How often do you think about your former spouse?

1. 83

   KatyWhoWaitedposted 10 years ago

   How often do you think about your former spouse?
   
   Do you think about your former spouse every day, about once a week, once a month, every so often, never? It would help my little informal research to know if you are the one how wanted the divorce, if your spouse was the one who wanted the divorce, or if both of you wanted the divorce (a situation that statistically is very rare, I believe).  Also how long ago was your divorce?  Has time spent in thinking about your spouse decreased with time, stayed the same, or perhaps even increased?  Thank you for your input      
   
   

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2. 70

   Paradise7posted 10 years ago

   I still think about my first husband quite often, maybe four or five times a week, though I haven't seen him in years.  I broke up with him; still, I haven't found anyone else that means to me what he meant to me.  I remarried, but that didn't work out for a number of reasons.  I don't think about husband number two very much at all.
   
   The time spent thinking about my husband has changed its character over time.  Now, I'm more sentimental than resentful, which is nice.  I'm more nostalgic than bitter.  Which is much, much better.

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   1. 83

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Paradise7, I so much appreciate your answer.  If I knew I was I thought of nostalgically by my husband who left 20 years ago, it would make me very happy. I think abt that time in my first marriage now, after all these years as a gift,  I once had.

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3. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Hardly ever.
   I wanted the divorce and it took place over 16 years ago although I moved out a year prior. I did however mention my marriage in my book as an  example of how one (chooses) the wrong mate for themselves and learns the following lesson.
   "There is no amount of  (work) or (communication) that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want."
   When it's comes to relationships there really is no "right" or "wrong". There is only "agree" and "disagree".
   Ultimately everyone is searching for someone who (naturally agrees) with them on the (important) things. Not only should you share the same values, want the same things for the marriage, and agree on how to obtain them but there should be a mutual love, desire, and respect for one another.
   In order for her or him to be "the one" they'd have to see you as being "the one". That's the underlying definition of (soul mates).
   I personally believe the number one cause for divorce is and always has been selecting the wrong mate for ourselves. There are numerous reasons why this happens. I go into much more detail in my book.
   http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Wont-Bark-Rel … 1468104721
   "When it comes to relationships most of us (fail our way) to success! Very few us meet "the one" the first time out the gate. Live and learn."
   Best of luck with your research!

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   1. 83

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      so, r you actually my first husband? lol Downloaded kindle version of ur book Must say, as 1 who was left, these words r  a bitter pill  to swallow. My present husb often doesn't want the same thing as I do, but wld never leave. Maybe he's too tired.

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   2. 81

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      KatyWhoWaited , Thanks for the download. I hope the book is not all bitter pills for you! LOL! Seriously it's designed to get the reader to focus on what they want and make better choices by staying aware. Let me know what you think!

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4. 74

   ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years ago

   Constantly. I'm having a very hard time letting it go.
   
   Hey wait...I've never had a former spouse.
   
   But if I did, be rest assured, she's something else. Just lovely.

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   1. 83

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      ParadigmEnacted, thought I responded, but just noticed my response disappeared... like 'hey wait, I must never have responded' (Ha!)  And I'm sorry you lost your imaginary spouse, lovely being as she would have been.

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