Can a single guy be good friends with a married woman without crossing lines or

1. 53

   Maice Jonesposted 12 years ago

   Can a single guy be good friends with a married woman without crossing lines or causing problems?
   
   As a cop, I'm often paired with this married woman close to my age. In my job, you have to trust and depend on the person next to you, so naturally you befriend the one you work with -getting dinner together and hanging out every now and then; all within the context of friends/coworkers. Her husband is in another state, and now I'm realizing this is probably a dangerous situation. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

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2. 60

   Kurant82posted 12 years ago

   Well it depends it the woman is very attractive or looks like week old road kill ran over by a tractor. Also it depends on whether or not you know the husband, if you are good friends and have known the husband for a long time I think you should be fine, unless you really are a morally immune scumbag, and if that's the case maybe you should do the world a favor and walk directly into oncoming traffic. If you do not know the husband and the wife is hot, the answer is simply NO you cannot be good friends without crossing the lines, eventually it is going to happen that is just the nature of man.

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   1. 75

      Cantuhearmescreamposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Kurant82,
      Are you serious? What. it is okay to interfere in a commited relationship if the person in question is good looking enough? That is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's why women bash men because of stupid things like that.

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3. 59

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   Hmm...consider the circumstances surrounding the line of work you are in, I don't think we are really in a position to give you any real advice, (As you might already know, everybody want the cops to protect them, but in the same time, everybody are critical of them, due to fear of stuff like police coruption) but maybe, if she understand where you are coming from and agree with you, you guys can change partners?
   
   PS: Kurant82, I guess it is probably because they exercise regularly and are very fit, but according to my observation, most younger female cops are very attractive looking, so my guess we got a road kill problem, already

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4. 52

   riverside27posted 12 years ago

   Yes you can.........but look at her as a working patner..Think of her as someone who has a family of her own, respect her for who she is....Even though her husband is in another state...But if she does starts to flirt....remind her of commitment of being a married lady and to stay true to her vows...

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5. 59

   fpherj48posted 12 years ago

   Hmmmmmm....Well, if you felt it necessary to pose this question, you have a point in thinking this may just be a "dangerous" situation.  However, being aware of the danger may be what helps you to stay clear of any trouble or temptations.  If "she" has given you vibes or you feel she's "flirting," you're in an even more dangerous spot.  If there's nothing you can do to avoid being paired with Ms. Married, looks like your self-control is in for the work-out of it's life!!  My motherly advice?  Behave yourself!

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6. 75

   Cantuhearmescreamposted 11 years ago

   Maice,
   I think that it is 100% possible and 99.9% dangerous. You would have to have one of the most healthy, satisfying and fulfilling marriages in the world, not to mention an understanding wife, to pull this off. Do I think that there are men who simply want to be “just friends” with another woman or some men that do have innocent relationships with the opposite sex? Yes, I do. But, we all know that it is easiest to take our anger, depression and every other negative emotion out on those closest to us. So you have to consider the idea that you must be venting some of that out on your wife and not your “girl” friend. Also, your wife will naturally be feeding you some of her own negative emotions which your “girl” friend will not be putting on you because that is not your role in the relationship.  So friends often don’t have the stress associated with them that our significant others often do and friendships are sometimes more refreshing and begins to take on a more “pleasant” experience than that of what you are getting at home. Sometimes we aren’t looking to further relationships but after a certain amount of quality bonding time is spent with another person, feelings may develop naturally without control over it. Furthermore, you leave yourself exposed to the idea that you may be able to keep any “inappropriate” feelings at bay, but your friend may not. What do you do when your friend starts developing feelings for you? What if they don’t directly tell you but start responding to you and the relationship in a more intimate matter? What if she does directly come out and tell you? What if she initiates more than a friendship with you? I think that it is a relatively dangerous situation and I personally find that I and many other couples do well with incorporating their spouse into a friendship. Double dates, backyard BBQs, card night? Make your “girl” friend, your wives friend as well?

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7. 48

   Penelope Pringlesposted 8 years ago

   No even if you both have no intentions at first things can change. I don't think it's even possible to keep it just work. It's human nature to talk about your life, likes dislikes and so on. Without even knowing it you can become attached to that person and then feelings evolve . It's best to keep work just that. Hanging out and being friends is not fair to your coworker or your wife.

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