Nobody cares, I know, but first mother-of-the-bride goose bumps

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  1. Lisa HW profile image58
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    I know nobody else on here cares about this, but I had to share anyway... 

    My daughter and her fiance announced their engagement awhile ago, so the fact that my only daughter (youngest child) is getting married is far from news for me.  Yet..

    Awhile ago I just got an e.mail from my "girl", asking if I can make it to an appointment at the bridal shop Saturday - for gown-looking, shopping, etc.  Suddenly, after months, it all became a little more real - and from out of the blue came goose bumps I'd never have expected.  Gee.  I thought I was so cool about this whole thing.   hmm

    I suppose I should get ready to hang on between now and next year.  I'm starting to get the idea it all may well be a very goose-bumpy ride.   hmm

    1. CASE1WORKER profile image68
      CASE1WORKERposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Lisa- I can imagine how you are feeling- my daughters are 21 and 19 so I have it all to come- Mum of the bride is such a position and we all want to get it right- no wonder you have goose bumps

      1. Lisa HW profile image58
        Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Somehow it just didn't seem real.  I guess I thought it did and that I was "cool" about it - then the goose-bumps after a simple e.mail!  roll  Who knew?   lol   (She's 26 and marrying her long-time boyfriend, so I'm happy that all is how I'd always have hoped it would be.  I don't know...  I would have thought I'd have been a little more goose-bump resistant at this early stage in the game.  smile )

        CASE1WORKER, you're the first to hear (read, actually) the goose-bump story.  (As you can imagine, I'll be sharing it a few zillion more times over the next several months.   lol  )

        1. cindi h profile image69
          cindi hposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          Lisa I actually envy you.  It's a long story but my 19 year old daughter, who is wonderful btw and we have a great relationship, moved to New Mexico to be with her boyfriend last week. After three days there, she phoned me to tell me they were getting married in two days time. Well they did and I was not even a part of it. Actually no one was, it was just the two of them on a mountain top with the JP and two friends as witnesses.  I love her dearly and wish the best for them but my heart is so broken. I always imagined my daughter's wedding and looked so forward to the goose-bumpiness of it all!!   You'll be okay and

          1. Lisa HW profile image58
            Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            cindi h, I've had "that one" too, only it was my eldest son.  He and his girlfriend were "young loves", went out for a year, and decided to get married when he was 21 and she was 20.  Like you, I wanted them to be happy and was glad they had each other; but it was "kind of stinky" not too have any kind of wedding at all.  Theirs wasn't even a mountain top.  It was a city hall type of thing.  Their marriage lasted until they grew up a little more (5 years, no children because they knew they weren't ready for that, which I'm grateful for).  So now, my eldest son is back to square one, and we get to pretend it never happened.  lol  lol   

            I know what you mean about "heartbroken", though.    The combination of both "young" and "no wedding" is hard to take.  hmm   (On a brighter note, I have a friend who met her husband at 18, left home to marry and be with him at some military base, and remains happily married today; I guess, 35 or so years later.)  (I can't say that for myself.  lol   )

            Last week is pretty recent.   If you're at all like I was when my son got married, it won't take as long as you may imagine it will to make a little more peace with the situation.   Oh...  when all is said and done, all we really care about is that they're happy.  That's what gets us through one or another of this type of thing.  smile

            1. cindi h profile image69
              cindi hposted 8 years agoin reply to this

              Oh don't get me wrong.  She seems very happy at the moment and I guess that's all any of us can hope for-the happy moments. I have every confidence that no matter where life takes her, she'll do well. The hardest part for me is the obsessive compulsion to dwell in my memories of times gone by. The reality of the nest becoming empty is just so heart wrenching right now, I'm entering a new phase of my life that I'm not quite sure how to deal with.

    2. billabongbob profile image70
      billabongbobposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have 4 daughters and the eldest 2 are getting married within the next 6 months.

      Daughter number 2 is the first one, in just over 7 weeks.  It's all go go go right now, there's a lot to do.

      I didn't go wedding dress shopping with her, her sisters did.  I did however go to her dress fitting a couple of weeks ago.  The dress had to be made in Milan and took months to arrive.  At the bridal shop, she put the dress on, with the shoes she had bought and came out of the dressing room.  I was blown away by the stunning sight and was for once in my life speechless.

