Offensive comment and reply

1. 89

   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   Well, I got my first nasty comment today; the question is how to respond.  The comment is on a hub about personal integrity and morality standards going down hill.
   
   Comment:
   wilderness probably got beat up as a child sure judge everyone but yourself because your perfect F.A.G.E.T   (from a non hubber)
   
   Possible reply:
   As the internet becomes more and more a part of our lives it is interesting to note that our personal integrity takes a step backwards. We can say things and make statements that have little regard for truth or honesty, recognizing that we can never be caught (although that is not strictly true). It isn't necessary to maintain our integrity and honesty; no one will ever know. Unfortunately, it is but another step down the road to losing what little integrity we might have left every time we do such things; WE know who made the statement, even if no one else does.
   
   Intentionally offensive statements are a dime a dozen, and few people take them at face value any more. Rather we recognize, as Tusitala Tom comments above, that such comments are far more likely to be a reflection on the life and integrity of the poster than on the target of their venom.
   
   
   What's your opinion?  Shall I work it into the hub while taking a (polite) slap at the commenter, or just delete it and ignore it?  Does such a reply add to a hub on integrity and honesty or will leaving such garbage offend readers?  Personally I would get a giggle out seeing such a reply and tip my hat to the author, but not sure everyone else would.

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   1. 68

      ThomasEposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Delete and ignore.

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      1. 59

         paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         +1

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      2. 65

         relacheposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         This

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      3. 0

         EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Gets a thumbs up from me. Don't give this a**ehole any more publicity than you already have

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         1. 60

            brandasaurposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Another +1 for this

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      4. 79

         GmaGoldieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         +1

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   2. 60

      Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, delete it. The more attention they get the more likely they'll return with other stupid comments.

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   3. 60

      Xenonlitposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, too. Delete and ignore.

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2. 77

   Uninvited Writerposted 13 years ago

   I like that reply

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3. 88

   mistyhorizon2003posted 13 years ago

   Do not feed the TROLLS. Delete and ignore

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4. 80

   Danette Wattposted 13 years ago

   I agree with the others -- delete and ignore. People like that aren't worth the emotional time and energy.

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   1. 86

      Stacie Lposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      delete it and move on

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5. 73

   sofsposted 13 years ago

   I believe when you respond to a nasty comment, you lower yourself to that state. You save the person and yourself some embarrassment when you quietly delete the stinging remark. IMHO

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6. 89

   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   UW, you and I seem to be the minority here.  My household members disagree, but of course they share in the offense and want to slap back.
   
   I don't know - it sure makes a good example of what the hub is saying!

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   1. 94

      Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!  It does make your point, quite well.
      
      As for them coming back for more attention... I doubt they want to hear the point you are making.
      I don't think you are lowering yourself to thier state because you did not reply in their manner.
      
      Normally, I would say 'delete and forget' this this may be tthe exception because your reply showed thought and class. Delete and forget if they come back again.

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      1. 89

         wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks, Rochelle.  I think that's going to be the plan; leave their comment and my reply, but delete and forget when/if they come back.
         
         And actually my "reply" was not a reply to them at all; it was a separate comment about the one they left but not directed at the poster.  Except in a round-about not-so-subtle way...

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         1. 94

            Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, That's what made it "class", objective and above it all.

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7. 41

   WaffleCheeseposted 13 years ago

   KEEP IT!
   
   And let other commenters do what they will to them.

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   1. 88

      Jean Bakulaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Wilderness,
      I've gotten some really insulting comments just for Astrology hubs. Much of the hub base is either very religious or self righteous. Or both. If you leave it, you will probably get in a prolonged situation where  the person will go on your other hubs and leave inappropriate messages too. I would ignore, but best wishes no matter what you decide. Not everyone can see reason like you can.

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      1. 89

         wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I've thought of that - the troll may repeatedly hit this hub or move on to others.  Either way, though, I've always got the "delete" button; the "I win" option that is only available to the author and that can't be refuted.  It's even still available for both the comment and my reply and always will be.

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         1. 68

            ThomasEposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Or the troll may get really angry at your comment, and decide to click bomb your adsense.

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            1. 89

               wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               It's possible, and I even thought of that.  I doubt, though, that very many of the kind of people that make these comments would understand click bombing.
               
               Had there been some back and forth, making them mad, maybe.  But this kind of comment, completely out of the blue?  It's likely just someone that wants attention and makes a habit of doing this kind of thing to get it.

