Friending spouse on facebook or not?

1. 83

   elayne001posted 14 years ago

   I was talking to a friend the other day and she mentioned she wouldn't friend her husband on facebook.  She said she needed the Internet to be her little place where she could get away. But her husband thinks that it is part of marriage to share things and believes she should add him as a friend. Should the woman add her husband on facebook?

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      EstrangedDaughterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think yes. If you're married to somebody, they should be considered one of your friends.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i have to agree with emieevil here who said it's really up to the couple to compromise. 
      
      For me personally, I wouldn't care.  if my gf/wife/fiance or whatever wanted to be friends with me on facebook, i would just add them.  besides, i'm only on there to promote my hubs anyway, so i'm hardly on there at all.  plus, i have little hide!  lol.  besides, i think most couples that feel the need to be friends with each other on facebook do it out of fear that their lover will cheat on them online.  it's understandable.  Although I would caution my gf/wife/fiance that for one, I doubt she'd ever have anything to worry about.  besides, in order for one to cheat on you, you have to be desirable to a lot of girls. I'm not, as i doubt any girl would want me.  lol.  therefore, i doubt this would ever be a problem.  although i would be flattered if she thought it would be, as i can just think of the load of jokes i could make about that. maybe i'll put on a bathrobe and smoke a cigar, while pretending to be hugh hefner or something to mess with her.  sure, she'll probably kill me, but it'll be so worth it for laughs.  lol.  by the way, i don't have a gf/wife/fiance, so this is something that wouldn't apply to me anyway.  however, im just speaking hypothetically here, folks.

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2. 60

   ediggityposted 14 years ago

   I know a guy who wouldn't friend his mom. Wow, was she mad!  As for the husband wife thing, of course she should friend him.  It just makes it look like she has something to hide by not befriending.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

   ...i think it is okay for a person to do their own thing...maybe she should try something else rather than facebook since hubby wants to connect there with her....compromise.

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4. 68

   emievilposted 14 years ago

   I would say it depends on the couple. They definitely need to reach an agreement on this otherwise it might cause one or both parties to think somebody's hiding something from the other person.
   
   I didn't add my husband as my 'friend' in FB and vice versa. But he can see my monitor when I'm in FB, same thing goes for me looking at his FB account whenever he has it open. We have our own accounts with our own set of 'friends' and this works out fine for us.
   
   On the other hand, my friend added her spouse as her 'friend' in FB. She can even access his account. To each his or her (or the couple's) own, I guess.

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5. 80

   Benjimesterposted 14 years ago

   Haha, that's pretty classic.  As a non Facebook user, stuff like that just makes me chuckle.  Sorry that this response isn't helpful in any way, shape or form.

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      DoorMattnomoreposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        I was going to say something like that....
      
      how about couples TALK to each other?

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6. 74

   sofsposted 14 years ago

   My husband is my friend on face book , but I stopped using it long before he got on to it, we hardly use it.. My son is my friend on FB and writes some lovely stuff to me from time to time.

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   Garrett Mickleyposted 14 years ago

   I would find that odd.  As someone above said, it seems to me she has something to hide.

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   TamCorposted 14 years ago

   I can't even imagine not having my husband "friended" on Facebook! We're always joking around on there, and our kids and extended family are on there...why the heck wouldn't you want your spouse to share in the fun????
   
   But, that's just my opinion...

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9. 85

   wychicposted 14 years ago

   It is up to each person's preference, I would think, though it sounds like it could cause a problem in the relationship in this particular situation. Personally, my husband is added on my Facebook, as are many other family members. It makes it a lot more fun to me, we have a lot of friends in common so we get to see the comments we've left for others and it allows us to join in each other's conversations. We each still have our own corners of the internet...he loves his news sites, I have my writing sites, Etsy, and the long hair community.

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10. 0

    Rhysjcposted 14 years ago

    I most definitely think she should friend him, but then again it's up to her.

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11. 0

    TechTrendyposted 14 years ago

    Does seem kind of odd not to want to "Friend" someone your married too but maybe that is her own little "personal" cyber escape.

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12. 40

    Mikeydoesposted 14 years ago

    People take facebook way too serious. But if you are married and they want to be your friend on facebook you really should. Go to Myspace if you want your own space.

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       DoorMattnomoreposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       or the bathroom.....

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13. 82

    Jaynie2000posted 14 years ago

    If my spouse were into FB I'd friend him. We have nothing to hide.

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14. 68

    Cheeky Girlposted 14 years ago

    My partner hasn't the faintest interest in Facebook or Twitter or MySpace, and doesn't see the point. So we are very happy indeed! Works for both of us! Just don't let Facebook come between two people. What if it was not Facebook, and instead it was a mobile phone or some thing like that? If the same mistrust issue arose, then there's your answer. Facebook has its uses, but what do we want it for really? Each person has their own motivation for wanting an account. I presume Hubbers want back links...

