Should A Father Ask About The Status Of His Daughters' Virginity?

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   Menjia_Roseposted 12 years ago

   Should a father ask his son/daughter about their virginity?  Should family members know the status of another family members sexual status?

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   Shanna11posted 12 years ago

   If my father asked me that, I think that would constitute our most embarrassing father-daughter discussion ever. I still squirmed like an eel when he gave me the "make good choices" talk right before he dropped me off at college. And I have a really good relationship with my dad, too! I really think its no one's business but your own.

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   Stacie Lposted 12 years ago

   This reeks of the old The double standard and the view of woman as property

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      Shanna11posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's what I was thinking. It reminds me of those awful 'honor' killings in the Middle East. Absolutely heinous!

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I totally concur!   I have never heard of such a question before in my life!

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   CJ Andrewsposted 12 years ago

   A person doesn't need to make it obvious, but it seems like if someone isn't willing to talk to loved ones about it then they are hiding something.  I have heard that the average age of losing virginity has dropped to 14 - the research I have found says 16.4 is the average age (from 2005 or so).  Can someone this age raise a child emotionally or financially in today's society?  NO
   
   I would say that maybe more parents need to be talking to their children.  A high school child getting pregnant is bad and that is the chance they are taking when they decide to have sex.  And all the psychology behind having sex and what it does to a relationship or rather lack of a relationship is generally not considered either.  Too many people have sex too early.  I think a family should be able to talk about sex openly - talk about anything openly.

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      couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      IMO, a grown man with children should be able to tell, without asking, when his daughter has become a woman. There are many signs.

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         CJ Andrewsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Same with his son?

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            couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Absolutely. There's the rare child that disguises it well. It has to do with the walk, the unwillingness to look you in the eye when the subject is on the table in general conversation. The male/male dominance thing could be off-putting, though. Teens battle their same sex parent. Girls are easier to spot because she will be moody and defensive often without provocation. It's due to guilt and the lack of someone with authority to talk to about her mistakes, problems with 'boys'.

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               psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Them most of my cohort in high school were very rare.  I mean having rubber your genitals together for the first time is not really such a life-changing experience IMHO. In my case my parents seem to assume I was not a virgin many years before this was the case.

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   chanrothposted 12 years ago

   Grown men should be able to tell...like couturepopcafe said, there are many signs.

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   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   No, be he should ensure she understands reproduction, contraception and preventative health care.

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   lav-seniorposted 11 years ago

   No! No! No! No! I'm 26 and having found an out of date condom under my bed, not to mention the fact that I was in a relationship for a year and a half, I'm pretty sure that daddy knows I'm officially a woman............does he need to know since when? Hell to the no! Parents need to have the chat and teach their kids to play safe but never know when it happens because in the same way as kids don't like to think their parents have sex, parents DEFINITELY don't like to think their little cherubs do it either. Simple as.

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      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      ++++++ a multillion times.    There are some parents who still believe that their children are well children who should not be interested in, let alone be indulging in sex.   They still view their children no matter how old they are as little, innocent children!  The thought that their near adult and young adult children are sexual actually unhinges many parents!

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   Sweetsusiegposted 11 years ago

   I would think it would depend on the way it is approached.  If Dad has been very active in his child's life and there is good communication to start with then of course it is an appropriate question/discussion, providing the child is comfortable. 
   
   My husband is a truck driver therefore wasn't around much, when it came to such questions he avoided them like the plague.  Even to the point of them having boyfriends/girlfriends he would just say "You're too young".  He wanted to think that they were still innocent little children. 
   
   I had a very open line of communication with my children yet this one subject seem elusive to us, though all others were open.  Many times I had broached the subject only to be shooed away with words like "Oh no Mom, I'm not ready for that!!"  Even with those words I knew the deed had been done.  Attitudes changed etc...
   
   Communication is key in any good relationship and should never be dismissed.  Teenagers truly need LOTS of talking and acceptance.

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