Really, WHAT IS LOVE?

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   blaqcheriposted 13 years ago

   Hell, at 39 years of age I still couldn't tell you what love even looks like. I have been in quite a few relationships and the only good thing from any of them is I am still alive and my child. I was raised in a family that was always to busy to show affection yet that is all I sought. In my family affection is bought and sold. The price was high at times but when it dropped trust you went broke. So as I have grown older and really taking at hard look at my life I realized I to did what my family did. As long as I was shelling out the bucks I was Queen of the world. When things changed I was turned out in the cold. Even now I am jumping through a ring of fire for someone. In the long run his love for me is only a sympathetic but not unconditional.
   Really what is Love? I thought it was a relationship with someone that was unconditional,trusting,committed,honest,trusting and never ending. Loving someone means even through the good, the bad and the indifferent. Having the ability to communicate about anything and get honesty. That through hard times that person would never turn their back but stick it out and look for the rainbow with you. Love is never changing and never wanting to change another but instead help grow into change for the better.
   We as humans need to put more emphasis on loving ourselves and others in a spiritual, emotional, mental, and then physical sense. Embrace or relationships, our children and our families. Though I may only know the love of my child I know there is far more out in the world for me and others like me. If only the love can start with self and grow. Teach our children to love one another as individuals and human beings with feelings. We all have a story but within rthe pages we turn we can find love, hope, and joy. The story can end much different then it started.
   I am a diamond in the rough. I am unique even flawed, So instead of finding a diamond and making it into what society deems to be more fitting polish it and look at its stunning brillance for what it is. LOVE

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      reeltaulkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Man that sounds messed up.  I wasn't raised with my biological family, but I know for sure I did not receive "love" from the family I was raised with and to be quite honest I never sought for it because logically speaking if someone wants to give you something it doesn't matter what it is, they will give it to you. May it be a rock or a piece of paper,   Now something like love that is suppose to be free and unconditional especially from family does not and should not come with a price.  This you can feel instinctively, even if I had the money to buy it from them I wouldn't because I wasn't looking for the "type of love" didn't need it or want it.  I knew enough to know that love was something I didn't need to ask, beg or yearn for.  To be quite honest I loved myself and I learned to love and better myself as I got older.  It's just like when you have goals, or even want material things.  You don't settle just because...... you make sure you get exactly what you like as well as what you are looking for.  So when it comes to something like love I never saw myself settling, yearning or begging for it.  If you want to know what love is, learn to love yourself.  Work on perfectly flaws and areas of yourself that you know need improving.  Before you know it you attract others instead of running after people to love you.  Unconditional is contagious as well as attractive. 
      
      Sometimes we get caught up with following patterns and behaviors we learn growing as a child in our home as well as from our environment.  Just because we are used to doing it or because our parent do it, does not make it right.  I mean if something doesn't feel right, rubs you the wrong way or makes your spirit sad would you continue to indulge in it.  Sometimes Yes, but after a while you get fed up especially if you yearn for things to improve or get better. 
      
      Vonda G. Nelson

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      dallaswriterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Wow...this really caught my eye. Very deep but surprisingly in all the clutter of hurt, I see hope. In this world you are either on one side or the other. It's a shame that the people entrusted to love us can't always find a way to love themselves. As it has been written in countless books and told by counselors everywhere, "You can't love anyone if you don't love yourself". As for a perfect love or unconditional love, I am certain in my life That GOD is the only one capable of such endlessness. People are flesh and blood and unfortunately our idea of love exists in our comfort zone. The first time a child, spouse or friend or anyone we love for that matter causes a friction in our life, we quickly become hurt or on the defense or dissapointed.
      
      I am reminded often and more that when we get better so does everything else. This was quoted by a dear friend who has life coaching skills and a love of God that I wish often he could drowned me in. I am too broken, been let down by many, and there was always a price for anyone that wanted me to love them or gave me love. The Wonderful thing is that there are also people who I know I have made a difference in their lives. There is my husabnd and my children. Do I love them as I should? Probably not as perfect as I should.
      
      I would encourage anyone on a journey to find healing and understand love to read Beth Moore's Get Out of That Pit and Katie Brazelton- 40 Days with a Life Coach! It's amazing what you will discover about yourself and even more about what you are capable of. Blessings to each of you!

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      Vibs245posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      While growing,we collect thoughts from different sources,that forms our mind. So the concept of love also comes to our mind in the same way. As a result love remains nothing but a concept in your mind.But love is beyond that. I would agree that our social system starts expecting a lot from a teen but when that teen becomes a young boy or girl,he or she forgets the art of love.It's not an intended mistake.We need to understand this phenomenon,so that we can see the true love we are surrounded by.

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   ddsurfscaposted 13 years ago

   To my understanding and having been married twice, I think I have the best interpetation of love that I have heard yet.  It is not the fairy tail that you fall head over heels, have butterflies in your stomach, or the lustful version either. 
   To me love is the ability to be able to tolerate the other person and accept them for who they are, trusting that they will return that tolerance, for nobody is perfect.  One must be able to forgive mistakes, and be able to communicate with each other well enough to work out problems.
   This is love.

