How long is too long to wait for someone you love to change?

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   katie51566posted 14 years ago

   How long is too long to wait for someone you love to change?

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   Dark knight ridesposted 14 years ago

   Why do you want them to change? You fell in love with them as they were. If they change they are no longer the person you loved, are they?
   
   But of course we change all the time. We're not the same person today we were a year ago. You have to ask: What is it you want to change about them, and have you talked to them about it? Are they willing to change? Do they want to change it? Are they willing to try to change it? Because if the answer to any of those questions is "no", then give up now, they won't change.

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   molly0181posted 14 years ago

   Communicate what you expect of him or her. And if they do not care for you , they will never change

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      vonda g nelsonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I don't believe people change because they care about U, if u believe that then your "relationships" will never have longevity.  People change because they want 2, they see how their behavior is negatively affecting themselves and the ones they love

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   katie51566posted 14 years ago

   I guess I used the wrong word, instead of change I should have said grow up and be a lot less selfish

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   MikeNVposted 14 years ago

   The only person that can change someone is themselves.  Perhaps you should look towards figuring out how to improve your life in other ways.  One can not inflict a change upon another person they have to do that for themselves.

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   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   I once waited years for someone I loved to grow up and change. He never did, and when I'd had enough, our relationship sadly ended.  It's interesting to me because it was only after our breakup that he seemed to get himself together, become more mature, more open, just a better person all-round. It was about a year later that I saw him like this.  He had a new girl in his life too... I was left wondering, why couldn't he have been like that when we were together!

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   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   You never "wait" for someone to change.  EIther you are patient and understanding of their ways or you are allowing yourself to be  used because you are patient and understanding of their ways.  Why do people believe that they can change someone.  No one is perfect and we all come with flaws, but it is up to each individual to realize their flaws, accept them and "change".  Someone's Love, commitment and loyalty can do but so much!  To be honest depending on the individual does absolutely nothing!  The little things you do can help, but in the end you are enabling them, a human crutch especially if the person is selfish and is not planning on maturing at anytime.
   
   Vonda G. Nelson

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