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8. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 13 years ago

   Trolls are general people with histrionic personalities who adore it when you slap back. They poke you so they can laugh and point with their juvenile friends and you get all annoyed in response.
   
   I would suggest just denying the comment.  It has no value. Responding to it will make your hub a troll magnet.

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   1. 89

      wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Very true, except for one thing - I'm not annoyed.  Just wondering if I can use that silly and offensive comment to improve the hub and make it more valuable to the reader. 
      
      As is, the comment is worthless but can I make it useful by turning it into an example of what the hub is proposing?
      
      True, the person and their friends could become annoying by bombing all my hubs with similar garbage, but the time involved in denying them is the price I would pay to make a better hub.  I can't imagine it would last long when none of their comments were ever seen.
      
      It's all about providing a better experience for the reader, not my own emotional response.  There isn't one, except a certain sadness that people degrade themselves this way.

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      1. 77

         kirstenblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Normally I would say delete and move on but I do think in this case the comment may well add to your hub by illustrating your point so well. I say keep this one comment (and should the poster make rational posts to your reply) but delete any other posts they make. I really think your readers will be a lot more likely to see this comment as a perfect example of what you are talking about and show you to be a person of integrity for allowing the post and responding so reasonably and rationally. This is probably the coolest case of an abusive comment, on a subject talking about the lack of integrity found so easily these days, not even your hub is safe from it!

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         1. 89

            wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            That's kind of what I'm thinking and hoping for. 
            
            It wouldn't work anywhere else, but on this hub it makes a perfect point, and one provided by someone other than I! 
            
            Plus, I have to admit, it tickles my fancy to turn it so neatly against the poster without ever becoming rude myself.  To benefit from the comment instead of becoming upset.  I guess i just have an odd sense of humor.

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            1. 77

               kirstenblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Nothing more annoying then someone who stays cool and calm when you are trying to upset them and get a rise out of them
               Ain't it fun to be annoying that way?

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               1. 89

                  wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Me??  Would I ever do such an evil thing??
                  
                  Probably.  Sometimes HP is fun just to be a part of and have special abilities like that.

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      2. 63

         Momma Miaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         wilderness,
            I happen to agree with you!  If we allow others to show their truth, we allow everyone to see it too.  The world deserves to see the untampered truth and to know what is out there ( as if we didn't) but just a reminder that ugly rears its head and to take notice and be aware. To make change ...... we sometimes have to let others find the answers ..... and only can they if they are allowed to express it and possibly be judged for it.  A personal attack on you was not nice......    I bet this "non-hubber"   will not like his just reward.      So glad you take a higher road my friend!  Need more like you around!   KUDO"S to you !!

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         1. 89

            wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            You've certainly got that right - I didn't make them look like an idiot.  I may have allowed the commenter to do it, but they accomplished it quite will all by themselves.  I didn't have to add anything at all.

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      3. 90

         Jlbowdenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Hello Wilderness:
         
         I would just delete and ignore the individual. Most likely they are caught up in their own make believe world. And are probably either envy or are jealous of you as a person and writer. And basically wish they had the God given talent that you possess. Take that to the bank, for whatever it's worth.
         
         Jl

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9. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 13 years ago

   If you make an example hub I would suggest making it a new hub, quoting the comment as an anonymous example.

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   1. 81

      shibashakeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      +1

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10. 81

    shibashakeposted 13 years ago

    Delete and move on.
    
    It is tempting to respond, but in my experience they will just keep coming back and ultimately, it becomes a colossal waste of time.
    
    Time is precious, and best spent on comments that will actually make a positive difference.

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11. 73

    Aficionadaposted 13 years ago

    wilderness, I really like your proposed response and I understand the appeal of using the comment as an example.  But the problem that I see is that the poster is juvenile, a troll, someone who actually has not yet even developed personal integrity - so they can't have lost it, since they never had any to begin with.  I honestly don't believe that this particular comment would provide the kind of example that you want for the point you are making.
    
    I suggest using the response you propose (in your OP) as the basis for another Hub.  You could even link the Hub to an article that I read elsewhere on why we should be required to use real names in comments on the internet (the idea being that a person tends to be less trollish and more mature when they have to give their real name - underscore tends to be).
    
    I agree that you should delete the comment and move on to another Hub (or do as psycheskinner suggested - use the comment anonymously in the other Hub; but I would say that you should use other comments too, not only this one).

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Actually, all of this is making me think of writing a hub about troll behavior.  Maybe we'll see a whole rash of them on HP.
       