      I'm not a weepy kind of person, but there was nothing I could do to stop the unexpected tears of..........??  Pride, joy, not entirely sure if the truth be told, but I was totally blown away.

      I'm divorced, so being mother-of-the-bride has more responsibilities than if there was a Dad around.  Some of the duties are daunting, but she's my girl and I will not let her down. She is relying on me for many things and I'm delighted to be playing such a huge role in my daughters wedding.

    3. leahlefler profile image96
      leahleflerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so excited for you! I have two little boys, so I'll never be the "mother of the bride," but it has to be very exciting (and moving) to see your child get married. Have fun dress shopping!

  2. rebekahELLE profile image87
    rebekahELLEposted 8 years ago

    How exciting for you. Last year I was the mother of the groom and what a ride it was. I used to tease the mother of the bride telling her I was thankful to have two sons. But she has one daughter and it was so special for her. I'm sure you will share some very special moments and some crazy, 'why didn't I have sons' moments! My daughter in law even went shopping with me for my dress.

    You will feel so much love and pride for your daughter.

    1. Lisa HW profile image58
      Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm happy for her.  She deserves to be happy.  I know a lady with 4 married daughters.  4, I guess, makes a mother-of-the-bride an "old hand" at it.  Having only one daughter makes it "one-chance-to-do-it-right" kind of thing (or at least that's how it feels).  smile

      I know mother-of-the-bride is a "background" kind of thing, but I'm now beginning to worry about what kind of dress I'll get to wear.  My daughter and I both agree that it needs to be the perfect mid-ground between "old fuddy-duddy" and "ten cents a dance"/"floozy".   big_smile

      billabongbob,   I can imagine it must be hard if a daughter's (or son's) father isn't around and in the picture much.  Fortunately, even though I'm divorced from her father, my daughter's father and I remain very much "together" when it comes to the kids.

      1. billabongbob profile image70
        billabongbobposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Finding the right dress for me to wear has now become an imminent mission lol.  With not many weeks left to find the most perfect, stunning dress I can find, I will then need to find matching shoes and bag.  Oh my lol.

        I have been waiting for the big stores to have their autumn clothes in, as the wedding is at the end of October.  So the time is NOW!!!  I need to get a move on it, as the whole ensemble needs to be just right.  I need to feel amazing as well as look fabulous on that day. 

        I'm pleased to say that I'm super excited big_smile big_smile

  3. schoolgirlforreal profile image81
    schoolgirlforrealposted 8 years ago

    Hi Lisa!

    I don't have any kids of my own, but I'm happy for you!

    Getting married is excitng, and I went to my niece's wedding, she's 23, a couple years ago and it was beautiful.

    congrats!!! smile smile

    1. Lisa HW profile image58
      Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      schoolgirlforreal, thank you.   I used to love it when I was at the age when my friends were getting married, and I got to be in their weddings.  Then everyone was through with getting married, and there weren't any (at least in my life).    They're just kind of nice because they're happy occasions.  I'm looking forward to the next several months.   smile

    2. Lisa HW profile image58
      Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this


      1. Lisa HW profile image58
        Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Oops.  Technical problems wouldn't let the first reply in, then did, then wouldn't let the second one, then did - that type of thing.

  4. JherusiaLhean profile image59
    JherusiaLheanposted 8 years ago

    I guess my mum and dad feel the same as you do Lisa, I am turning 25 after two months and having wonderful relationship, and sometimes I could see my mum suddenly  and telling me not get marry. I am the only child then.

    1. Lisa HW profile image58
      Lisa HWposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh..  I'd never try to tell my daughter not to get married.  She's happy.  What I've discovered since my kids are grown is that, when all is said and done, the only way I can be happy is if they are happy and healthy (no matter how old they are).  No matter how close we are to our children (still young or all grown up), most parents (I think) are happiest when they know their child is happy and healthy.   smile  There's that famous saying for parents:  "Give your child just two things.  One is roots.  The other, wings."  How meaningful that saying is becomes far more clear once we have our own, grown, children.  smile


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