Open your own bank account

1. 59

   seyoniposted 12 years ago

   Hi successful hubbers,
   I was watching one of those reality shows and these subjects arose from it -
   1) Would you open a bank account without advising your partner about it? 
   2) Secondly, would you take out a credit card and not let him/her know?
   3) Females, this is for you, would you present your pay check or money to your
      spouse when you get paid? 
   
   Looking for yoiur responses.

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   1. 96

      wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Both one and two would indicate that you are hiding finances from your spouse; there is a major problem in your marriage.
      
      3) can apply to either spouse; I know couples that the wife handles most of the finances.  It can work, but it takes a spouse (of either sex) that accepts they have a problem handling money and is willing to turn that task to their better half.
      
      I have also known working women that have their own account (inaccessible to the man) and all their money goes into it for their own play money.  This almost always results in poor relations as well as the man is now responsible for all joint living costs plus any little left over for his own play.

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2. 60

   TLMinutposted 12 years ago

   Number three I don't quite get, "present" it? I've given my husband my paycheck before to deposit when he was the one going to the bank. Usually I got all the checks because I was the one who did the accounts and wrote the checks. There's less chance of overlooking a bill or forgetting a deposit when one of you is responsible for the money but I'd assume all would be available to both at all times.
   
   As for separate, secret accounts, that's very hard to say. Who would want children with someone they worried about? If you trust someone with your children, who cares about the money? But if things start seeming iffy, you do what you have to do.
   
   It might be good to hide it even when you don't feel the need just so that if anything legally ridiculous comes up, your spouse is protected by not having any information.

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3. 84

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   It is possible to have separate accounts and a joint account into which an agreed amount is put. If one partner is more frugal and the other more impulsive, this can help avoid conflict.

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4. 61

   paradigmsearchposted 12 years ago

   If ya don't trust her, don't marry her.
   
   If you are already married, and the trust is gone, then it's time to circle the wagons...

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5. 73

   KeithTaxposted 12 years ago

   Hi successful hubbers,
   I was watching one of those reality shows and these subjects arose from it -
   1) Would you open a bank account without advising your partner about it?
   
   Yes, if it made financial sense. I would inform my wife afterwards if a personal account. If I remember on a business account.
   
   2) Secondly, would you take out a credit card and not let him/her know?
   
   Business accounts, yes. I don't like credit cards so personal accounts don't count.
   
   3) Females, this is for you, would you present your pay check or money to your
      spouse when you get paid?
   
   My wife and I deposit personal funds into one checking account. I keep the check register and balance the account each month.
   
   Keep in mind that I have a log in my safe with all our accounts with passcodes. Should I become injured, die, or my wife just needs to access an account, she can.

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6. 65

   jcmayer777posted 12 years ago

   I was married for 16 years and both 1 and 2 would be "yes" for both me and my ex.  Not because we were hiding it, but because we both had the same mindset about our finances.  I trusted her to make the right decisions and she trusted me to do the same.  (Our divorce wasn't in any way, shape, or form about money, so don't toss that at me.)
   
   I'm not sure I get #3.  I never felt the need to present it to my wife and neither did she feel the need to show me proof of her income.  It all went into one big pot, so it really didn't matter.  It was what it was.  We were both pretty frugal, but neither of us cared at all if the other decided to spend a little money on something either of us wanted. We both knew the other wasn't hiding money or blowing it.

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7. 81

   TamCorposted 12 years ago

   A successful marriage is built on trust...that sounds pretty cliche, but it's true.
   
   So....
   
   Would I open a bank account without my husband knowing?  NO!
   
   Neither would I get another credit card--and I know that he wouldn't either.
   
   As far as the money--"My money" and "His money" doesn't exist in our marriage, and never has.  All of "our" money goes into one account, which I take care of. Not because my husband can't handle our finances, but because I have more time than he has, so I do it. 
   
   Throughout our marriage, we've switched back and forth, though--sometimes he takes over and does it, but usually it's me, since I kind of enjoy it, and he doesn't...

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8. 74

   WriteAngledposted 12 years ago

   Having read the OP, I am confused
   
   Who would not have a totally independent personal bank account?
   
   In my first marriage, because of geographical moves, my money was in an account run by my then spouse. As a result, I lost every penny of my life savings when we split up.
   
   That taught me an unforgettable lesson.
   
   In my second and fortunately last marriage, my money was always totally separate and accessible to me alone.
   
   Had it not been so, I would have been in a far more precarious situation than I am today.

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   1. 81

      TamCorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Who?  Me, for one.  My husband, for two.  And believe it or not, we've been married 23 years without one single problem pertaining to having a joint bank account.
      
      Obviously, all marriages are individual and unique.  I'm in one where even the thought of having our own accounts would feel like an affront to our trust in each other.  I would never insult my husband by insisting on having my own account, and he wouldn't, either. But that's the way our marriage works, and always has...on trust.
      
      What works for one may not work for another, but we are not wrong for doing what works for US...

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9. 78

   QuestionMasterposted 12 years ago

   Like all questions, it's important to look at both sides. Sure, some people might automatically assume a partner is being sneaky, but there are other reasons.
   
   1) Would you open a bank account without advising your partner about it?
   
   Yes, and have. A savings account. Because he tries to save but I know he's hopeless at it!
    
   2) Secondly, would you take out a credit card and not let him/her know?
   
   Yes, although I haven't (had a CC before we met.)
   
   3) Females, this is for you, would you present your pay check or money to your
      spouse when you get paid? 
   
   He gives me the money. I'm in charge of the finances and bills etc - he just asks how much I want each month. I don't bother asking him anymore about small or medium financial decisions - he trusts my judgement and generally even refuses to use a card or cheque book. He'd much prefer to use cash for everything.
   Since he can't remember his own birthday sometimes, I think it's better like that!

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   1. 77

      MarloByDesignposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      LOL, good thing you manage the finances!

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10. 77

    MarloByDesignposted 12 years ago

    If you are hiding money from your partner - RED FLAG - there must be a relationship issue!

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    1. 78

       QuestionMasterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Even if you're saving it?

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       1. 77

          MarloByDesignposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Hmmm, now you have me reconsidering my point. I *guess* is you are surprising your partner by saving money, that is fine, but I still believe couples should work on their finances together.

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