Would you give a compliment publicly or privately?

1. 87

   midget38posted 11 years ago

   Would you give a compliment publicly or privately?

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   GlstngRosePetalsposted 11 years ago

   Well that would depend on what the compliment was for. If the compliment was for something in public then I would compliment in public. If it was something in private than keep the compliment private. Each action creates a reaction so if you want to get the most out of your compliment think about the situation and what the reaction would be to the person you compliment.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great advice, GistngRosePetals!

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   Paul Kuehnposted 11 years ago

   As a 5th grade EFL teacher I give compliments to my students publicly with the intention of making people feel good in front  of their peers.  The other purpose of this is to motivate and inspire other students to do well.  As a teacher, It has always been my policy to praise publicly and admonish privately.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      As a fellow teacher I so agree, Paul. We have to give the kids compliments publicly for the good things they do. If we have to let them down, it's never good to do it in front of their friends. True!

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   Stephanie Henkelposted 11 years ago

   There is a place for both public and private complements. I do like to complement people in public for things like a job well done because it is a way of giving them recognition in front of their peers. I think that it is also important to complement children for a job well done in front of other adults because it boosts their confidence to know that we are proud of them. (Let's always be sincere and not over-do it, though!)   
   
   Sometimes, it's more appropriate to complement people in private. If I were complementing someone on their tactful way of handling a situation or on their weight loss, I would probably do it privately.
   
   One thing I'd like to say about complements in general. Insincere or gushing complements are just embarrassing, and sometimes downright annoying!  And, in a group when one person is the recipient of all the complements, it doesn't make the rest of the group feel good.  Don't go overboard!

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Too true, Stephanie. Kids need the recognition! We sometimes compliment in a group, and end up making people feel embarrassed. Something I was thinking about!

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   Goody5posted 11 years ago

   I would give someone a compliment both ways.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Goody5!

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   Sunshine625posted 11 years ago

   It all depends on the situation, but I go both ways. Publicly and privately.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It does depend on the situation, Linda! Thanks for sharing!

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   viveresperandoposted 11 years ago

   It depends on the situation and the individual.  Some individuals are introverts by nature and prefer any type of compliment in private, giving a introvert a compliment in public might actually make it uncomfortable for them.  Why give a compliment and in the process make them uncomfortable?  I know some individuals which actually love being complimented in front of others, it is a great motivator for them.  I would try to decided which would way would be received better for the specific individual.  It is just being nice.

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   1. 87

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I'd wholeheartedly agree with this one. It really depends on the nature of the person. And the persons surrounding him...if those tend to be a little bit uncomfortable at being complimented, I'd not compliment in public. Thanks for the insights!

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   Daisy Mariposaposted 11 years ago

   Michelle,
   
   It depends upon the compliment...what is being said and to whom.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely the social situation must be borne in mind! Thanks for sharing!

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   Nyamacheposted 11 years ago

   It depends who I'm complimenting. I will compliment those who have low esteem publicly so as to make them realize that they're being appreciated. This will motivate them and raise their self-esteem.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True.It boosts their ego, though we have to be mindful that they might feel embarrassed too!

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    vocalcoachposted 11 years ago

    I prefer to give a compliment publicly when appropriate as it tends to raise the self esteem and is also a good example to others.  However, if the compliment might embarrass the person in some way then I give it privately.  We, as parents and teachers must also be careful when good things are said about one sibling with the other looking on.  Find something good to say about each one in that case.
    
    Good question.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       So true! We have to be careful when others look on as they might feel uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing!

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    teaches12345posted 11 years ago

    It depends.  It is nice to acknowledge someone in public so that others are aware of the effort and can also compliment.  If it is something that is personal and you want to make it special, then private expression is better.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes. If the person feels embarrassed about being complimented, it is best not to say anything too!

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    Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

    Either.  If I feel a compliment coming on I just go with it at the time.  I guess if it were a matter that I thought might better be mentioned privately, then I'd go for "privately".  An example might be if someone looked great because, say, they lost a lot of weight.  I wouldn't bring that kind of personal matter up in public.  But, with the routine "your hair looks really good like that," or "That color looks really nice on your," I'd see no reason not to just say it.  On bigger matters (like, maybe somebody showed particular skill doing something) I'd just say it, whether anyone else was round or not.  So, I guess I draw that line on that particularly personal stuff.  Of course, there can be a difference between, for example, "You write really well," and "You're sure writing a lot better than you used to," so that would make a difference in my choice of when/where to give the compliment too.
    
    I'm not a teacher, but my personal thinking regarding child and compliments, though, is that it can be nice to spend a little extra time with the child in private, and get to talk a little about whatever it is that deserves the compliment.  Besides having that "mini-quality time" with the child, I'd be reluctant to call too much (even positive) attention to some children about some things in some situations; because a lot of kids get embarrassed or otherwise uncomfortable if someone singles them out.  Some people might say, "Well, let them get more comfortable receiving positive attention, then."  I think, though, for kids who really don't like being singled out and/or having someone "make a big deal" about something good that they did (publicly), the benefits of receiving a compliment at all can be outweighed by the discomfort and wish the adult understood his needs/wishes better.  Very young children are less likely to be uncomfortable.  Kids approaching or in adolescence can be a lot more likely to prefer not to be singled out.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for the wonderful insight, Lisa! Exactly what I was thinking too. Some people will feel embarrassed because they feel singled out or bad that they got the attention! Others may feel jealous too. So discretion must be exercised. Thank you!

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       Lisa HWposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       midget138, thanks.  It's nice to know I may not entirely be a giant oddball and weirdo.   lol

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    petenaliposted 11 years ago

    A private compliment comes with no risk of an ulterior motive.  The only people who know about the compliment are you and the person you are complimenting.  It tends to be heartfelt and genuine.
    A public compliment could be used to further your own personal agenda, albeit in the guise of making someone else look good.
    That being said, credit where credit is due.  If you are speaking publicly and there is an opportunity to genuinely compliment someone, I think it's perfectly fine to do so.  Personally, in that scenario, I would want to have complimented them privately first.

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