Why men allow themselves to get trapped in a loveless relationship cuz of the ki

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   StraightTalker201posted 10 years ago

   Why men allow themselves to get trapped in a loveless relationship cuz of the kids?
   
   I guess I should really rephrase the question and say.. Why do men and women allow themselves to be in a loveless relationship just for the kids? Do they not know that kids can sense wether or not mommy and daddy truly love each other? If anything the kids suffer more.

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   cjaroszposted 10 years ago

   Yes, kids can sense it. And in the end it will affect them in one way or another. My sister once told me. Using your kids as an excuse to stay in a relationship is you not being an adult and taking responsibility. Yes, splitting bothers them. Either way, they will won't be happy. If your not happy how can they be. They knows tension, and anger just like adults. Growing up knowing your parents hate each other isn't fun. Either. You work it out and be happy together or go your desperate ways. It our responsibility as parents to give our children a happy home. I have seen so many affected by growing up in that situation . Neither one is going to make your kids happy. Life goes on. If you can't love the person you married, then you don't need to be marries

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      AMEN to that!

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   Alphadogg16posted 10 years ago

   Staying for the children is just silly and is a sign of immaturity, self esteem issues, and not being accountable for your actions. Kids most definitely can see through it and it hurts/affects them more in the long run.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Alphadogg16, INTELLIGENT and INSIGHTFUL response as usual.

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   StraightTalker201posted 10 years ago

   The justification i have been given by guys/men i know its because they don't want to lose the two most important things in the world to them... That is the house they have put all their money and sweat into and that they don't want to lose their kids? My question is.. Is your true happiness worth being miserable up until someone snaps and it ends bitter? Or why not be grown up and realize that all u had before was good and dandy and just cut your loses,and swallow your pride and learn from your mistake of where you went wrong and ensure yourself that the next relationship you get involved in its not gonna happen again because you'll know better! At the end of the day everyone wins.. Kids will be hurt now Yes! But as they grow older they will realize that what their parents did for themselves actually benefited them as well and from that they can learn for future relationships. -ST201

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Another intelligent answer.

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   gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

   
   
   There are many people who believe that children deserve a stable home.  In their eyes, a stable home means two parents.  There are traditionalists who believe that parents, although they may loathe and detest each other, should stay together to provide a "strong,stable, loving" environment to their children.  To them, the very worst thing is for their children to grow up in a broken and discordant household. 
   
   Furthermore, such traditionalists feel that it is extremely selfish for a couple to part ways especially if there are children involved.  They feel that it is the MATURE and NOBLE thing to BE TOGETHER for the sake of the children.  Besides traditionalists, there are religionists who do not believe in divorce, they believe that marriage is forever no matter how discordant.  They believe that they are married until death does part so they stay together although they may odiously hate each other because to separate is viewed as sinful according to their religion. 
   
   Then there are those who see divorce as a sign of fialure and disgrace.  They often remain together for the sake of appearances.  They believe in putting up a front of the "happily married couple" in order to appear acceptable in the eyes of their peers, neighbors, family members, and their children.  To them, divorce is a fate worse than death and they intend to avoid that at any cost.
   
   Then there are those who come from broken homes and such people will remain married, even in a loveless relationship because they refuse to let their children experience what they have experienced as children.  They want to give their children as stable a home environment as possible.  To them, the thought of separating is totally aberrant to them.  They want their children to have a "better" home environment than they had as children.
   
   Of course, children sense when their parents stay together for their sakes.  They also realize the hypocrisy of such arrangements.  They know that their parents are not happy. They know that their parents are not honoring themselves nor them by staying together in a loveless marriage.  They also know that their parents are too fearful and afraid to realize that they would be better off if they went their separate ways.  Such children often lose respect for such parents for the latter are not truly authentic people living their particular truth.

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