Why are baby boomers simultaneously so critical of parenting and such bad parent

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   ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years ago

   Why are baby boomers simultaneously so critical of parenting and such bad parents themselves?

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   Lisa HWposted 10 years ago

   This question implies something that is either not accurate or else a blanket generalization.  I'm a second-wave Boomer - not quite the same as age as first-wave Boomers - , and I'm not "so critical of parenting" across the board.  I'm sometimes critical of SOME things SOME parents do/have done.  I'm uncomfortable pointing out that I'm not a bad parent, because we all know how objectionable it is when someone isn't willing to just accept being assumed "bad" at something when, in fact, that person can only make the point that she isn't by saying something positive about herself.  Still, as one of the people old enough to be a Boomer, I've lived long enough to have had so many people say so many things about either me, or some group I'm in, that simply haven't been true.  So, I suppose I'm now at the edge of starting to learn how to be one of those outspoken and blunt "old people" who says what she wants to say without worrying about who'll like her or not.   LOL
   
   I'm certainly not a "bad parent".  In fact, my own parents were excellent parents but did a few small things that I think needed a little improvement, but those few things were reflections of how people thought in the 1950's/1960's.  So, when I grew up and had and/or adopted my own children I decided to be pretty much the same kind of parent that my parents had been, but make a few minor changes with regard to those few minor things that I think they could have understood/done better.
   
   I'm sure I've done my "few small things", even if a different "few small things" from what my parents did; but I'm a very good parent.  How can I prove that I don't just think that without its being true?  I can't really, but I can say that I'm far from the only one who has ever asserted that I'm a good parent, and that includes my own children.  I know the results of my parenting.  I did pass the adoption screening, which involves professionals getting a reading one a person's parenting philosophies, practices, etc.
   
   I'm "quietly proud" of the parent that I am, proud of my kids, proud of my being strong enough and loving enough to guide them through some awfully challenging times,  and happy to know that all the time, thought, effort, and love I put into being a good - no, excellent - parent from the day my babies were either born or handed to me right up to now - as I continue to think out my new role and responsibilities in their lives now that they're grown - have become "the proof of the pudding".

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      BuffaloGal1960posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'm a baby boomer & I don't think I am a bad parent.  Of course, most people probably don't think they are a bad parent, but if you consider I raise my kids to be moral, productive citizens and make a difference in the world, then I am bad a pare

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      ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      OK, fair enough. I don't know you personally and I can't judge you as an individual, but it seems that this era is a focal point for parental issues and that's based on experience. So the question remains open to a broader evaluation.

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   ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years ago

   I might have worded this differently. It just seems like sweeping social issues which are a product of bad parenting are a modern phenomenon that in some way pertains, either directly or indirectly, to people either born or raised in the 60's and 70's. I've noted that Boomers in particular are very critical, judgmental, sanctimonious, competitive, or just sensitive to the issue of quality parenting which leads me to believe that the entire issue for better or worse exists in the vacuum of the era that they are part of.
   
   I have reason to believe that things like age gaps and parent/child conflicts are emphasized more in modern times than they were earlier because Boomers are either directly or indirectly involved. I include parents from the 70's with the realization that their performance in influenced by the climate of the 60's.
   
   I also realize that a lot of critical people have trouble being self-critical or viewing things objectively. More of a shift focus, find someone or something else to pin it on situation.

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      Lisa HWposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I think you're right, which is why I stayed an outsider as far as parenting goes.  I think I saw how it all happened, and it's a Hub or a book in itself.  No space here to elaborate.  Think it's more societal trends than just individuals though.

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      ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. Microcosm/Macrocosm, although by now it has become very individual as well.

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   Ericdierkerposted 10 years ago

   Who the heck are you. Let me see. Four great children contributing to the arts, the sciences, civic duty politics, Native American causes, Healthcare with 7 degrees between them. Who show love and adoration to their mother and me, pay taxes have great significant others, can drink with the best but do not often. Know mountains and beaches been on every continent.
   I am a baby boomer but the story above about children born to baby boomers could get bigger and cooler.
   
   I gather you are a child of a baby boomer and boo hoo for you.
   
   I got this buddy who is kind of black, kind of Hawaiian and kind of Kenyan. Great degrees and study. A pretty good bloke all around. He kind of has a nasty liberal bent but that is cool.
   I hear he is a baby boomer and his title is President of the United States of America.
   You insult my generation in your pity pot.

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      ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yup, that's what I keep getting. This whole issue about dishing out and receiving criticism, and it's disproportional. Can't take credit for anything unless it's at someone's expense. You guys exist in a vacuum...so love one another. LOL!

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   Denise Handlonposted 10 years ago

   I don't agree that the Baby Boomer parent is a 'bad' parent.  I'm a baby boomer with two grown daughters and four grandkids.  All are wonderful, considerate, stable, well functioning citizens of their communities.  Both my daughters are professional service workers.  I've never had to deal with smoking, drug use, or alcohol issues-not they did not 'experiment'. 
   
   Do you want to know the reason why they have such great values, which they are now handing down to their own children?  Because they had a great mom who cared enough to parent them with values and made them accountable for their behavior.
   
   Yep-I'm a great parent, and proud to say so, and I'm a fun, loving, and great 'parent' to my grandchildren.  If you want to know more about my parenting skills and suggestions check some of my hubs.
   
   I just read some of the other comments.  It appears you've hit a sore point with us 'Baby Boomer' parents. 

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      ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It seems pretty clear that my question calls for us to evaluate a generational trend, and that this places less emphasis on individual circumstance. But shining example of how self-interest wins out and being quick to lash out at perceived criticism.

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      Lisa HWposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      The Women's Movement and Technology boom made a lot of people think that mothering was a nice but not-all-the-important thing, and that words/skill in understanding human beings and babies were nice, but not important or "smart".  Values changed.

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