letting a teen experiment

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   Maun and Squantoposted 13 years ago

   what do you think? is a parent being too strict with their child when they won't allow them to date until they feel like they're emotionally or mentally mature? is a parent being too loose when they let their child date at a young age. how active should parents be in their child's life. is it okay for a young lady to devote her life to a single boy? and how far is too far?

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      couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No, no, no it's not ok for a young girl to devote her life to a single boy.  She should have a clear and competent male figure (father, brother, uncle) in her life and a confident and self fulfilled female role model.  Then when she is old enough, she'll pick the right mate.  Boys are not suitable for girls.  Boys can really mess girls up emotionally, mentally.  A girl needs to grow and mature before she meets the dating world.  Boys are still (unfortunately for them) trapped in the prehistoric world of mating at puberty to preserve the species.

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         RoseAsauresRexposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         i agree.

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      SimeyCposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      A teenager will date regardless of what their parents say - you can't watch them 24-7, they'll find a way to meet up with a boyfriend or girlfriend no matter how strict you are or how strict the rules are.
      
      What you can do, from a very early age, is to teach your child morals, and self respect - teach them that it is not OK for someone to 'abuse' their space if they don't want them to - teach them about relationships, and how there should be respect and trust etc.
      
      The more you talk to them at an early age (of course discussions for a five year old will be totally different for a twelve year old) and reinforce values etc the better...

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   RoseAsauresRexposted 13 years ago

   hmmmm let me post a scenario i heard this on the radio from a pastor talk show and i really had to agree with it: you have two neighbors one has a daughter of hmmm lets say 15 and the other neighbor has a son of hmm lets say 17. well the 17 year old goes up to neighbor "A"'s (we'll just call him) daughter and asks her out. of course being a concerned dad neighbor "A" steps in and says no. well the next day neighbor "B" goes up to neighbor "A" and says , "hey pal whats the big idea why wont you let my son go out with your daughter? don't you think youre being a little strict. loosen up." so neighbor "A" thinks about it and says "hey your son is old enough to drive right?" neighbor "B" shrugs and goes , "sure" so then neighbor "A" being the smarty that he is goes " why don't you let your son drive that nice red, shiny mustang of yours?" well neighbor "B" freaks out and starts shouting ," ARE YOU CRAZY THATS MY PRECIOUS CAR HE MIGHT HURT OR DAMAGE IT!" so neighbor "A" goes ," do you get my point? if you cant even trust your son with a car how can i trust your son with my daughter. and how much more precious is my daughter to me than your car. cars can be fixed and replaced but children can not. you freak out when i ask you to let your son drive the car because your worried that he might hurt it, yet you say i need to loosen up and let my daughter hook up with your son when she is obviously of more value than a car, dont you think im worried that she too might get hurt or damaged?"   
   personaly i think that parents should hold onto their children and have a certain control in their dating relationships ecspecially in this sex crazed generation. to many young people base love off of sex and outward appearence when there is more , much more to it than that. no one wants to see their children getting hurt or becomeing teen parents and having to struggle in life. please parents be more involved with your child's life they need you more than  ever even when they may think that they dont.

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      seamistposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I love that minister's analogy!!! Thank you for sharing it.

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   Emile Rposted 13 years ago

   Emotionally and mentally mature? You're talking about teen agers. They'd never get to date.
   
   Of course a teen should be allowed to date. With rules firmly adhered to. And you can't force a child to play the field. I'm not sure why you would want to.

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      habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I pretty much agree with this. Some of the worst teens I've known had super strict parents. A teenager can never become trustworthy if you don't give them a chance to earn your trust.

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   stylezinkposted 13 years ago

   No teenager whether boy or girl should "devote" themselves to anyone. They are not mature enough and way to young to think about devoting their lives to anyone.
   
   As far as 'dating' goes they're going to do it when they want to regardless of what the parent tells them. So either have it happen and know about, or have it happen behind your back. The only thing you can do is make sure as the parent your child knows what to do in certain situations and the consequences behind them.

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