What happens when your partner's sex drive is much different from your own?

1. 70

   puddingicecreamposted 12 years ago

   What happens when your partner's sex drive is much different from your own?
   
   Either your partner wants sex more than you, or you want sex more than your partner. How do you compromise or make up for this?

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2. 0

   Ghost32posted 12 years ago

   I'm married to wife #7 these past 15 years, which means I've got six divorces.  Every one of the six had a lower sex drive than I do, and yes, that was a factor every time I terminated the marriage. 
   
   Don't know how you compromise (or make up) for it, though.  I really tried (honest!) , but mostly none of the ladies seemed all that interest in working things out. Just figured it was my problem.  So I left.

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3. 59

   stars439posted 12 years ago

   I guess the best thing to do is to tell the truth, and say that too much is too much, and that your body needs a break if it is too often. We have to learn to respect the wishes of our partners.
   
   God Bless You.

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4. 68

   Lyn.Stewartposted 12 years ago

   All my partners have had a lower sex drive than me and it has always been me that has to adhere to their wishes.
   
   I have always told prospective partners that I have a high sex drive and all of them said so do they ...Sadly this has never been the case.
   
   One day I hope to have someone who either has a good sex drive or may at least compromise a little for me.

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5. 81

   kallini2010posted 12 years ago

   That is why being a virgin is such an overrated notion.  We normally fall in love with one person and want sex with another.  Romantic love and sex is not the same thing.  You can throw stones or point your fingers at me, but at least I did not have to marry seven times.
   
   Sex is a deal-breaker for me.  I am not a quitter, I was married for sixteen years and I cannot compare our sex drives at all.  Sexually we were not compatible at all.  I had no desire.  And it depends on a man, it turned out to be - we are not attracted to just any man/woman.  He blamed me for his ruined sexual life at the prime of his life.  I was cold. However, it turned out to be - I have a higher "appetite" - but it depends on a partner.
   
   That is why I had to leave all of my 42 lovers.  Joking.  Some of them left me.  But still calling...
   
   My advice - not for the couples - I will leave it to the professionals - too sensitive a topic, but for couples to be married
   
   test-drive everything that can be test-driven, sex and living together.  Give it a year at least.
   
   Sex can be such a nightmare.  A pain - literally and figuratively speaking.
   
   I expect to remain in minority, as always.  For honesty and open-mindedness.  Comes with the territory, I suppose.
   
   Yes, before I push the "Submit Answer" - yes, men are deluded - they have "high" drives.  Not always.  But my favourite statement:
   
   - I am a good lover.
   - Who told you?  Your mother?

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6. 60

   Lovesloveposted 12 years ago

   I beleive a womans sexual desire depends on the man she is with..if your partner is a lousy lover you wont have desire..however if your partner is the type to arouse you,have patience to wait until you are aroused ,not be selfish with his demands then  the love making with be wonderful and fulfulling...it works both ways however,women must remember that men also need to be aroused and us women need to sometimes be patient and understanding in the bedroom !!

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7. 58

   Sterling Carterposted 12 years ago

   What a question... If the partners in question are not married it is time to part ways.
   
   I have a very, very high sex drive and I could not stand to be in the same county with myself if I didn't "Do the Deed" often enough.
   
   I find that people who are married often step out and find what they need with someone else. That's just my take on it.
   
   Every relationship I have even been in since I was 18 or 19 has revolved around sex. If there is no sex drive we didn't date. Plain and simple. That may seem close minded, but it has worked for me.
   
   I have no problem asking someone I may be interested in if their sex life is on fire, smoldering or simply a pile of asses. We all have needs. Just sometimes our need are not the same.

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8. 37

   edhanposted 12 years ago

   There is always a place and time when comes to sex. The urge of having sex is normal but it is still best when both parties are wanting it.
   
   So, it is always better to openly ask our partner if they want it at that place and time. This way it will be a fulfilling sex activities. If not then only one party will enjoy while the other is not.
   
   I always believe it takes two hands to clap so sex is something that both should be involved and enjoy. Therefore it is best to make known whether or not it is what both of you wanted.

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9. 59

   Neil Sperlingposted 12 years ago

   LOL I love kallini2010's answer.......
   
   communication is key.... some open marriages are VERY happy and successful.... some aren't!  Some people should study the art of debate for 4 years and become master debaters... Others should eat more oysters or slurp down on more bananas.
   Others maybe should shave..... or take up role playing!
   No ownership privileges should be considered. Insurance premiums are too high so maybe rent a wreck is a good idea if the auto is in the garage.
   
   Some with high sex drives are poor performers and need lessons..... others with low drives are amazing, but not reliable..... we had horses like both on the farm. Some were fun to ride and others were more work than pleasure.
   
   Bottom line is ...... head down and  bottoms up!
   What's the speed limit anyway -- 69 or 96?

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10. 61

    svencillposted 12 years ago

    Well, it is very important to help keep each other satisfied. You don't want the other person to feel unwanted but sometimes we aren't always in the mood for some good old penetration.
    
    Try other alternatives. Believe me a man will appreciate a quick hand job, or blow job. And, believe me there are a world of opportunities there.
    
    It does work the other way around as well.
    
    And also there are ways to help get things going. Some of which help you get into the mood.
    
    But my biggest advice for those who want more sex more often----- Foreplay is a 24/7 thing. It does not start when you hit the bedroom!
    
    Slight touches, brushing against one another, kissing, and even sexy messages help you get to the more exciting part of the sexual encounter. AND MEN THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT IN THE CASE OF YOUR WOMAN!

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