What causes so many people to believe that those who elect and choose not to hav

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

   What causes so many people to believe that those who elect and choose not to have any children
   
   to be deemed as selfish and irresposnbile people?
   
   

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2. 75

   CraftytotheCoreposted 10 years ago

   I think some people believe it's a moral obligation to have children due to the saying, "Be Fruitful and Multiply".  So some think those that are childless are selfish.  (Speaking only from hearing people say things like that in my life.  I didn't have children until I was older, so I had it said to me a lot.)
   
   I've known many people who would love to have children and simply cannot.  So how would it be "unselfish" to apply a fair standard to childless couples based on what others think is a "moral" obligation?

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3. 84

   Lee Teaposted 10 years ago

   I don't know...I don't think this about childless couples.  I'm too busy raising children, which takes all of my time and most of my attention.  Rearing two young people really takes the wind out of my sails when it comes to judging - or really even paying attention to - others.
   
   Could it be childless couples are just paranoid about what others think of them?  The only childless couples I've ever known have been great at entertaining company and can do so long after I'm good - god bless em.
   
   I started thinking how maybe this is a one-sided argument after watching that computer-generated video you posted on another "childless couples" post.  It cracked me up!  I don't have the time or energy to tell a childless woman how I think she should be, let alone the time to make a movie about it lol.  Must've been a childless-films production.  While standing up for your childless status is a preoccupation of yours, I'm not sure there's many fighting the other side of the fight.  Can't you see - we're tired!

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think this about women w/children. To EACH, THEIR own.  All is NECESSARY.  LOVE all I SAY!

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   2. 84

      Lee Teaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Don't think what about women w/children?  I say the same - to each their own, all is necessary, love all.  There's no problem here.  You agree?  Maybe I'm just not the audience you're addressing with this post.

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   3. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's fine. EVERYONE is welcome to participate regarding this question.  What I DISLIKE is that some childfree women call women w/children breeders. That is totally disgusting & totally uncalled for. HOW DARE they! Been visiting too many blogs !

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   4. 84

      Lee Teaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Oh...hahahaha!  "Breeders".  Never really heard this...I must not be visiting enough social clubs!  Definitely not with the kids lol.

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      Georgie Loweryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Breeders isn't nearly as bad a term as what some people call children. I don't have kids but never in my life would I use those kinds of words!

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   6. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Me neither.  Such disrespect and utter dehumanization of motherhood.  How egregious indeed!

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4. 61

   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   I think to some extent we are products of what we see and are exposed to. Most people choose to have children. Our kids books have the nuclear family as the prominent model.  So kids think this is the norm and when faced with a "norm" all else is not normal.
   
   It would stand to reason if we grow up believing families are a couple with children then we would assume the choice not to have kids means the people are selfish and not mature enough to face the responsibility of being a parent.
   
   Well gm, it made sense in my head anyway!! LOL

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5. 40

   Borsiaposted 10 years ago

   According to my parents it is a terrible thing but I decided at a very young age that I have no desire to have children.
   Though my ex and I were together for 27 years we never even considered having children and I have to say that IMHO she would have been a worse mother than I would have been a bad father.
   I simply don't have the patience for children. I can tolerate being around them for a fairly short time and there are ages that I enjoy spending some time with. But if you have your own you don't get to choose and you can't just send them away or leave if they get on your nerves.
   Now that I am close enough to 60 that I can't deny getting older I have never regretted my decision, despite all the times my own parents told me I would.
   Am I selfish or irresponsible,,, perhaps; but that isn't why I never had kids. It simply never fit  into my lifestyle.
   Given my opinion of where the world is heading I'm rather happy that I don't need to worry about the long term future, which I see as rather bleak.
   I had a wonderful childhood and loving parents, the type that psychologists insist nobody had. I was a country kid but near a city and  wanted for nothing. Both of my parents are very well educated. My family was highly successful and well known enough to have streets named after us. As land owners we had a great sense of stability.

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   1. 84

      Lee Teaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This is great insight.  Thanks for a bit of your wisdom.

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