How do you deal with a co-worker who has a child that is a bully towards yours c

1. 60

   Ria Piaposted 13 years ago

   How do you deal with a co-worker who has a child that is a bully towards yours child?
   
   In the attempt to fit in with another child in the school, how can you address a good kid who bullies in an attempt to fit in to their friends crowd. When working with the childs mother is an issue

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2. 59

   Jeromeoposted 13 years ago

   Although the first answer may be to have your child stand up for themselves by engaging in a little conflict resolution, this may not address the problem.
   
   On the other hand to have them role play and reverse their situations would be more appropriate.
   
   Most parents are so sensitive about their children that it may lead to a bigger argument between you and the other parent for you to bring it up.
   
   But for your child's sake it needs to be handled ASAP.  So role play it is.  Most children will respond to indirect confrontation if it is done in a loving manner.
   
   Find out from our child what the last incident of bulling was.  Then you can invite the other child to role play, reverse the script and when you see the other child getting uncomfortable pull the plug and present the teachable moment.
   
   Point out that if the other child felt uncomfortable then they should imagine how they make others feel when they act in an overly aggressive manner.
   
   Let them know that they are accepted but that no one likes a bully. 
   
   This same thing can be done by making a short story video that has bullying in it in then you can use the short story video as an excuse for the role playing.
   
   If you can; get the other parent to participate with you in the making of the video.
   
   Post it on you tube and you'll all get to enjoy it.
   
   No doubt this is a delicate situation, but the wisdom and will to do the right thing should make it all work out for the better and keep the aggressive child from maturing into a adult menace.

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3. 67

   LeisureLifeposted 13 years ago

   He. Sorry, I just had to post this.  Roundhouse kick them in the face like colin ferrell!

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4. 57

   rieomposted 13 years ago

   I would keep them apart.  If your co-worker asks you why, then tell her they have not been getting along and need a break from each other.  It is hard when you see this person everyday to come right out and say her child is a bully.

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5. 61

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I don't think a truly "good" (kind) kid bullies.  Kids who have a lot of empathy, respect, compassion, etc. for others are not comfortable when they see a classmate bullying another one.  "Good" kids may not be brave enough to speak up on behalf of the victim, but they may either remain silent or else find a way to leave the situation.  Some may be brave enough to speak up, but I don't think most nice kids are comfortable (brave enough) speaking up to a kid who is an aggressive bully. So, as far as I'm concerned, your co-worker's kid isn't a "good" kid.  He may be a "second-banana level" bully, but he's a bully nonetheless.
   
   I think I were in that situation I'd tell my child to stay away from the other kid; but, knowing that's not always possible, I'd also tell the school I wanted the bullying ended.  I'd tell them that I work with the mother and would hope it could be handled diplomatically; but - I'm sorry - I'd want it ended, and I'd want the kid's aggressive behavior called to the attention of the school authorities (if not for my kid, then for any other victims of the bully/bullies).
   
   School authorities know that sometimes a couple of kids team up and both of them do things they wouldn't do alone; so I'd think there's a good chance the school can find a way to break up that particular "team" without ever letting the whole situation turn into more than a "school person" telling the two of them they couldn't be together.  If they're not "hard-core" bullies/aggressive narcissists (with a clinical personality disorder) they'll most likely stop if someone tells them.  If they have personality problems and need counseling, better someone in authority figure that out now, rather than later.

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