I have discovered that my best friend is compulsive lying, it hearts a lot, I wa

1. 53

   Tomas Vitaliposted 9 years ago

   I have discovered that my best friend is compulsive lying, it hearts a lot, I want to revenge?
   
   he was lying about basically everything and mix the reality with many unreal stories just to cheat me. he is trying always to make him the honest one. I found that he say different stories to each one to make him self centred and important. always remind me about my weakness in indirect way. so claver to invent stories so quickly. blaming me about his own drama
   now I can not stop thinking about it, I can not trust, looking at his face and I feel stupid not to notice or ignoring the reality. 12 year is too much.
   Now I want not only to break up but also to revenge. please help me what shall Ido?

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2. 95

   MsDoraposted 9 years ago

   Break up if you must, but your friend has a problem.  It becomes you in your role of "best" friend to help him.
   
   Revenge can backfire and add to the hurt you already feel.  On the other hand, you can have an honest friend for life if you help him overcome his problem.  He might just need your unconditional love and acceptance to help him reveal the causes for his lies.

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      Tomas Vitaliposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks alot for your answer,
      To be honest, I can not help him any more as I tried before and tried also to be patient with him but It just like adding wood to the fire. even his own relationships end because his lies, I tried to tell him youare wrong

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   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   Each of us (chooses our own) friends, lovers, and spouse.
   If what you say is true the first thing you need to do is stop referring to him as your "best friend". People who seek revenge do so because they're still "emotionally invested" in the relationship on many levels.
   Walking away and never having anything to do with someone is the healthier choice for (you). Moving on means (letting go) and refusing to allow your mind to dwell on it any longer.
   You said (12 years is too much). However you're responsible for (choosing to stay) in a toxic relationship for that long! If you loved yourself you would have ended this a long time ago. Each of us is entitled to have "deal breakers". Choose your future friends wisely.

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      Tomas Vitaliposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the answer, I was thinking to end it completely I agree with you, but I can not stop thinking about his lies and how he has this ability. I feel that I want to hurt him as he does, but the problem this is not my things.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You can (choose) your thoughts. You can focus your attention elsewhere. As long as you are consumed with his actions he's controlling your mind. Spend time with people who love you and doing activities you enjoy. Moving on means letting go.

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   Snøwmanposted 9 years ago

   This happened to me just recently. The answer to what you should do is in The Bible. Luke 6:41-42
   
   41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
   
   42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye.
   
   Even if you don't believe The Bible, you can trust my personal experience with it.
   
   Forgive him first then you will clearly see into his mind. You will see the real reason why he is lying. My friend that lied to me? Turns out she was just really shy. She hated lying to me, but she was afraid that I wouldn't like her true self. I also noticed her making an effort to be honest and confident. After I forgave her it was so plain and obvious that I felt stupid for not seeing it before. Now we're really close friends again.

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