted to Black people, then what can you do?  Every person knows what turns them on, and if a Black person doesn't do it, then that's that.  I believe the psychology behind the reasoning would determine whether the root is racist or not.  However, even with that in mind, one has the right to date whomever he or she wants, no matter the reason. Of course, the relationship being healthy and mutually beneficial would be a big plus...

    replyreport
42. 68

    Terrexposted 7 years ago

    Of course not!
    That's like saying refusing to date a Christian means you are guilty of a hate crime!
    People need to relax - if a person does not want to date you, move on, please. Whining and begging to be viewed as a suitor hints at your own self-loathing and an inferiority complex.

    replyreport
43. 71

    word55posted 7 years ago

    No, it is not racist. It should simply be a preference. If a person of a race or culture desires to go out on dates or desires not to go out on dates with one of another race or so, then there is no racism. There is nothing to substantiate racism except someone outside making a deal of it.

    replyreport
44. 56

    im-aryanposted 7 years ago

    it's not racist but , only till your are not hurting the person's feeling because of his race.

    replyreport
45. 61

    Edge Valmondposted 7 years ago

    No it is not racist. If a person does not date a particular race. It means the symmetry of the race does not appeal to them. Human's mate to reproduce like any other animal. Symmetry is one way to make it I suppose easier. Some people find a particular pattern within the facial structure much more attractive. Once that has been initiated,it causes a chemical to be secreted within the brain. I suppose well this is one reason why rape exist,but getting off point. In short if one person secretes the chemical but another does not,then it won't work. Since the other person would refuse. Now if both secretes the chemical then it would work. So it is not racist to not date a particular race,it's more or less scientific,meaning that the symmetry of the person affects the decision one would make.

    replyreport
    1. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Rape is not a crime of passion; it is hateful violence that simply takes on a sexual nature. Men who rape despise women, so they don't choose them for their beauty.

       replyreport
    2. 61

       DionesiaPposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       What you're saying could make sense but I don't agree for the simple fact that one doesn't know all people that pertain to a race. All black people have different features and don't look like what media/tv portrays as a black person.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       jonnycomelatelyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Aa

       replyreport
    4. 0

       PeterStipposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Completely mumbo jumbo. It's racist if you use the colour of skin as a reason not to date some one. We're not even talking about sex or a relationship, just a date.

       replyreport
46. 82

    PDXBuysposted 7 years ago

    No it is not racist.  People are free to date whomever they want.  In fact, it is human nature to seek out a mate who is similar to oneself.   On the other hand, dating someone very different can be enlightening and exciting.  But, in the end, it is a personal choice.

    replyreport
47. 61

    LELAND MICHAELposted 7 years ago

    I'D HAVE TO SAY YES...UNLESS LIKE YOU'RE SAY'S DON'T WANT TO DATE...IF IT SAID WILL NOT THEN I'D SAY 100% RACIST...NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTIVE YOU ARE TO THIS BLACK PERSON...NO MATTER HOW NICE AND KIND SMART AND EDUCATED YOU WILL NOT OR DON'T WANT TO...THERE IS A DIFFERENCE....AND NOW READING ALL OF YOU'RE QUESTION IS SEE YOU SAY YOU NEED TO BE ATTRACTED TO THE PERSON...WELL AS I SAID THEN IT'S NOT THAT YOU'LL NEVER IT'S YOU DON'T WANT TO....WELL THEN I'D SAY NO YOU ARE NOT A RACIST...I HATE MOST PEOPLE BUT LOVE EVERY ANIMAL ESPECIALLY DOGS...I'D SAY I'AM RACIST AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE....LOL

    replyreport
48. 66

    Mick Beetposted 7 years ago

    Only skin colour....who gives...ps my blog..usa who gives for gun control..
    http://hubpages.com/politics/Gun-laws-i … -should-go

    replyreport
49. 76

    graveyard-roseposted 7 years ago

    It is not racist. It is just a preference, like dating people with red hair or not wanting to date someone taller than you. That's all. As long as there is equality, it is all preference.

    replyreport
50. 90

    NateB11posted 7 years ago

    No, not racist, just a preference. That was the end of my answer, to the point and concise, but I got a message that my answer was too short and to make it longer. Sheesh.
    
    Anyway, racism is the belief that one race is superior to others. Wanting to date a certain type and not other types is a preference. No one can tell you who you'd like to date.That would be weird and controlling and no one can tell you what or whom you like.

    replyreport