When do you say enough is enough?

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   allycat33posted 14 years ago

   Hello. My name is Alice Weaver and I am the author of "A Dream of Being Free." I wrote this book because I wanted to make a point everyone that abuse is not okay.
   Okay lets break it down a little bit shall we.
   Amy has met a man she fell head over heals for and the first couple of months everything was going well. They decide after 6 months they want to get married. Everything goes well until they have been married for 3 months. Mr. Wonderful is no longer Mr. Wonderful.
   He says he's sorry and everything goes on with nothing happening until Amy gets pregnant. Mr. Wonderful is back to being the hitter.
   Amy is abused for 7 years before she says enough is enough and moves out. But in this seven years she goes thru beatings to ending in the hospital to the point of almost death.
   Physical and emotional abuse is bad for everyone. Whether your a man or a woman. If your being abused get as soon as you can and stay gone. The other person will say they're sorry but in truth they are not sorry at all.

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Your editor must have put in overtime to produce your book.
   
   However, on topic- abuse is never good. It's demeaning to the individual. One should not have to wait a period of time to say when enough is enough. Their first instinct should be to get a way from that source of abuse.
   
   Yeah, I know, it's more complex than that. I've heard that before.
   
   But, in all honesty, it's not complex, just because love is involved. The individual either admits it to themselves that it is unhealthy and moves on or they convince themselves with some other reason.
   
   In the end, it boils down to choice.

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      Cardisaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ................and fear and low self esteem!

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Both boil down to choice. You choose to be fearful and you choose to have low self esteem(which comes from not knowing yourself).
         
         And, no I am not talking about you, but of the words you chose. This post is not directed at you.

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            allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks. And your right it is a choice. You choose to stay and be beat for the rest of your life or you choice to get out and have a life you should have as a person.

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      allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol     My editor cried when they read my book.

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      Wendi Mposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ouch (but true) on the first comment!
      
      It is a matter of choice, but there is a large amount of low self esteem and co-dependency involved. 
      
      Being a very strong individual, and having lived through that, there can also be an additional factor...some form of addiction/impairment!  That can definitely hinder any sane decision!

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   psycheskinnerposted 14 years ago

   It's not like many people run around saying abuse is okay. the question is what to do to prevent or respond to it.

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      allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      One if you have abuse that started in your family, example: your mom was abused by your father and she lived with all of this for the sake of the children.
      You have been raised seeing all of the abuse in the home so how do you stop it from going onto your children.
      You 1 get help for yourself to stop the cycle.
      2. if you get with someone and he or she lays one hand on you or yells for no reason, WALK OUT RIGHT THEN.
      Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

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   allycat33posted 14 years ago

   Many women hide the fact they are abused. Some say they don't know how to leave because they are afraid that person will come after them.
   My advice to all women and for men as well is the following:
   1. pack as much as you can why the person is out of the home.
   2. Call someone you can trust to come help you if you need too.
   3. Call the police if you have been hit. Take pictures make the report as soon as possible.
   4. Get help from a counselor.
   5. NEVER EVER LOOK BACK!
   
   Yes it is very hard to start over and like one of you said the person has to admit they have a problem. The problem is the abuser will NOT admit they have a problem.
   
   How do I know these things? Because I have been there done that. It is really hard when you have children, but you have to get out as soon as it happens the first time.
   Old saying "Once a beater always a beater."

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   psycheskinnerposted 14 years ago

   I assume you are on hubpages to write a hub about this.  because using the forums for self-promotion is a no-no.  Even for a good cause.

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Skinner, come on "self-promotion"?
      
      I have opened numerous thread with the train of thought of getting people's views, before I write a hub. And, I have even told people I was going to write a hub on the topic.
      
      Are you now going to tell me that I was self promoting the hub I was going to write? If so, then you would be wrong and not understand self promotion, as in the context that HP has established it.

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      allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Cagsil. I was getting insight for ideas for a new book. But thanks psycheskinner for making it so I will not join this site or have my friends if we cannot talk about things on here without being told we are being "SELF-PROMOTING" ourselves.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think the self promotion refers more to links to other sites, or self promoting your own links to start a thread.  I don't think HP would have all the different categories of forums and sub- forums if a hubber couldn't get ideas or feedback about topics they may be writing about.

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         allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         This is very true.

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            allycat33posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Abuse is still a topic that needs to be addressed no matter what and I would like other peoples thoughts on the subject.

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   Diane Insideposted 14 years ago

   I think there was a time when women felt trapped with no way out, in such a situation. With children to worry about and staying with someone because they have no idea how they would be able to survive while also caring for and providing for children, it would be very hard.
   
   But in this day and age, there are so many places battered women can go for help I don't see any reason why a woman would allow a man to abuse her or her children. I've heard it all too, since I had a friend who was married for eight years to an abuser with two small children.  She finally did end the relationship but then had to go through the agony of allowing her children go visit him every other weekend.  The oldest girl even accused him of molesting her when she was about 8 years old it became a big mess. The courts didn't take the abuse seriously and awarded him visitation. So not everything is so cut and dry and woman especially women with children do worry about stuff like this when in this situation.
   
   As for me since I saw all this play out with my friend, all it would take is one time for me to say "I'm outta here." and never look back.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      +1

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