       Real names, however, is another question.  For the truly deranged (and they are out there) Aficionada is a lot more difficult to trace down and locate than your real name would be.  Many of us use noms de plume for just that reason, as well as for simple privacy.

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       1. 73

          Aficionadaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          
          Yes, agreed, and that is why I have been slow to share my real name here, even though I have done so privately on occasion. 
          
          The comment that I mentioned had to do with people who leave comments on articles, in forums, etc.  Those noms de plume are even harder to track down than these (ours here) are, and they tend to give the poster a feeling of invisibility and invincibility, which can lead to more bad behavior than would occur otherwise. (Presumably)
          
          
          And that wouldn't have been quite so nerve-wracking, if it had not occurred so close to the 2:00 PM Emergency Broadcasting System test!!

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12. 76

    sunforgedposted 13 years ago

    I would have to ask what the acronym FAGET may mean. My curiosity would eat at me, is it a new slang, some type of new meme or technospeak.
    
    So, I googled it:
    
    "This hideously misspelled derivation of 'faggot' is primarily used by uneducated rednecks who fail to see the irony of calling someone a derogatory name but having no idea how to say the word."
    
    after reading that, I would delete and forget.

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I didn't believe you - no one would put that definition out - so I googled it myself.
       
       It's true!  Urban Dictionary actually defined it, and just that way!  I love it.

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       1. 60

          mom101posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Hey, sorry for intruding,  but I have tried replying to a post about the upcoming emergency post and it will not let me post.
          
          I am getting worried.  The forum, this is just a test. Can anyone else reply?

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          1. 73

             Aficionadaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I had a similar problem. It seems to be resolved now.  I was panicking for a few minutes!

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13. 73

    Aficionadaposted 13 years ago

    I think it was actually a problem with the entire forum, not just with posts.  When I would try to navigate from the list to a specific thread, I would get a "done" message, but with a completely blank screen.  Yikes!!

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yep.  Stats went down for a few minutes as well.  Forums came and went - some showed while some didn't. 
       
       Seems fixed now, though.

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       1. 60

          brandasaurposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I thought i got banned. Showed up the sign in button even though im already signed in. when i visited my profile, it is not existing. so i went to Answers portion, it didnt. I checked the forums, i can see everything but the threads werent loading too even the hubs and other profiles. I think they edited something and need to have a quick maintenance.

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          1. 89

             wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Or somebody tripped over the cord and pulled the plug!
             
             I didn't even get that.  Just a blank screen.

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             1. 60

                mom101posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Sorry yall.
                
                Wilderness, sorry to hear about the abusive comment.
                
                Just overlook it.

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             2. 60

                brandasaurposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Hahaha! My God Wilderness, im pregnant right now, and your last post just made me laugh >____<

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                1. 60

                   brandasaurposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   The emoticon u used is sooo infectious. Argh.

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                2. 89

                   wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Oboy!  Does that mean that there will soon be another member of HP?  An innie or an outie?
                   
                   Or do you need to laugh harder?        

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                   1. 60

                      brandasaurposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      My tummy's only five months and its a risky pregnancy. Haha. Its hard when u cant laugh out loud. Hahaha. I have to ask my husband to read and check your reply first so i wont be infected in case you'll make a funny reply again! hahaha

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                      1. 89

                         wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         Now that's funny - I don't care who you are.  Have to get hubby to check it first!
                         
                         I'll be good (for now), though.  You just be sure to get the new one on the keyboard ASAP.

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                         1. 84

                            pstraubie48posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                            ...just ask yourself, what would i do if this had happened in person? if you do not reply, you steal the power the person wants to have over you....sorry it happened

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                            1. 89

                               wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                               I would probably thank them profusely (and most sincerely!) for their valuable information and ignore anything more that came out of their mouth.  It's usually pretty effective.
                               
                               Not a big deal that it happened, and it doesn't particularly upset me.  There are idiots everywhere and sooner or later we will all find one, but it isn't worth any emotional distress.

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                                  Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                  It's not, and from the sound of it you've just got under the skin of a pretty resentful person. I think what you've written has hit a nerve with them. Their problem, their issue. Just keep writing more of the same, there was obviously some truth in it.

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                                  1. 89

                                     wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                     I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but I hope you're right in that I found a nerve.  Isn't that why we all right things like that?  To make people think and examine themselves?

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                                     1. 60

                                        Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                        Yes, and a person with some integrity who was willing to take a good look at themselves would. But, not everyone's like that, they lash out, it's easier then taking a look at themselves. Notice how that person just had to say (i'm not a hubber, or similar words) Why? My first thought is that they were.

