What's the best way to get over shyness to date and get into a relationship?

1. 75

   Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

   What's the best way to get over shyness to date and get into a relationship?

   replyreport
2. 72

   Mom Katposted 12 years ago

   Build up your self-confidence & self-esteem.
   When you know you're awesome, it is only natural that others will be able to see that in the way you carry yourself.
   People are attracted to confidence. 
   
   Figure out what the bests parts about you are and take time to really be proud of yourself for all of the fantastic and unique qualities that make you who you are.
   
   You're the only you in the whole world ~ who wouldn't want to hang out with you?

   replyreport
   1. 63

      soconfidentposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would suggest the same.

      replyreport
   2. 0

      supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      not bad -good suggestion   but will this not make you over confident?

      replyreport
3. 59

   Andy210posted 12 years ago

   Someone I know created a free e-course on how to succeed with men. I know it covers topics such as how to build self-esteem and initiate a conversation with other men. I believe it's still at whatmenseek.com
   
   Aside from that, the technical term for the process of overcoming shyness is systematic desensitization. In other words, little by little you take steps in becoming more confident and at ease around other men.
   
   First, for a few days you would visualize yourself approaching a guy you like, initiating a conversation with him, and then him responding well. After this, you would find opportunities to make small talk with different men you come across. For instance, when you go out grocery shopping, you would practice looking your cashier in the eye with a smile and asking him how his day is going.
   
   Pretty much the more you talk to men and make small talk with them (whether they be your grocery store cashier, gas station cashier, car mechanic, etc.), the more at ease you'll become.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      good

      replyreport
4. 63

   soconfidentposted 12 years ago

   To get over shyness you need to boost your confindence. People are shy, because they don't think their good enough. So the best thing to do would be to work on yourself.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      not bad

      replyreport
5. 0

   twinlyposted 12 years ago

   I am extremely shy and what did it for me was I was tired of being lonely. I started to ask women out and it was indeed difficult. I received much rejection. But I had the mindset that I wanted to date. If the woman rejected me, I just counted it as her loss. Little did the "rejectors" know that I saved myself completely for 21 years for my soon to be princess. That was the one thing I had to offer.
   
   I met her one day in my college course and she liked me just the way I was. Shy, quiet, absolutely no confidence, and awkward. The ironic part is I didn't have to ask her out; she asked me out.
   
   It is important to remember that there are billions of people in the world. Think of this process like a massive check out line. It is a mathematical probability that one of the billions of people in line is going to say yes, even if you get seven hundred thousands no's. The main thing with being shy is to just do it. It is tough, but you can do it!

   replyreport
   1. 0

      supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your shyness adds extra time to your character which in return give you opportunities to spend your time in the act of creativity .It has ,I think , already been fixed the relationship of you and your would be  half.

      replyreport
6. 81

   austinhealyposted 12 years ago

   I wish I had known the answer to that when I was a teenager. It took me a whole year to finally talk to a special girl I had fallen in love with. I was lucky she didn't pick somebody else in the meantime. Over the years, I overcame the problem and the best recipe is to be yourself all the time. At some poinbt you're going to have to talk to that special person and there is no time like now, so go for it, just say hello, just smile, buy her or him a drink, anything to get his or her attention. And oh, a sure winner, dance. It took me years to realize this one, but there is no better door opener than dancing, the best ice breaker ever, by a long shot...

   replyreport
7. 0

   supreme upbeatposted 12 years ago

   Why do you want shyness remove .Sometime it works to unfold ...............

   replyreport
8. 61

   Cynisterposted 12 years ago

   I have never had a difficult time with men. I was the first grader chasing boys around the playground! But when I was a teenager I did start becoming shy around guys I really liked. The difference? I thought the stakes were higher! I was a daydreamer .. Who cares what most guys think of me .. But the ONE guy who could be the one?! THAT made me nervous.
   
   Through the years I have realized that no one man can complete me, because I complete me. There isn't a lot at stake that way and I stopped giving myself time to dwell on the 'what ifs' like 'what if he could've been my future husband and I screw it up by saying something dumb?' If I saw someone I thought I'd be interested in, I would not wait for the suspense to build. I'd just strike up a conversation. No time to get nervous that way!
   
   Think of dating as a job, you'll need to go out and practice being outgoing and interacting with people a lot in a social and flirtatious way before it starts to feel natural. Start small.. Strike up a conversation with someone safe like a cute server or barista. Or an ugly lonely guy at a bar. Whatever! Just talk! You'll become more confident and feel like you're tripping over your words less and less. Eventually, go on a date and be yourself! Someone great will see the amazing in you if you put yourself out there!

   replyreport
   1. 0

      supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      over confident

      replyreport
9. 60

   researchpapersposted 12 years ago

   This question made me remind of my very first date when i was 16 and was going to date a girl age 22 that was awkward moment and i was feeling so shy at that time when every one there watching me.

   replyreport
10. 61

    katielroseposted 12 years ago

    First of all, don't put members of the opposite sex on a pedestal. As a woman, I like to be treated like a princess from time to time, but in a relationship, I want to be treated like a person 95% of the time.
    
    My suggestion; find a hobby that puts you around other people of the opposite sex (I like playing pool, maybe take up partner dancing if you are a guy). You'll gain confidence as you get good at it and meet people at the same time. The shyness will just fade away naturally.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       good suggestion

       replyreport
11. 0

    The Longhunterposted 12 years ago

    I dated some after my divorce but my shyness kept me from going to bars and all the stuff single people typically do to meet people. All of my friends were married. I decided to spend as much time as possible with my son. If I met someone, I met someone.
    
    In October of 2008, a cancer scare broke me of my shyness and not living my life as much as possible. I stuck my neck out, asking a woman 22 years younger than I to go out. She said yes and she's now my bride.

    replyreport
12. 76

    stricktlydatingposted 12 years ago

    Take up a hobby, sport or interest group or class, that way you will be doing something that interests you and mixing with new people.  This way you're likely to meet people with similar interests to you and you will already have a hobby in common to talk about and share together, and you can build on the new friendship until you feel comfortable about proper 'dating'.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       supreme upbeatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       good one

       replyreport
13. 53

    vashttii1posted 12 years ago

    Happy people live their lives with out allowing life to pass them by! Shy people are sometimes baby dinosours just trying to get out of their shell. Some shells are like steel bars and others are less constructed and its somewhat easier to brake free. Their are books on overcoming shy-ness!  But imagine your hungry and you are craving your favorit food. You have a 20$ bill in your pocket, and your 5 minutes away from the food you want. Would you get the food and satisfy your craving or would you go make yourself a green smoothy without any organic honey! The point is in order to get into a relationship change is needed in the way you think. Instead of allowing shy thoughts to keep you single and watching others live, teach yourself to make braver choices. Having a love life or the begining of a romantic friendship is refreshing. And if you find the right person then its breath taking.

    replyreport