Is it better to remain in a marriage for the children or to divorce and find happiness?
Divorce! Children are not happy if their parents aren't happy. And kids are not stupid, they can see through fake smiles. Parents divorcing is upsetting at any age. If you're sure there's no room for improvement; the sooner it's done the better! It's better for a child to have two good, happy, stable parents separated than two miserable, argumentative, non-attentive parents under the same roof. If the only reason you're sticking around is for your kids, it could come to a point where you even start to subconsciously resent your kids for 'making' you stay.Children want to see their parents happy. Think about what you would want for your parents.
Staying in a bad marriage is not doing children any favors.
With that question it is only because of the kids that you remain in your marriage.
So there is no love for your spouse at all? if that is the case what is the point of remaining in marriage? And I am sure your marriage wont last if there is no love.
But if it is possible to restart all over again. Forgive each other, renew your love and be committed. Stop that divorce and build your family, could that be the best solution?
I totally agree with smzclark. You will not be happy if you stay and the arguing, coldness and resentment will be picked up by your children.
It all depends on circumstances. If people are able to live together in a civilized manner it may be good to stay together. On the other hand if there is constant fighting, violence and alcohol abuse divorce may actually be better for the kids. I know of people that say they wish their parents had a divorce as it would have been better for them.
Kids feel it more when parents stay together. They get hurt more when they see their parents fight everyone would be happier separated. They may even tend to go into depression.
Get a divorce and find happiness. Parents who are miserable with each other and not doing their kids any favors. The tension is unbearable and it makes kids take sides....not cool.
It kind of depends on what has happened to make the Divorce that's happened and stuff. I'm a kid of Parents who are divorced and my mother told me that she had stayed in the Marriage for a little bit because of me and my Siblings. To me its more like playing a game of chance when it comes to this-you just don't know whether something good or bad will come from this.
I don't know. It all depends.
My parents stayed together. I appreciate their sacrifice. They were giving us what they didn't get from their parents, and they felt very strongly that it was important to stay married. It was nice to grow up knowing that no matter what, my family wouldn't be torn apart. Of course there was fighting and crying. There was love, too.
That was different from a situation that might have been truly harmful, like being married to a spouse who struggles with abuse, drugs, or an alcohol addiction. In such cases I definitely think divorce is necessary to protect your kids and give them stability.
But divorce just to seek personal happiness? I don't think being unhappy is a good enough reason to divorce. Almost everyone who decides to stay together, even though things are miserable, experiences a renewal in their marriage later on. It is so much better to try to stick it out with the spouse you already have and work on the issues you already know you have.
My parents went through a divorce when I was very young and I also have to say, divorce. It took me a long time to accept and understand, but I know my parents were doing what was best for me. They weren't happen together, which in turn made me unhappy. They have since found happiness in their own ways now.
There are no definit answer to these question, but I once read, you always should be honest with yourself and others and I guess that applies to this situation
Thanks everyone for all of the thoughts and opinions. Divorce, especially with children involved, should not be taken lightly. I made the effort to try everything I could think of before takin that avenue; and expressed my unhappiness but willingness to work on things for 4 years before divorcing. But you always wonder of u have done right by your innocent children.
The FACT is this:
I can not say if your marriage is a good or bad one.
I can not say if it can benefit from outside counsel.....
I can not say, if it was the result of bad or immature choices.........
I CAN SAY, THAT YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE EFFECTED.
My children will not be touched by your choices........but YOURS will be.............
so the questions, become, how much are you willing to endure, and how much are you willing to sacrifice?
It may take 10, 20 or even 50 years, but your children will ask you the hard questions.
These questions, will be asked.........
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