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                                        1. 89

                                           wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                           No, that was me saying it wasn't a hubber.  I didn't want anyone to think anyone on HP would post such a thing.  Although there probably are a few - there's a rotten apple in every basket.
                                           
                                           Lashing out may well be the most common response to offense, but it usually isn't very effective and often produces the opposite result of what is actually wanted.  Except maybe for the trolls - they usually want a flame war; it's often the sole reason for being offensive.

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14. 60

    Hollie Thomasposted 13 years ago

    Ok, I misread it, I understood it to be that the poster had said from a non-hubber. Which, I thought was weird, because why would a non hubber have to say that. I also believe that the vast majority of hubbers would never behave in that way, but there's a lot of non-writing hubbers here(if you can call them that) I don't get it. Maybe they're just lonely. I still believe you should keep writing about that particular issue, though. Then, ignore the idiots, like you say, there's always a rotten apple.

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh, lots of reasons to be a non-writing hubber (what an oxymorom).
       
       Some sign up just to post on the forums - that's what drew me in a year ago.  I had no idea you could make money posting on the net, and had never even joined a forum before.
       
       Some sign up, look around and write a hub or two, then never come back.  I've got a couple of referrals that way.  It just doesn't work for them, or they find out it isn't a get rich quick thing.
       
       Or maybe they get married and spouse is jealous of the time.  Could be anything.  We even have a few successful hubbers that won't forum post from their main account - it can draw skimmers and they don't want the attention.

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15. 95

    Sally's Troveposted 13 years ago

    Coming late into this thread...your response could be "Thank you for your comment. " and let it go at that. A troll/flamer can go find its meal somewhere else. You don't need to provide the food. Or just delete the comment and forget it. Depends on how you want to posture yourself.

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Now that I can't see.  I'm not about to thank them for a nasty remark.  Delete it yes, but never thank them for it.
       
       I hate deleting a comment - I've even left some that are there to get a backlink if they make a hub responsive comment - but I would normally delete anything like this in a heartbeat.  I just think I can actually improve the hub by leaving it and using it to prove the hub's point.

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       1. 95

          Sally's Troveposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Perhaps you missed the sarcasm?

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16. 56

    Jerrico Usherposted 13 years ago

    I use "moderate all comments" because there are those people that are simply rude for no reason and I have a solution for them *Click-Delete* *Delete Permanently*.
    
    Honestly- don't give it a second thought unless the comment has some merit or information that's useful- even then what I do is republish the comment (since you can't edit it) with the useful info and crediting the name for it- i.e. comment on your own hub including the information you want there and omitting what you don't and I'll even tag "the rest of this comment left was of no value to my readers and only serves to insult them" or something like that .
    
    If the comment is utterly useless and negative in any way I just remove it- nuff said- most of these trolls comment and leave- but it's up to you not to let their "viral" attack get the better of you. Some people do it just to vent- so let them, it's moderated out.

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17. 56

    Jerrico Usherposted 13 years ago

    I think when you mark it as spam their IP address is flagged so they can't tag your post again- not sure but I think that's what "mark as spam" does essentially. If you delete it completely it will not block them from leaving more posts- but if you mark just one comment on one hub as spam I believe it will stop that person (IP ADDRESS) from posting on ANY of your hubs...

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    1. 89

       wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       That makes sense, and isn't something I'd thought of.  A good thing to remember.

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       1. 94

          Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I hadn't thought of that either, but go with your gut feeling---- and if you get more s--- (spam) from this source, a spam designation sounds like an option.

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          1. 89

             wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             But will HP accept a spam designation when it isn't actually spam?
             
             I guess we could report these posters and get their ip banned that way.

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             1. 94

                Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Probably-- though spam doesn't necessarily need to have a link...? 
                
                A good experiment, if it comes up.

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                1. 56

                   Jerrico Usherposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   I don't think it's a spam filter for the site but rather for your account specifically, i.e. like in your email box marking something spam just marks that persons IP address and email address but other people can still be spammed by them- it's account based as I believe the spam comment filter is, just a way to give you more control over your comments and whose banned and whose allowed in. I can only speculate but one thing I know is the same IP address hasn't been seen on any of my hubs after they spam or leave a post i don't like. It doesn't have to be spam it's automated if anything, spam is just a control that lets you ban idiots not just spam by definition- it seems to work on my acct, but I can only speculate.

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