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      stclairjackposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      good definition
      
      the culture preaches tolerance,... but we dont tolerate our spouses very well,... perhaps tollerance begins at home.

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      Priyankaa Beeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Truly agree with you....

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   Y. Kajitakaposted 13 years ago

   Love is something that depends on the sense you want it in- there are all types.  My personality is a contradiction in itself- I don't want people sticking to me, but I'm sticky like clingwrap when I love someone.
   
   God says to love others as we love ourselves.  Thinking in those terms, it would mean we prioritize their safety and happiness above all others.  We make time for them even when there isn't time to be had.  We let them escape to and complain to us, because we would do it to them.  We spoil them, are always there for them, are honest with them.  God loves us so much he sent his son to die for us- and there are relationships that have that.
   
   If you're having difficulty in your marriage, stick through it.  I highly recommend the movie "Fireproof."  Also, if you truly want to overcome difficulties in a marriage, try the book "The Love Dare."  I think you'll learn something you never knew before.  This isn't your psychologist's ramble about "Do something for yourself" yadayadayada.  This is God's word applied to your marriage- your life.  It will really and truly be worth your while, because it teaches you not only the meaning of love, but the manner of enduring love, and steadfast love.
   
   I hope "love" isn't something that anyone takes for granted.

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      dallaswriterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Well put.....

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         HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I do recommend the fireproof movie as well, as well as power of a praying wife by stormie omartian, and her other changing your marriage. Fortunately you still have to help yourself, and look at yourself at what part you are playing in your relationship whether it is negative or positive. You are still doing something for yourself, because in the first part of the book power of a praying wife, you look at how you have to change yourself. You can not change your partner. You can only change you. When you change they change, because they see something different. In the fireproof movie even Kirk Cameron had to change what he was doing! Also he had to find God in heart, and really have faith in God while he practiced the Love Dare.  Fortunately in the movie this took 40 days, but some times it can take up to a year or longer for partners to come into alignment with each other. You have to also consider if this is an abusive relationship, emotionally, physically, spiritually. If this is harmful for you and your child than you need to separate and seek counseling from some kind of spiritual counselor, pastor, minister, priest, or psychologist, social worker , or therapist. What ever you choose and feel helps you. It really depends on to, whether two people are really comitted to each other, whether they choose to work things out, and if they  both choose to work on themselves and the relationship. When you go through these changes, you also always have to have in your mind that even if you change, the partner may never change, and therefore, you should always get healthier and understand if they don't make it, or choose the same path, it wasn't anything you did wrong.  They just chose not to get help and you did. You have to do what is emotionally, spiritually, and physically best for you and if it is more harmful and destructive to yourself to stay in a relationship than I would not choose to stay there, it can become very dangerous in certain situations. Only you are the one that can determine whether your life or childrens lives are in danger, and in most states you are responsible to protect your child and yourself.

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   stclairjackposted 13 years ago

   i read refferences to being broken in this conversation,... and i gota say,... i've been broke,... and i've been broken,...
   
   deffinately two different things,... but the way you make a stained glass window is to break the pieces that will later come together to paint the whole picture,..
   
   i've been through a varied and interesting life so far, some good times, some bad,... some truely wonderfull moments, and some that i still dont proccess well,... but all those pieces of me paint the whole picture of who i am,..
   
   love is seeing the whole picture,... beyond the broken pieces, beyond the chips and scratches,.. seeing past the mistakes and batle scares,..
   
   thats how love works,....
   
   in the begining, you lust, desire or like some one for any number of reasons,... but in the end, you love them in spite of any number of things.
   
   sorry, i ramble

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   CharlieMaiposted 13 years ago

   I think love is our aim to connect to each other. There is a spiritual view that we are separated in this world by our egos. We have them to survive, but love brakes these borders and lets us feel united.
   
   There are all forms of love. I think we should not judge them and be grateful for every bit we can feel

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   fucsiaposted 13 years ago

   This is an important and complicated question. I tried to answer at this question, that many time I wondered, in one of my Hub. In this page I described the feeling that I call "true love" and my new vision, and more mature, of the concept of Love. If you want to read it:
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/whatIsLove-forMe

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   earnestshubposted 13 years ago

   Love is a feeling which can be developed by using it. Love is a doing thing.
   What I mean to say is that love is manifest by doing nice things for the ones you love. I wrote a hub about love called "love is a doing thing, Do it now," which I like and also think is useful.
   If you think it may help, it is on the last page of my hubs, page 15. You can find it easily by pressing the "more" button on my profile page.

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   Obsolescenceposted 13 years ago

   Love is a word we attach to a chemical release in our brains which resembles cocaine and other stimulants. Everything else we, as humans, attach to love is superfluous. Humans are very adept at creating all forms of stories to explain the phenomena we experience, and the experiential effects of love are certainly powerful phenomena that demand explanation.
   
   The human condition is an ignorant one, and humans despise the unknown.

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   mdlawyerposted 13 years ago

   Today love is nothing but creature comforts.

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