When did your baby (under 12 months) develop some independence?

1. 88

   BizGenGirlposted 12 years ago

   
   My 6 month old is happy, healthy and wonderful, however, he refuses to let me be away from him for more than a few minutes, even when he's asleep. He cries could rival that of the strongest banshee's. I've been trying everything from getting him interesting toys to play with, books to look at, putting on movies, music boxes, clocks and white noise. I've wrapped him in a shirt that I've been wearing all day (for the scent), which seems to work for a little while. I've played with him until he's exhausted or even just tired of me (though obviously that doesn't last long) I've let him "cry it out", for short durations. He won't sit with his brother or dad for very long either. I love my newest baby boy, and I spend lots of time with him all day, every day (what mother doesn't right? lol), though I need time to work, sleep and just be me occasionally. He's only my second baby, and his brother was a saint in comparison, not minding having 30 to 45 minutes to himself here and there.
   
   Have you been or are you in my shoes?
   
   What have you found helpful for helping your baby gain some independence and learning to amuse themselves?
   
   Was there an age when your baby finally developed some independence, learned to entertain themselves for a little while or at least learned to be okay with you not being directly in the room or having to holding them.
   
   I want to get a form going, all about our little cherubs (and devils) and helping them build their sense of independence, and realize that we haven't abandoned them when we leave the room, and that we will play with them again as soon as "the necessaries" are done.
   
   We parents can and should help each other out. Don't ya think?

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   1. 88

      BizGenGirlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry for the typo! I meant to say "His cries rival the strongest banshee's", not "He cries rival the strongest banshee's", lol

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2. 61

   Monisajdaposted 12 years ago

   Your child exhibits typical behavior for his age. I would start him next to his brother, with toys at hand and in such way that he can see you in the same room. I was cooking and having both my daughters play very close to me. The little one could still see me but she was sitting next to her big sister and that was helpful. Eventually I was able to leave the kitchen for a moment without hearing the cry.
   
   Good luck!

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   1. 88

      BizGenGirlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Are you daughters close in age? Sometimes I wonder if that's an issue with my boys. My oldest is soon-to-be 7, and my little one is nearly 6 months.

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      1. 61

         Monisajdaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         My daughters are 3 years apart. They do play together a lot and then sometimes they won't.
         
         Most babies don't understand the concept of permanence, once they don't see they don't think mama is still there for them. It actually is very scary for them to see you go as they don't know you are in another room. This seems silly to grownups but babies don't comprehend this. That's why they fuss when we leave the room.

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3. 77

   Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

   Your family sounds like my sister and her two boys. The first one she had no problem with, but the younger one was a real Momma's Baby/Toddler. Very clingy.
   Hated separation, too. Very, very attached to her. She just rolled with it.
   
   They're both teenagers now and it's all a distant memory.
   
   Good luck to you. I hope you get lots of response on here!

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4. 79

   LeanManposted 12 years ago

   Our little one is just three months but will happily play with his "gym", watch the mobiles on his crib and even watch TV whilst we get on with stuff.... he gets plenty of attention and revels in it.. but he also already realises that we are still there even when he can't see us.. He already plays peek a boo and other games and recognises people around him, I guess we are just lucky..

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5. 60

   New 2011 Momposted 12 years ago

   My daughter loved to be alone, and still does since she was about 1 month old. I have no idea why, but whenever I was in the room she wouldn't play at all, she would just lay there and look bored. After I left the room she would grab toys and play. Now she wants to be alone rather than with me (she is 9 months old). She will be in the same room, but she would crawl over to a wall a good distance form me and play with her toys, or the cat. She does want to be with me, and play with me as well, but now as much as I really thought she would.

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6. 89

   cheryloneposted 12 years ago

   I have learned that each child develops their independence differently and each one clings, or doesn't cling, according to their own personality.  I would just begin taking a few moments away and letting the child cry a bit.  Make the moments longer each time.  Eventually, the child will get used to you not being there.  Make sure during the first few times your child can still see you and then move further and further away.  It takes time, patience, and lots of love. 

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7. 57

   SanXuaryposted 12 years ago

   They never get any independence unless a TV show or a toy entertains them. The only independence that is some what permanent is a sibling other wise its back to infancy. Apparently I am stuck building Lincoln log cabins, something, something, something in order to stop the bad guy etc.

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