Is it normal to get angry when you remember your past relationship?

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   jessyferari1posted 13 years ago

   Is it normal to get angry when you remember your past relationship?
   
   I've been broken up with my ex for about six months to a year now, I do not miss my time with him because it became very difficult towards the end.. he cheated. I mean it was a lot. I'm still single and I want to be in love again but that hasn't happened, but occasionally I remember my ex but not  in good way... but just this wave of anger,  anger at the time I wasted with him and with all the love I feel I gave him just wasted and completely unappreciated. Is it normal?

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2. 73

   SimpleGiftsofLoveposted 13 years ago

   It is normal to be angry, and hurt, but if it keeps you from moving forward, it can be a poison.  Let go, and you open yourself up for new possibilities, that just might surprise you, which include friendships and people in your life that can love you until you regain your confidence.  Cheaters are the losers, because when they buy the lie that the grass is greener, they pay eventually.  Be at peace with who you are, a gift of God.  Someday your healing will provide hope for someone else.

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   fpherj48posted 13 years ago

   Anger is certainly a "normal" emotion, but there's a time when you need to LET IT GO.  I don't know you, jessy...but I most definitely KNOW your issue quite well.  Hopefully, you will be more receptive to my response to your question if I first share with you that I am a wise, experienced Grandmother at this point in my life. My journey to this place was an extreme adventure in nearly EVERY aspect in life. I have listened and counselled and helped hundreds of people through a vast collection of life's Giant Roller Coaster ride.  Having said this, I want to focus closely on ONE particular word in your hub.....that word is "WASTE."  This may well be the key to your "anger."  Coming to terms with this therefore can be an enormous relief to you in terms of the "letting go," I referred to.  Putting the cheating and hurt BEHIND you is step #1.  He cheated...ALOT...time with him became difficult and it is OVER.....done.   The time you spent with him was NOT wasted.  HE may have wasted your time based on the fact that ultimately he was not worthy of your love and your efforts.....but YOU did not waste your time at all.  We experience, learn and grow with every relationship, with everything we do in our life.  You also taught this man something, whether you realize it or not.  Through you, he has had to face his own ugly deceitful ways that cost him the pure love of a GOOD woman.  If it has not happened yet, one day this realization will hit him like a ton of bricks and worse, it will be too late for him to make amends.  You need to believe in your strength and go forward.  When you feel anger building over this period in your life, continue to remind yourself it's simply NOT IMPORTANT to you any longer.  Do not allow the memory of this pain to steal your present joy and your desire to fall in love again.  Open your heart and trust again.  All men and all relationships are not at all the same.   I believe you can conquer this.  BELIEVE you can...and trust me, you will.  Good luck dear lady.

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   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   "Anger is the mask that hurt wears". You need to stop blaming yourself for being fooled by your ex. Having said that every experience we have teaches a lesson. Maybe there were signs or clues that your ex was up to no good but you chose to ignore them. Going forward you now know you should trust your instincts. If something doesn't "feel" right then it's probably not right for you.
   What keeps people from falling in love a second or third time is not that they don't believe they can trust (someone) again. It's because they don't believe they trust THEMSELF to select the right mate. Forgive yourself for the choice you made in the past.

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   stricktlydatingposted 13 years ago

   Yep, totally normal.  Someone you loved and trusted cheated on you really badly.  You may always, or for a long time, feel angry with him for that.  But you can also be happy that the relationship ended, because you don't desire to have a relationship with someone who's prone to cheating.  If he's going to do that sort of thing, at least now it will not involve you and you have the chance to find someone better to be with in the future!  Best wishes.

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   juiwei2000posted 13 years ago

   It is reasonable to be angry.  But a piece of advice is that, you guys aren't dating anymore, so there are really no point for you to hold onto that past.

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   KrystalDposted 13 years ago

   Have you experienced a break up recently? Do you find yourself angry, shocked or even depressed? DO NOT PANIC! read more

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   Sheila Leeposted 13 years ago

   Yes, it is normal. But you have to move on. The past is the past, there is nothing you can do about it. Learn from the experience, grow from it. Grow from the experience to be better than that experience. Dwelling on the past is not going to help. Accept the anger and then let it go.

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