If your parents were strict, were you thankful/resentful and what lessons did you learn from
I actually wrote a whole hub on this! lol My parents were very strict, in fact my mother was quite controlling. I'm not resentful, although I used to be. I've come to the realization that I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not had the childhood that I did.
I think I learned how to be independent and ironically, think for myself. I also gained my integrity and work ethic from my parents, for which I'm quite thankful. My childhood was rough though.
You keep asking very sensitive questions, but I like you so I'll answer. My father was very strict, once he actually whipped me with his belt because he felt I had done something wrong. My mother was on the other side of the scale, almost none existent. As you can tell they had issues so my parents can't count but for what to avoid. Children, on the other hand, need parents who show their love by being there, being interested in their children's lives and guiding them. That means that if the child is too young to stay out till 11, the parent has an obligation to be strict about that. Children whose parents are exemplary mothers and fathers understand the why; if they don't the parents need to explain. Did I turn out to be a good mother? After psychotherapy I found myself and became a great mother. My kids told me they always loved me----children are God's miracle.
Your father was beyond strict, he was downright abusive. No child should go through what you have went through. My heart goes out to you. When I mean strict, I mean parents who establish certain parameters but are still loving towards the kids
My parents were strict and were never easy on us. Living under the house rules taught us to behave how teens should always be like coming home before the angelus, going out in proper attire, first things first before dating, etc. There were times we'd wonder why things have to be that imposed, yet me and siblings never were resentful. What I am now is a thing I'll always be so grateful for having been raised the way my parents did and I see this as almost exactly the same thing we would want our children to become.
My parents were pretty strict. I'm mostly grateful now because I learned to be self-disciplined (mainly to avoid punishment at the time...). That discipline has helped me to be a more successful adult.
I was given great responsibility from my father and step-mother when I visited. My brothers and I cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner and did almost all of the housecleaning while they worked full time jobs. I resented it back then...until I married a guy whose father walked around picking everything up after him until he was 25. I have struggled greatly to get him to be more responsible in that area and it's pointless. They also bailed him out financially so I think he has relied more on that than doing it himself, wheras my parents never bailed me out financially and now I see that I'm much more responsible than he is in both of those areas. Not cutting him down, but being married to him makes me greatful that my parents were the way they are. I teach my step-children the same way. Their mother lets them sit on the computer and in front of the tv all the time and asks nothing of them unless they volunteer. I do not want them growing up to be irresponsible and someone who causes others stress. I'm very greatful for certain aspects of how hard on me my parents were.
My mother was very strict, she would not let me take part in any school sports, or activities, such as music, or go to hardly any school dances. She used a belt, or what she could get her hands on and liked pulling my hair all the time. I was made to do the housework for 7 people. I became so run down that I got mononeucleuosis and was in bed for 2 months. The doctor told my mother to take me home and put me in bed till I get well if she wanted me to live. I only weighed 98 lbs when I graduated from High School. I could hardly eat anything when I was home. My father was not like that to me. He did not know most of what went on in the house as he was out flying or farming most of the time. Yes, I was not only scared of going home everyday, it made me run away from home when I was 12 years old. I learned not to treat my children like that. I learned that hate and envy are a terrible thing, I saw it over and over. There was no love, no hugging or touching in a kind way. No complimenting in a nice way, no thanking for all the work I did for her growing up. There was either silence or screaming most of the time. I was also made to go to work outside the home at the age of 14 1/2 to buy my own clothes so my parents did not have to buy them anymore. The other syblings did not hold down a job like I did and go to school at the sametime. I cried in my pillow at night alot. It was very painful and I still have ptsd about it, after all these years. The only thing good that came out of my childhood was the fact that I grew closer to God and took refuge in his words in the little New Testament Bible I had received from going to Bible school at the age of 6. To this day my sister does not speak to me nor my two older brothers. I love the Lord and they don't. I was the 2nd child but oldest daughter. I wrote a hub and I was told to erase it, that it was too painful for our readers.
There is alot more that happened that I have not mentioned here.
There were 5 children
My scalp was torn loose from my skull in one instance and I was taken to emergency as it was hemoraging thru the scalp.
Just from being drug around by my hair all the time.
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