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Cheeky, hiya!!!

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15. 68

    Abbasangelposted 14 years ago

    My Husband and I are friends on Facebook, and a little while ago I noticed that we don't really write anything about each other at all (once I noticed that I started posting little things here and there that still kept with my own flow.)
    
    I like being friends with him on Facebook and he likes being mine. We have an awesome relationship, but the things you post on facebook are sometime things that are quickly forgotten, so its nice to see the lighter and funnier side of eachother too...
    
    I think feet all in!!! Friends, lovers, confidants, and married all together.

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       Sekhargposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       The answer is YES and NO.
       
       Depends on individual preference. Some couples, even though they are wife and husband, they have their own separate lives, friends and hobbies. They may not like their spouse watching on their shoulder on what s/he is doing on social media websites or with their email accounts.
       
       Foe other couples, their life is more like an open book for each other. They like to login to each other email and bank accounts. So there is no hard and fast rule on whether somebody should friend their spouse on social media sites.

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16. 61

    alextsuiposted 14 years ago

    Reading all these (sometimes funny) comments remind me of that line in a song "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?"
    
    Really, how can couples keep a marriage going strong if they can't even share through an online social network? All the best married friends that I have are first and foremost good friends with their spouses.

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    Assassin Fredposted 14 years ago

    If you are married with nothing to hide, then yes, you should friend your spouse on Facebook. If you don't, it's VERY obvious that there is a reason why, other than wanting your personal space. His wife is probably up to no good, or is engaging in inappropriate behavior / conversations with former partners that she doesn't want him to see.
    
    Facebook can add to the fulfillment of a relationship if done wisely, respectfully, and done by common agreement between husband and wife. If you have nothing to hide, what harm will it do? You can always edit security settings to disable priviledges, etc... but to not friend your own spouse?

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    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    See all the people on here who think if someone doesn't share every last little thing with someone else in his life it looks as if the person has something to hide?  They're precisely the reason other people prefer to keep some things to themselves.     Some people just like to have a little room to themselves in this life.  Others think there's something suspicious if everyone doesn't share every last little thing in life with a spouse or family members.  People who think everyone has to share everything are suffocating to people who think everyone needs a little something that's just his own, individual, thing.  People who think there can't be the simple thing of just not wanting your spouse or relatives involved in every last little thing in your life don't get it, and live on a completely different wavelength than people who like to have a shred of something that's just their's.  Better the privacy-favoring person just say she doesn't want to "friend" someone than set up two separate Facebook pages just to make the "suffocating" person feel better. 
    
    I have a Facebook page just to be able to see any photographs any relatives have to share.  There's little on it, but it's there.  Sometimes I de-activate it if I'm in the mood not to have my name on Facebook at all.  Then I have a page under my "professional" name, and I only use that for writing-related stuff (when it isn't de-activated because I'm in a non-Facebook/non-public mood).  Basically, anything I'd put on Facebook is stuff I save "for the public" anyway, and I wouldn't share anything I care about at all, including any real communication between friends/relatives on there.  I'm a non-sharer who creates the impression that I'm a "sharer" (two Facebook pages  ).   (If I ever plan to have anything to hide I won't be posting things about it on the Internet.       In the meantime, the potential suffocators of the world get to be happy and think I'm "sharing".     )

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19. 0

    Assassin Fredposted 14 years ago

    It's not about suffocating and privacy, it's about love, trust, and mutual respect. The question that needs to be ansered here, is this:
    
    If you spouse is your true love, soul mate, best friend, and confidant (like they should be), why would there be any aspect of your life that you would not want to share with that person?
    
    I can understand privacy matters when it comes to brothers, sisters, mom, dad, and other extended family members. Of course you don't want these people to know every last detail of your life, such as when you wake up on Saturday morning with a hangover of terrifying proportions.
    
    Your spouse on the other hand (in my opinion) should have every right to see your every emotional tyrade on Facebook, or whatever medium you choose to vent on. This is your best friend for life we are talking about, your partner in crime.
    
    It doesn't mean the spouse / s/o needs to post, reply, or "like" every single entry on your wall, now this might be considered "suffocating"...
    
    Opinions are like an anus, everyone has one, but some peoples might smell worse than the others. My opinion on this topic is pretty much summed up as: If you are unable or unwilling to share personal details like shared on facebook with your spouse or significant other, then you aren't quite ready to make that committment.
    
    I do think the second profile is is great idea for work associates. Sometimes it can be harmful or just not a good idea to mix work associates with family and friends on one social networking site.

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    izettlposted 14 years ago

    I think it's stupid. Spouses whould build and maintain a relationship and friendship in person. Did you know statistics are saying that  you and your spouse are on facebook, you can raise your likelihood of divorce up to 70% instead of the average 50%? Should you be friends with your spouse? Yes. On FB? no.

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